Horrible prolife response

[Nymph]

Some time ago I told my mom about my suicidal thoughts and that I plan on dying soon and yesterday she talked about her birth and It birth took 12 hours, it was painful, her downstairs area tore and then they had to sew it up and that she cared about me for many years just so that I end up suicidal and was basically complaining about the way that I am and that I want to die and she made a victim out of herself. I'm so mad, I told her that it's not my fault that she decided to have a child and she told me that she made me out of love. Yeah but that does nothing, I still don't want to live. Earlier when we discussed her relationship with my dad she mentioned that when they were first dating she knew that my dad had some mental issues they had to work on etc... he has medication and basically his whole side of family have mental issues. Did she not think about that when she made me? This makes me so angry, she's so selfish and just puts blame on me.

 

[iDieUDie80]

Your mother loves you. Not everyone is prepared for something like this, and not everyone knows how to best approach the situation and help someone that is thinking of ending their life.

 

[Xiaomi]

Some time ago I told my mom about my suicidal thoughts and that I plan on dying soon and yesterday she talked about her birth and It birth took 12 hours, it was painful, her downstairs area tore and then they had to sew it up and that she cared about me for many years just so that I end up suicidal and was basically complaining about the way that I am and that I want to die and she made a victim out of herself. I'm so mad, I told her that it's not my fault that she decided to have a child and she told me that she made me out of love. Yeah but that does nothing, I still don't want to live. Earlier when we discussed her relationship with my dad she mentioned that when they were first dating she knew that my dad had some mental issues they had to work on etc... he has medication and basically his whole side of family have mental issues. Did she not think about that when she made me? This makes me so angry, she's so selfish and just puts blame on me.

Well, I hear the same things. From a mother's perspective I think it's normal. But it's a shame she doesn't understand what I'm going through.

 

[TAW122]

I believe it is partly due to maternal instinct. Not saying it is rational (as many things in this world isn't considered rational, not nature itself). I do empathize with you and I believe that your mother is just projecting her selfishness and guilt onto you by trying to shame you for wanting to die and be free.

 

[dieornottodie]

Some time ago I told my mom about my suicidal thoughts and that I plan on dying soon and yesterday she talked about her birth and It birth took 12 hours, it was painful, her downstairs area tore and then they had to sew it up and that she cared about me for many years just so that I end up suicidal and was basically complaining about the way that I am and that I want to die and she made a victim out of herself. I'm so mad, I told her that it's not my fault that she decided to have a child and she told me that she made me out of love. Yeah but that does nothing, I still don't want to live. Earlier when we discussed her relationship with my dad she mentioned that when they were first dating she knew that my dad had some mental issues they had to work on etc... he has medication and basically his whole side of family have mental issues. Did she not think about that when she made me? This makes me so angry, she's so selfish and just puts blame on me.

i am sorry but society is to blame, they keep this propaganda about myth of love and stuff, and tell people about marriage and shit,

all of it doesnt work and is fake

they should stop bringing people to life or give us the right to assisted suicide

i dont blame my mother because her dad forced to marriage and shit but i dont want her to contact me anymore, she shld forget about me

i never told anyone of my will to die because i know the kind of high horse talk they ll give

 

[Nymph]

Your mother loves you. Not everyone is prepared for something like this, and not everyone knows how to best approach the situation and help someone that is thinking of ending their life.

Yeah but it's hard to talk to her about my feelings. And she keep forcing me to explain to her how I feel but she starts talking About how I'm lazy and too lazy to change and shit.

I believe it is partly due to maternal instinct. Not saying it is rational (as many things in this world isn't considered rational, not nature itself). I do empathize with you and I believe that your mother is just projecting her selfishness and guilt onto you by trying to shame you for wanting to die and be free.

It's hard to talk to her about how I feel because of that. I hate it so much. I wish she could understand but sometimes I feel like she doesn't want to

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I love how you held on to your rationality and didn't take on ownership of her choice to have a child, the twelve hour labor, or the physical trauma from it.

She made you out of love. Okay. But she made an autonomous person, not a possession.

I had a friend who was burdened by the belief of what he continually owed his mother thirty years after the finite twelve hours of labor, and reminded him of that as well as the fact that he wasn't hovering around her before getting pregnant, egging her on to suffer so he could be born. It was an unreasonable emotional burden, more like emotional blackmail, a debt in perpetuity. He dumped some of that burden, some of the irrationality.

I won't disagree that we owe our parents if they gave us a good, safe, loving and stable childhood, if they really worked for it. But they also owe the children they chose to have to provide that kind of foundation, not only for the well-being of the child who didn't ask to be born, but also to ensure that when they are old they have stable, loving support in return. I'm adopted, it was expensive, I've often felt like my parents considered me a bad investment because I'm not like them and not moldable to become like them, wasn't submissive, docile, and willing (let alone able) to change to suit their wishes and convenience.

I'm so glad I didn't have kids. Parents end up worrying and agonizing, but the kids grow up and stop needing, it seems like the if the parents don't have enough emotional or external resources, they keep wanting and wanting. For most, it seems their identities are much more attached to being parents than to being someone's child, and they keep wanting the children to support and feed into that self-identity. Poor countries have different issues, they have kids because they don't have birth control, or for the free labor. I don't think in any culture there hasn't been a resentful struggle between parents and children, or an abundance of parents who respect the boundaries and autonomy of their children. TL;DR it's all fucked. Humanity is fucked. Being social animals is fucked. It's just neverending struggle. We're hardwired to seek autonomous self-determination, yet rarely can anyone achieve it. I'm so pissed at evolution, and this is one of the subjects I'm pissed about.

 

[Nymph]

I love how you held on to your rationality and didn't take on ownership of her choice to have a child, the twelve hour labor, or the physical trauma from it.

She made you out of love. Okay. But she made an autonomous person, not a possession.

I had a friend who was burdened by the belief of what he continually owed his mother thirty years after the finite twelve hours of labor, and reminded him of that as well as the fact that he wasn't hovering around her before getting pregnant, egging her on to suffer so he could be born. It was an unreasonable emotional burden, more like emotional blackmail, a debt in perpetuity. He dumped some of that burden, some of the irrationality.

I won't disagree that we owe our parents if they gave us a good, safe, loving and stable childhood, if they really worked for it. But they also owe the children they chose to have to provide that kind of foundation, not only for the well-being of the child who didn't ask to be born, but also to ensure that when they are old they have stable, loving support in return. I'm adopted, it was expensive, I've often felt like my parents considered me a bad investment because I'm not like them and not moldable to become like them, wasn't submissive, docile, and willing (let alone able) to change to suit their wishes and convenience.

I'm so glad I didn't have kids. Parents end up worrying and agonizing, but the kids grow up and stop needing, it seems like the if the parents don't have enough emotional or external resources, they keep wanting and wanting. For most, it seems their identities are much more attached to being parents than to being someone's child, and they keep wanting the children to support and feed into that self-identity. Poor countries have different issues, they have kids because they don't have birth control, or for the free labor. I don't think in any culture there hasn't been a resentful struggle between parents and children, or an abundance of parents who respect the boundaries and autonomy of their children. TL;DR it's all fucked. Humanity is fucked. Being social animals is fucked. It's just neverending struggle. We're hardwired to seek autonomous self-determination, yet rarely can anyone achieve it. I'm so pissed at evolution, and this is one of the subjects I'm pissed about.

Couldn't agree more.