Holy shit. my will to live is monstrous.

[BlueThoth]

I tried convincing my subconscious that death is better than being alive but it didn't work.

My will to live is still there. No matter what hell I am experiencing, it will want to make me live until my body starts to break down.

The best thing I can do is not exercise. I'll gain a ton of weight but at this point I don't care anymore. My life is shit and utter garbage.

Anyone else who is passively committing suicide?

 

[dysfunctional]

Yeah started smoking and eating a bunch of garbage. My depression/whatever it is kinda robbed me of my will/ability to excercise so there ya go. Was super active and healthy before, wish I could go back to that.

 

[Schopenhauer]

If you have that much will to live, isn't it worth trying to improve your life? Actively making it worse is always a poor choice. I'm talking from some experience.

 

[Aity4883]

It's part of what makes a human

 

[Zaynaldeen]

Yeah, I keep telling myself I should just die, and then I realise that I actually don't want to. My life is just such a big mess that I lost the will to live, but still want to live for the sake of not dying.

 

[WaitingForTheBus]

There is no shame in having these thoughts. I find that since joining, being involved in the forums is very therapeutic. Doesn't mean for me my that my will to live/die is any stronger than before, just helps sometimes to be typing random shit to strangers that understand why I 'm here. Takes my mind off of where I really want to be and what I would really like to be doing, if you know what I mean.

 

[Retched]

I started eating like crap again. I don't care.

 

[Retched]

Oh and my will to live is just as bad. The survival instinct part and universe intervention moments are annoying. Last night I drove to where I would cbt & another car was there. Sucks. One thing after another is keeping me alive.

 

[WaitingForTheBus]

I started eating like crap again. I don't care.

I wish I could eat like that. I've felt shit for a while but around 4 weeks ago it really nosedived. Went from eating well 3 times a day and working out everyday to literally eating something small (eg: half bowl cereal) every 3 days and never working out. Lost over 12 Kgs in that time, mostly muscle. Last time I weighed this much was probably 25-30 years ago.

 

[naia_]

Oh and my will to live is just as bad. The survival instinct part and universe intervention moments are annoying. Last night I drove to where I would cbt & another car was there. Sucks. One thing after another is keeping me alive.

I'm also having experiences like this. Really annoying. Time and again the most unlikely coincidences spoil my plans. And I really don't wanna be here anymore.

 

[Retched]

I'm also having experiences like this. Really annoying. Time and again the most unlikely coincidences spoil my plans. And I really don't wanna be here anymore.

I feel your pain.

 

[GeorgeEastman]

I eat a very bizarre diet that has wasted me away and likely contributed to a lot of weird mental and physical shit. The routine won't allow me to change it. Going down with whatever ship this is.