KowakuNaiNeko

KowakuNaiNeko

Member
Aug 5, 2023
66
I got a Beretta 9m and some BJHP ammo and cleaned and oiled it. Now I'm just mulling over some last details. Feel free to chime in.

Do I want to shoot the roof of the mouth, temple, or side of the head? Originally I was leaning on the roof of the mouth but when I think about actually doing it it feels scarier that way to me. Side of the head feels less scary but probably has the worst success rate of the three. Temple is weird because I don't know exactly where to point at and I imagine holding the gun at that angle would be weird. I loaded 10 bullets loaded so in theory I can try again as long as I don't fall unconscious and someone happens to find me and bring me to a hospital with a good brain surgeon.

Do I want to die in- my bed, my shower, a field behind my apartment complex at night

Do I want to be sober, tipsy, or drunk - I do have some good bottles in my apartment but in particular I'm thinking about a bottle of Polish honey vodka (krupnik)

Other than that I'm just debating if I want to leave a note or not and if so what to put down. I have enough rent for the end of the month so my deadline in theory is late december but if I can work up the courage before then I may not wait that long.

Also just to vent for a bit holy shit I can barely operate my handgun. Maybe my muscles atrophied while I rotted at home for so long but everything including pulling the slide back, pulling the lever to disassemble it, or loading ammo are huge chores and take me multiple tries. Idk maybe it's just because it's new but even after oiling it it doesn't seem any better.
 
SomewhatLoved

SomewhatLoved

Bringing out the Dead and Searching for the Living
Apr 12, 2023
145
Do I want to shoot the roof of the mouth, temple, or side of the head?
100% recommend roof of the mouth. Your goal is to hit your brain stem, as this is where all the vital functions like breathing or regulation of basic body functions are controlled. Temple is much more likely to hit your cerebrum and especially the frontal lobe, which if unlucky may not kill you and could leave you with terrible brain damage.
I loaded 10 bullets loaded so in theory I can try again as long as I don't fall unconscious and someone happens to find me and bring me to a hospital with a good brain surgeon.
I think if you shot yourself and it didn't immediately kill you you would probably be so out of it that you would not be able to try again. Who knows if you would even be able to see, depending where the bullet hit. I think with this method you really have to just try for one good shot.
Do I want to die in- my bed, my shower, a field behind my apartment complex at night
These questions are obviously more of a personal preference. I've always thought when I die I want to go somewhere very remote, in hopes that I'm never even found.
Do I want to be sober, tipsy, or drunk
I feel like unless being drunk is part of your method somehow it's best to be sober, as then you are more aware of what's happening and can carry out the method more effectively. However I'm sure being a bit tipsy would be ok.
Other than that I'm just debating if I want to leave a note or not and if so what to put down. I have enough rent for the end of the month so my deadline in theory is late december but if I can work up the courage before the
I plan on leaving a note for my parents because I know it will hurt them when I die. I think if you have family or people who care about you it's good to, even if it's just simply absolving them of guilt. It's your choice though.
 
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asthedayends00

asthedayends00

flyingtourist
Oct 18, 2024
114
Are you familiar with the effects of alc on you? If so and you understand then I definitely recommend drinking and getting a solid buzz before. I agree with above reply.. if you have a family leave a note explaining the decision. It's much better than them not knowing the reason.
 
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KowakuNaiNeko

KowakuNaiNeko

Member
Aug 5, 2023
66
I'm pretty same-y with alcohol so I think tipsy might be nice. Just a bit of liquid courage to push me forward. If I go full drunk maybe racking the slide to chamber a round would be even more difficult.

The thing about roof of the mouth shots is I don't really understand the angle. I imagine shots that go through the roof of the mouth and nose cavity going above the brain stem and shots pointed towards the throat going below the brainstem but I guess I don't really understand where the brainstem sits in the head. Also idk something about it makes me imagine it would hurt even though rationally I think all 3 shot angles would probably hurt or not hurt the exact same amount.
 
N

nembutaldream

Member
Oct 11, 2024
16
Personally if I were choosing firearm as a method I would go with a shotgun with a scattershot ammo. I don't consider pistols reliable BUT if that's your method you're supposed to aim for the brain stem. if you look up stats on firearms and "success" rates though you'll see that shotgun is significantly higher than pistol. so i'd still recommend a shotgun if you can. 9mm is good but if you have to go with pistol why not a .45? just some food for thought; i hope you find what you're looking for regardless
I'm pretty same-y with alcohol so I think tipsy might be nice. Just a bit of liquid courage to push me forward. If I go full drunk maybe racking the slide to chamber a round would be even more difficult.

The thing about roof of the mouth shots is I don't really understand the angle. I imagine shots that go through the roof of the mouth and nose cavity going above the brain stem and shots pointed towards the throat going below the brainstem but I guess I don't really understand where the brainstem sits in the head. Also idk something about it makes me imagine it would hurt even though rationally I think all 3 shot angles would probably hurt or not hurt the exact same amount.
why not chamber and rack before you start consuming alcohol? idk when i conceal carry i always have my guns like that and they don't have external safeties either.
 
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KowakuNaiNeko

KowakuNaiNeko

Member
Aug 5, 2023
66
Personally if I were choosing firearm as a method I would go with a shotgun with a scattershot ammo. I don't consider pistols reliable BUT if that's your method you're supposed to aim for the brain stem. if you look up stats on firearms and "success" rates though you'll see that shotgun is significantly higher than pistol. so i'd still recommend a shotgun if you can. 9mm is good but if you have to go with pistol why not a .45? just some food for thought; i hope you find what you're looking for regardless

why not chamber and rack before you start consuming alcohol? idk when i conceal carry i always have my guns like that and they don't have external safeties either.

Fair points. I know 9m is a weak caliber relatively but it was the only handgun i've ever shot previously and I figured I'd just buy something that I know. Other than that I've shot a mossberg m500 shotgun, a m4/m16, and some bolt action rifle idk. I didn't get the shotgun for 2 reasons - First I felt like it would be incredibly awkward to aim it at yourself and pull the trigger though I guess the aim doesn't need to be that good. Second I don't have a car so I got an uber back from the gunstore with my handgun in my backpack (lol probably against uber TOS but whatever). That would have been incredibly awkward with a shotgun.

Also a bit of a memey bonus reason but I knew 4 people from the military who committed suicide and I'm pretty sure 2 were with beretta handguns.

I guess if I get all the way to the point of pointing it at myself and can't pull the trigger I can try drinking more.
 
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