SpinTop555
Member
- Nov 16, 2020
- 70
I am really bad at writing stuff. I can't talk to anyone in real life. They don't understand. My family isn't a family at all. We're all just people related by DNA. I have been betrayed by everyone I thought would be there for me. The only person who is there for is a massive source of pain, and she makes me feel crazy. She's my mother. But I don't feel any connection to her. I don't feel any connection to anyone. Not even my daughter. How fucked up is that. It's fucked up. I'm fucked up. Always have been always will be. I don't want to fuck my daughter up but I truly feel she is better off with her dad. And I just want to die. I know there's no getting better. Not for me. I can't change. I'm trapped in pain with no way out. If anyone says they care, I don't believe them. And what good is it now. When it's too late. I just want to leave this nightmare. No one fucking cares. Daughter is better off without me. Why must I live in unbearable pain for years or decades? I know I should never have become a mother. I didn't foresee the future though. I thought we would be together for life. But I have no one. I have physical issues, but nothing compared to the pain in my heart. Nothing compares to being betrayed and left alone in your darkest days.