Hopefully going to commit suicide by Sunday evening

[3FormsofUnhappiness]

I've been trying to commit suicide with my limited resources, but I decided I will end it with something simple. I'll try to commit suicide from a tall height, I'm unsure if I care about it being physically painful or not. Though I am curious and I would like to know from anyone who tried suicide from height and what is your experience?

If I do it now people will find me quickly and there might be a chance I'd still be alive, and I'm avoiding this chance all I can - which is why I'm doing it on a Sunday evening (I don't want to explain how come). I was drunk speaking with a acquaintance that is the closest I have to a friend, he was someone indifferent to a lot of things and despite how somewhat gross he is I did love and care for him because he was the closest I had to a friend - but tenderness is difficult to embrace. I'm already dead to him, due to my drunkeness I think I spat out all there is about the life I lived. He had some remarks, it provoked me to have this choice as well and actually I'm quite a bit thankful for it. My family tried to help me and get the help I never had when I needed it when I was a child, they really tried but I genuinely don't want to be helped anymore - its so tiring to just live and be burdened with responsibility and memories that can never leave me alone. I'm having my exams soon, but I'm not planning to take them.

This might be a thread with updates or interacting with people who answer the question I asked leading to tomorrow following under this, I felt connected with others even if I lurked here. I'm so tired, thats all I have to say.

(Sorry my English is bad, its my first language but I feel like I'm not using it correctly tonight)

 

[Larysa]

I'm glad you feel some connection here. It's awful to be alone. I am too.

I know I could never jump, so I'm sorry I can't help with your question.

(Your English is excellent, despite your state of mind.)

 

[nicotine_goblin]

I'm sorry it has come to this for you, good luck and I hope you go as peacefully as possible

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you the best of luck with your plans, I hope that when the time is right for you to leave you find the freedom you are searching for.

 

[3FormsofUnhappiness]

Thank you everyone for your kind wishes, now that I'm thinking about it I'm also wondering and do have another question: how do you prepare for death?

 

[Larysa]

Thank you everyone for your kind wishes, now that I'm thinking about it I'm also wondering and do have another question: how do you prepare for death?

I guess that's a huge question. It may be worth starting a new thread for that?

 

[3FormsofUnhappiness]

I chickened out... I really don't want to be paralyzed or be going through physical therapy or break something major and still be living. I like the thought of falling from a height but it feels too risky. Maybe I'll try another option for now--. For reference the height I was going to fall from would be 7 meters which might not be much this was the highest i can access, I was desperate really really desperate at the time I wrote this but I really don't want to go to the hospital.

I guess that's a huge question. It may be worth starting a new thread for that?

Perhaps I will - thank you

 

[nicotine_goblin]

I chickened out... I really don't want to be paralyzed or be going through physical therapy or break something major and still be living. I like the thought of falling from a height but it feels too risky. Maybe I'll try another option for now--. For reference the height I was going to fall from would be 7 meters which might not be much this was the highest i can access, I was desperate really really desperate at the time I wrote this but I really don't want to go to the hospital.

Perhaps I will - thank you

No shame in that, it's understandable. And I think 7 meters wouldn't be enough either way so good call on that. I don't know much about falls but I think it's worth to look into other methods

 

[Larysa]

I'm really glad you didn't risk awful injury like that, @3FormsofUnhappiness.