KowakuNaiNeko
Member
- Aug 5, 2023
- 66
I got a Beretta 9m and some BJHP ammo and cleaned and oiled it. Now I'm just mulling over some last details. Feel free to chime in.
Do I want to shoot the roof of the mouth, temple, or side of the head? Originally I was leaning on the roof of the mouth but when I think about actually doing it it feels scarier that way to me. Side of the head feels less scary but probably has the worst success rate of the three. Temple is weird because I don't know exactly where to point at and I imagine holding the gun at that angle would be weird. I loaded 10 bullets loaded so in theory I can try again as long as I don't fall unconscious and someone happens to find me and bring me to a hospital with a good brain surgeon.
Do I want to die in- my bed, my shower, a field behind my apartment complex at night
Do I want to be sober, tipsy, or drunk - I do have some good bottles in my apartment but in particular I'm thinking about a bottle of Polish honey vodka (krupnik)
Other than that I'm just debating if I want to leave a note or not and if so what to put down. I have enough rent for the end of the month so my deadline in theory is late december but if I can work up the courage before then I may not wait that long.
Also just to vent for a bit holy shit I can barely operate my handgun. Maybe my muscles atrophied while I rotted at home for so long but everything including pulling the slide back, pulling the lever to disassemble it, or loading ammo are huge chores and take me multiple tries. Idk maybe it's just because it's new but even after oiling it it doesn't seem any better.
Do I want to shoot the roof of the mouth, temple, or side of the head? Originally I was leaning on the roof of the mouth but when I think about actually doing it it feels scarier that way to me. Side of the head feels less scary but probably has the worst success rate of the three. Temple is weird because I don't know exactly where to point at and I imagine holding the gun at that angle would be weird. I loaded 10 bullets loaded so in theory I can try again as long as I don't fall unconscious and someone happens to find me and bring me to a hospital with a good brain surgeon.
Do I want to die in- my bed, my shower, a field behind my apartment complex at night
Do I want to be sober, tipsy, or drunk - I do have some good bottles in my apartment but in particular I'm thinking about a bottle of Polish honey vodka (krupnik)
Other than that I'm just debating if I want to leave a note or not and if so what to put down. I have enough rent for the end of the month so my deadline in theory is late december but if I can work up the courage before then I may not wait that long.
Also just to vent for a bit holy shit I can barely operate my handgun. Maybe my muscles atrophied while I rotted at home for so long but everything including pulling the slide back, pulling the lever to disassemble it, or loading ammo are huge chores and take me multiple tries. Idk maybe it's just because it's new but even after oiling it it doesn't seem any better.