Hope something horrific happens to me soon

[Pryras]

Things have been rough as of late. I'm scared of coming off of "pause" because I don't want to make any decisions. Wether it be CTB peacefully or reliving trauma in attempt to recover.

Truly the only way I "move on" from something traumatic is when something new happens to take it's place. When something equally if not worse happens to me, I immediately block out old memories and focus on the current one.

I'm turning 23 soon and have been suffering since I was 16 but I got through it with time. I feel like I can manage a different trauma than the one I'm dealing with now, it's unbearable but definitely considered "trivial" compared to what I have been through in the past.

 

[4eyebiped]

I hope something wonderful happens to you soon. I understand your point but I had to toss a little positivity in there. But, I realize that positive things, for most of us here, seem more like fairy tales than realities.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Sounds like you developed a maladaptive coping skill.

There are other ways that don't involve reliving trauma in order to heal it, since that retraumatizes.

 

[Fedrea]

Truly the only way I "move on" from something traumatic is when something new happens to take it's place. When something equally if not worse happens to me, I immediately block out old memories and focus on the current one.

I'm turning 23 soon and have been suffering since I was 16 but I got through it with time. I feel like I can manage a different trauma than the one I'm dealing with now, it's unbearable but definitely considered "trivial" compared to what I have been through in the past.

I could've written this post apart from being in my 30s. I've dealt with some bad traumas and the latest one is considered more trivial but affecting me the most. My friend said When you're traumatised the trauma just moves from one event to another

What kind of therapy if any have you had?

 

[Pryras]

I could've written this post apart from being in my 30s. I've dealt with some bad traumas and the latest one is considered more trivial but affecting me the most. My friend said When you're traumatised the trauma just moves from one event to another

What kind of therapy if any have you had?

I tried cognitive behavioural therapy for a few years, my therapist is actually pretty great it's just my mind being difficult. I've noticed that time doesn't heal things for me and often makes it worse. I had a lot happen within a short time frame and surprisingly the one that's hurting the most would be considered the "least dramatic"...at least to an onlooker.

I agree with your friend there, and think it's just a matter of how emotionally attached we are about something. I miscarried, it was fucking tramatic but the horror didn't stay. Later, I was assaulted by my closest friend and had a really hard time comprehending the fallout.

Sounds like you developed a maladaptive coping skill.

There are other ways that don't involve reliving trauma in order to heal it, since that retraumatizes.

Definitely, I wish I wasn't so stubborn to invest in my recovery. Still working on finding value in myself. I have better days but today was rough.