Hoping to finish all this soon

[OTanerd]

It saddens me to know that the people here are here because life has treated them unfairly—they had bad luck and ended up as victims of circumstances beyond their control.

The truth is, I feel like a terrible person who deserves to be in hell, and I can't wait for all of this to end. But at the same time, I feel like I lack the perseverance to plan things properly to ctb. I don't know if it's laziness, but I don't even have the energy to get out of bed.

Remorse constantly eats away at me—I hate being me. I hate having been born as myself. I hate how I've treated many of my friends and my parents. I feel like I can't disappoint my social circle any more than I already have because I'm at the lowest point of disappointment.

I don't even like how I'm writing this because I feel like I sound immature, just as a friend once told me.

Unlike many here, I had it all: loving parents, people who loved me. Maybe I did experience some traumatic situations, but I feel like anyone else could get over it. I lost everything, I can't lose anything else.

I truly hope that everyone else on this platform finds the peace they need and manages to overcome their depression.

 

[Loaf of bread]

I have thought this too. Some people are here from bad mistakes and stuff, some are here from circumstances out of their control. Most are probably some mix of both.

However either way the end result is the same, I suppose. Both are unfortunate and tragic and result in horrible suffering.

 

[J&L383]

I agree. Each of us have our own unique circumstances, just like snowflakes no two are the same. There will only ever be one you, ever be one me. Peace will come to all of us in some way.

 

[Overwhelmed52]

I can't wait for this to end, either. Every time I go to sleep I wish I won't wake up. Even though there are times I feel okay, the times I feel bad are so, so bad that not being here would be a relief. I just don't like my options for CTB; I've tried a couple of things by SI kicks in. I wish I could get N or some pills that would guarantee me a peaceful end. Ironically, it would probably ease my desire to CTB if I knew I had a reliable method when I needed it.
I've had all the feelings you're having and I don't think you sound immature at all. I wish I could go back and undo a lot of things. I did recently reach out to someone and apologized and it went better than expected, so there's that.

Thank you for your post.