Honestly when was the last time you had a full blown conversation with a complete stranger?

[Circles]

And I'm not meaning online whatsoever. It's just finally hitting me lately that I've hadn't talked to and I mean actually talk to another person in real life besides my own family in years probably over a decade by now. I don't know what to feel. Lost, disgusted and ashamed with myself, I hate how I've gotten this bad and gone this long and I wonder why I'm so fucked whenever it comes to human relationships. Hell I make it sound like some biological terminology or something cause I've I don't know what it's like. Nothing ever goes beyond a simple hey or a hello for me. I'm at a point where I'm honestly thinking of asking a random person how their day is going or how they're doing just off the bat just so I can talk to someone. And you know what's comical I want to relearn French again but who the fuck am I going to talk to it with? I went to a bar recently for the first time and at first I was quiet as usual but they started a trivia game and people got into groups and I got into one and for once in years more than one person was interacting with me but we didn't talked much that wasn't related to the trivia game. But the game ended and people didn't want anything else do with me so I just left. I had to go to a fucking bar of all places just to feel a human connection for once. I just wonder is there any hope for someone like me? Probably not.

So how long has it been for you?

 

[Arrow]

Must've been a few years ago in my last year of high-school. Those were the last irl friends I ever made.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

It's not just you, we're living virtual lives now. I was struck by this when I watched a movie from the early 2000's the other day. People were doing things outside, socializing in the fresh air and just generally being out and about. It seemed really odd to me somehow, and then it occurred to me how we just don't have much of a real world anymore.

Others really lack social skills too, it's not even a you thing. We're all kind of becoming zombies it seems like.

 

[Circles]

It's not just you, we're living virtual lives now. I was struck by this when I watched a movie from the early 2000's the other day. People were doing things outside, socializing in the fresh air and just generally being out and about. It seemed really odd to me somehow, and then it occurred to me how we just don't have much of a real world anymore.

Others really lack social skills too, it's not even a you thing. We're all kind of becoming zombies it seems like.

I get that, but with me being disabled it's just even if things could change I'd still be fucked somehow. I don't know, but thanks for the input.

 

[OrcWitch]

I think in 2015 when some old lady told me about growing up in the 1930s and 40s. I usually get pissed off when complete strangers try to talk to me but I have a soft spot for old women.

 

[lostautist]

Maybe 5 or 6 months ago, I went to my local gas station, it was night and pretty cold. Some young adult looking lost, disheveled, distressed and who I assumed was homeless... I expected him to ask for some money, and I almost always have a few bucks stashed in my car to offer when someone who asks looks like they really need it... I walked by him on the way to go inside. Of course he started the convo, told me how he got kicked out of his place, betrayed by his friends, lost everything, and took him all day to walk from one area to the place I saw him and asked for a ride. I told him it wouldn't be a problem. Went inside, got my coffee. I sometimes chit-chat with the guy that worked there and he asked if I was going to give him a ride, and I said, of course. So I gave the kid a ride and we talked during the 20 minute ride to his relative's house. He just seemed to have been thrust into a bad situation, wasn't a drug addict or alcoholic and seemed pretty nice. He was very appreciative and I hope things are working out for him.

I'm an attentive listener and people tend to realize that pretty quickly, so I sometimes get into short discussions with random people every once in a while.

 

[FuneralCry]

I do not even know, probably many years. I struggle with conversations, talking to people is very tiring. I need to isolate myself from others.

 

[- crybaby -]

I used to work as a bartender at an neighborhood bar.Nothing fancy ,mostly old people and workers coming to get their fix.
I saw customers strike conversations for hours so easyly you could've sworn they knew eachother for years but mostly they were strangers .
I was mostly a listener when I got caught up in different converstions .

 

[LastFlowers]

I used to work as a bartender at an neighborhood bar.Nothing fancy ,mostly old people and workers coming to get their fix.
I saw customers strike conversations for hours so easyly you could've sworn they knew eachother for years but mostly they were strangers .
I was mostly a listener when I got caught up in different converstions .

I'm surprised you were able to avoid actively speaking while constantly being reeled into conversations as the bartender (it's a job I would avoid for that very reason).

 

[- crybaby -]

I'm surprised you were able to avoid actively speaking while constantly being reeled into conversations as the bartender (it's a job I would avoid for that very reason).

Well it was an small bar/pub(?) , mostly old men just wanted to feel heard or just rant about random things going on in their lives ,rarely even expecting an answear ,just a mere nod or acknowledge of their words .
I did had interesting convos here and there ,I didn't really had a social life outside of work so I got my" minimum" social interactions over there .

 

[stilldreaming]

I'm incredibly approachable, so for me it was quite recently, many times this year despite covid. I sometimes can't help myself either falling into conversation with people, eg had to make a phone call yesterday for my mother and her health insurance and I couldn't wait until the end to ask him where his accent was from - Long Island, should've known better! Had a very nice chat about New England and mutual things we knew.

When I was younger I loved so much chatting with strangers. Each one was like a puzzle. Eventually, it felt like that puzzle (of human nature) was starting to be solved. This probably sounds a bit arrogant, but well myself included, no one's too unique you know? I can still enjoy a random conversation but mostly there's increasing horror as I can see the person will want to exchange contact information. I've never been good at the follow-up, only one person in my life it's never been a chore to stay in contact with.

So yeah, due to social anxiety I am worse than ever at breaking off conversations before they go too deep, though I am sorry to say I wish I did. That said, I think chatting with strangers is great and my friends have always said I have the best stories. Before I moved from the US a friend would call me every few months and I would automatically start reciting all the ahem characters I'd encountered and eventually he confessed he called just to hear these stories. Wish I'd written them down, there were just so many countless good ones, even in the past couple years. My memory's evaporated so I can only remember a few that stand out now. Like the retired border agent I met in the park who after a couple hours of wandering about admitted to being slightly buzzed (brownie) and wanting me to meet his son to "secure your genes". He also at one point took off his backpack and removed from it an eyeless dog. ("Oh, I nearly forgot! Hey, check this out! You'll get a kick out of it!!") He also had two children's books available on Amazon, I later found them online though can't remember his name anymore. In his picture for his books, he looked like Hulk Hogan.

I fully understand why a lot of people don't like chatting with strangers. It's not for everyone, but can be pretty entertaining I suppose.

 

[lostautist]

When I was younger I loved so much chatting with strangers. Each one was like a puzzle. Eventually, it felt like that puzzle (of human nature) was starting to be solved. This probably sounds a bit arrogant, but well myself included, no one's too unique you know? I can still enjoy a random conversation but mostly there's increasing horror as I can see the person will want to exchange contact information. I've never been good at the follow-up, only one person in my life it's never been a chore to stay in contact with.

I'm similarly jaded, but I still enjoy those random conversations. It just sucks when it leads to something tedious and you're fully aware of it descending like that. It's not so much a chore for me to talk to those I should stay in contact with, I'm just horrible reaching out and staying in contact, but I know people that make me feel that way too.

 

[stilldreaming]

I'm similarly jaded, but I still enjoy those random conversations. It just sucks when it leads to something tedious and you're fully aware of it descending like that. It's not so much a chore for me to talk to those I should stay in contact with, I'm just horrible reaching out and staying in contact, but I know people that make me feel that way too.

Yes, and I don't mean to say I'm brilliant conversation partner either, I'm sure I'm tedious to a fair few people out there as well. And, I do wish them the best, always, and am touched they're so interested in talking to me as that's kind of them.

Emails, messages, texts, I just can't be bothered with them, they always just end up stressing me out. It's always the same thing: I don't respond immediately, then I start to feel guilty about not responding and suddenly a few days / weeks / months have passed and I don't know what to say except sorry I'll do better next time! And then inevitably: oh ha ha sorry I'll do better next time, I swear! :(

I have so many emails and messages I should be responding to :( I know many people would say that's a good problem to have but it just stresses me out and I feel terrible and flakey :(

 

[lostautist]

Yes, and I don't mean to say I'm brilliant conversation partner either, I'm sure I'm tedious to a fair few people out there as well. And, I do wish them the best, always, and am touched they're so interested in talking to me as that's kind of them.

Emails, messages, texts, I just can't be bothered with them, they always just end up stressing me out. It's always the same thing: I don't respond immediately, then I start to feel guilty about not responding and suddenly a few days / weeks / months have passed and I don't know what to say except sorry I'll do better next time! And then inevitably: oh ha ha sorry I'll do better next time, I swear! :(

I have so many emails and messages I should be responding to :( I know many people would say that's a good problem to have but it just stresses me out and I feel terrible and flakey :(

Yeah, I'm not a brilliant conversationalist, but like I mentioned earlier, I'm an attentive and engaged listener, and those who like to talk are sometimes magically drawn into this. I've been told this a number of times in the past and I see it as it's happening. I'm basically paying respect to those that would wish to talk with me, showing the same respect I'd choose others to treat me with. I'm sure you understand that as well.

Hahaha... can't be bothered. I do get anxiety when texted, I hate wasting time when a one minute call can knock out 30 minutes of texting. I just respond with 'you know I'm bad with texting and won't grab my phone unless absolutely necessary, so call if you want an immediate response.' I tell that to people once. Most people who contact me know this. I can take up to a few days to respond to a text and often get the 'you're ignoring me' backlash, when it's really just me hating texting.

No, that's just anxiety piling up and no matter if you answer or not, more will pile up, so not responding actually prevents it from getting worse. It does make me feel a little bad, but that's emotional blackmail to me, so I just continue being me. If you can accept it, that's great, if not then you probably aren't really a friend.

 

[Luchs]

The last time I had a long, actual conversation with a stranger was two months ago with a new coworker on a lengthy bus ride.

 

[demuic]

My first or second year of high school.

 

[Sherri]

When I used to go clubbing, I used to have these long drunk conversations with taxi drivers, they were always so polite and we would engage and political, religion and so many subjects, I find taxi drivers great listeners and talkers. Maybe that was the last time, except when I go shopping but just thank you bye bye. If you try these days to engage a conversation with a stranger they look at you like we are crazy. It's sad what the world has Come to. I blame social media. But here I am , online….

 

[completely-done]

I always have the most conversations with strangers than my friends, strangely. I don't know why stranger want to talk to me more than my friends. I guess I truly don't have any friends...wow