Venting Hope is funny

[Nephis]

Humans are really funny and interesting when it comes to how quickly we can change, I've changed, I feel different this year more so than I felt at any other point in my life.

Just last year, I was having fun being happy with friends and my SO, playing games enjoying life however bleak it was due to the world still being terrible but at least having people to share in it together.

But this year after something terrible happened that will due to various reasons here in America will effectively ruin my life and cause me to be a detriment to those around to the point just me trying to live a happy life after this would cost a lot of money...For a while after it happened I cried alone, got mad at the world and America, gave myself so many delusions believing that in the end it will all be fine...But in the end it's clear that they were just that delusions, and finally I went absolutely crazy...And now? Everything is still, peaceful, happy that I decided that I will die.

I hope I die

I hope that maybe through some strange means no matter how crazy and insane it may be to be reborn and be happy in the next life and not make the same mistakes

I hope that my death is quick and peaceful.

hope is a delusion, and I'm really addicted to it, in the end...Why not? who says I can't make it happen? why couldn't I? In the end I'm already insane and will die, I have nothing to lose. So please hope for me too, let's share in the insanity together.

 

[FuneralCry]

I find it dreadful how existing here can very easily get much worse but anyway I hope that you find what you are searching for, to leave this world peacefully certainly would be so incredibly ideal to me.

 

[Nephis]

I find it dreadful how existing here can very easily get much worse but anyway I hope that you find what you are searching for, to leave this world peacefully certainly would be so incredibly ideal to me.

I hope for you a peaceful send off

 

[todiefor]

I'm really sorry about your experience, sounds like something really awful happened suddenly and it has killed all your hope and happiness. Hope is really terrible when there is no hope, think it especially lingers when something sudden happens and you don't want to believe it's real. I hate that I'm always a closer optimistic, outwardly I'm cautious in displaying hope but inside I always hold onto a little, and it always leads me no where's and then I feel stupid for having had any hope. Life is cruel, hope is cruel. Hope makes you feel like you haven't hit rock bottom yet when you probably have a long time ago

 

[Nephis]

@todiefor I'm really sorry about your experience, sounds like something really awful happened suddenly and it has killed all your hope and happiness. Hope is really terrible when there is no hope, think it especially lingers when something sudden happens and you don't want to believe it's real. I hate that I'm always a closer optimistic, outwardly I'm cautious in displaying hope but inside I always hold onto a little, and it always leads me no where's and then I feel stupid for having had any hope. Life is cruel, hope is cruel. Hope makes you feel like you haven't hit rock bottom yet when you probably have a long time ago

Indeed it is, Hope is insanity, hope is a disease, hope is a drug, and yet I want to OD on it

 

[MrDarkness]

Hope is a gift, but also curse. It's a sad cycle of life, sad fact of life. I hate it

 

[Nephis]

Hope is a gift, but also curse. It's a sad cycle of life, sad fact of life. I hate it

And yet we always want it, I know I do, hopefully I die before I truly go insane

 

[MrDarkness]

And yet we always want it, I know I do, hopefully I die before I truly go insane

I know, I want hope, but I can only hope so much lol

 

[Nephis]

I know, I want hope, but I can only hope so much lol

I will hope for you as well, it's all I have left to offer

 

[shantyizlit]

I think hope is a double edged sword. It's a driving force for most. At one point you're hoping for all the things that you might get in the future. Love, career and/or family.. maybe material things.
But once you start hoping you could be dead is when it takes a turn for the worse. Suddenly you catch yourself hoping you'd die in your sleep, hoping you could get Nembutal and/or hoping all this could just be over with in an instant.. with ease.
I don't think we will ever stop hoping as long as we are alive. It's an insatiable feeling that only wants more and more. Once you have what you hoped for earlier, you will hope for more.
It is only the hope for death that truly makes any sense, because in that the constant yearning stops.