Discussion Hopefully my Last Day

[IHurtTheOneILove]

So I think I've made up my mind. I'm hanging out with some friends today and I'm treating it like a psuedo goodbye day. I feel kinda bad bcus I have a potluck I'm supposed to go to tommorow but we'll see. I'm planning on getting some weed from my friends to help with the SI when I try to hang myself again. I'm talking this big talk now but I fear I'm gonna pussy out when everythings ready. I'm just absolutely miserable when I'm alone and I dont think I have the will to see any of this pan out. I'll post later tonight if I do actually go through with plans.

I have a note for everyone and a voice memo on my phone for my ex. This will likely traumatize them for life which I feel guilty about but idk how else to right my wrongs besides killing myself. I tried explaining that none of this is their fault but it most likely won't be enough. Thank you guys for all the advice on my situation. I know a lot of ppl said not to CTB over this but womp womp, my mistake deserves this outcome. Cheating is something I never imagined being capable of and now that it happened I know for a fact no one will ever love me again.

A life of solitude (at least to me) isnt a life worth living. See yall later tonight.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you the best of luck with your plans, I hope that you find freedom from all the suffering.

 

[aquasaltstripes]

Wish you way more than luck.

 

[offtoseethewizard]

Mate please reconsider. This really is a silly reason to throw your life away. I know you're in pain right now but just try some things before you make a decision you can't take back.

Move away. Have some fun!

I have permanent numbness in one arm from a failed hanging attempt btw.

 

[IHurtTheOneILove]

Mate please reconsider. This really is a silly reason to throw your life away. I know you're in pain right now but just try some things before you make a decision you can't take back.

Move away. Have some fun!

I have permanent numbness in one arm from a failed hanging attempt btw.

Idk bcus even if i do move away and have fun I will never see my ex again. And that's what i want so bad. Like existence without them is pain and I know it's gonna be near impossible to find a love like theirs again. Like it was my first relationship but idk I know it wont get better than that. Even if i wanted to try and move on A) no one would want me B) I'd only be trying to fill the hole of my ex in my heart

 

[offtoseethewizard]

Idk bcus even if i do move away and have fun I will never see my ex again. And that's what i want so bad. Like existence without them is pain and I know it's gonna be near impossible to find a love like theirs again. Like it was my first relationship but idk I know it wont get better than that. Even if i wanted to try and move on A) no one would want me B) I'd only be trying to fill the hole of my ex in my heart

Mate with all the kindness in the world - when you're young, you think that. That sort of thinking is what got me into my current state. Short-term thinking, assuming that what you feel right now is what you'll always feel, and that there's nothing better for you out there.

But it's a trick the young mind plays.

It's the same reason young people are more likely to want to go to war for 'an adventure' and get themselves killed.

Give it a year. Heck, give it 3 months. 3 months is the time it takes for heartbreak to ease in my experience.

Give yourself some time. You owe yourself that. Your life is all you have. Give yourself a chance to live it. Your first love/second love/third love being all there is is complete rubbish. There are millions of girls out there. Literally unending amounts with apps.

 

[SVEN]

Every good wish for finding peace and rest. Only you truly know your feelings and position. I'd love to ask you to pause and consider, however I appreciate you already have.
Please do be kind to yourself and know we all wish you well.