Hobby hopping (finding motivation)

[jinx <3]

I'm still in college and I don't currently have a job, so for me the summer is extremely boring. This is exacerbated by the fact that I do not have any well-defined hobbies to keep myself entertained or occupied. I often bounce between hobbies, failing at one and then taking up another right after. This is actually how I live most of my life: trying one thing and then failing and giving up before trying another. This is an unfortunate way of existing in my opinion, forever chasing the one thing that will make me happy. I'd like advice on how to stop chasing hobbies like this, and I'd also like some ideas for things to try (I know, simultaneously asking for help and asking for people to perpetuate my problems, I get it). This pull I have to find something to occupy myself with is the only way in which motivation shows itself in my life. That's why it's so important for me to find something that I enjoy doing that I can keep doing and get better at (as opposed to quitting immediately and then moving on)

tldr help me find my motivation again
also list some hobbies to try

anyway have a good day please <3.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

:)
Bpd?

First maybe find out what "categorie' hobbies you like?
Outdoors? Active? Creative? Expressieve?

 

[jinx <3]

I'm definitely looking for more creative hobbies, sorry I didn't mention that.

I'm curious what you mean when you say bpd btw, wdym?

 

[pollux]

I have the same problem too. Never found a good solution though, sorry. You really just have to force yourself to stick with it; eventually it will become something you do and it will give you joy. At least that's how I rationalize it anyway.
Also, do you like technical hobbies? Electronics is quite easy to get into, parts/components aren't all that expensive, and you can learn a lot of useful/interesting skills in the process.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

I asked if you're suffering from bpd.

I do, I understand a lot of 'us" find it difficult to really find something that can hold our interest in a hobby and " hobbyhop ' a lot.

I've tried so many things.
But eventually found my " peace" in painting and journal making.

Maybe you can try some workshops? Online even of something you think you might like? Some hobbies are very expensive it's good to know and see what a possible new interesting hobby is al about

 

[jinx <3]

I have the same problem too. Never found a good solution though, sorry. You really just have to force yourself to stick with it; eventually it will become something you do and it will give you joy. At least that's how I rationalize it anyway.
Also, do you like technical hobbies? Electronics is quite easy to get into, parts/components aren't all that expensive, and you can learn a lot of useful/interesting skills in the process.

At least someone else gets it, that's all I ask sometimes. I haven't really looked into more technical hobbies, mostly because no one around me really does them. I'll look into it though :).

 

[Lonelyhotcake]

I often bounce between hobbies, failing at one and then taking up another right after. This is actually how I live most of my life: trying one thing and then failing and giving up before trying another.

HOBBY: an activity done regularly in one's leisure time for pleasure.

Don't worry! I know and understand that you want to be "good" at something, but sometimes hobbies are just silly little things to waste our time and that's ok, it doesn't have to be perfect.

I used to think watching movies was useless 'till I learned it was a hobby, I felt so shoked... "But I'm not making anything useful!" well... you are having fun.

 

[jinx <3]

I asked if you're suffering from bpd.

I do, I understand a lot of 'us" find it difficult to really find something that can hold our interest in a hobby and " hobbyhop ' a lot.

I've tried so many things.
But eventually found my " peace" in painting and journal making.

Maybe you can try some workshops? Online even of something you think you might like? Some hobbies are very expensive it's good to know and see what a possible new interesting hobby is al about

I'm not diagnosed but I have my suspicions. That's all they are though, my therapist of over a year disagrees because I don't often show my (usually very strong) emotions.

Workshops seem interesting but I have bad anxiety and I doubt I'll ever actually do one.
Thanks for the advice though.

HOBBY: an activity done regularly in one's leisure time for pleasure.

Don't worry! I know and understand that you want to be "good" at something, but sometimes hobbies are just silly little things to waste our time and that's ok, it doesn't have to be perfect.

I used to think watching movies was useless 'till I learned it was a hobby, I felt so shoked... "But I'm not making anything useful!" well... you are having fun.

Yeah, I definitely forget that part sometimes. Oops lol.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

You can follow a workshop online maybe?

 

[Traveller12724]

Why not join meetup.com, find some interesting activity meetups in your town, attend one of them, and just keep attending weekly. The beautiful thing is that meetup groups are great for introverts because you only meet with people to do an activity together, such as surfing or painting, and the whole thing is centered around the activity therefore eliminating a lot of the awkward small talk, and slowly you get to know people as you attend more, and you can always simply choose to know those people in the context of doing whatever activity together.

 

[cgrtt.brns]

when you say you fail at them what exactly do you mean? bc like someone previously said hobbies arent rly something u can fail at as long as ur enjoying it. if by failing u mean not enjoying then i can relate to that, over the years ive lost the ability to enjoy hobbies i used to love especially creative ones, i suspect due to my medication. my therapist advised me to make a list of all the activities ive ever enjoyed doing or could see myself enjoying (if i were capable of it) and taking a small amount of time each day to pick one and just do it whether i feel motivated or not. i definitely had/sometimes still have the same mentality of if i dont have the motivation i cant do it, but my therapist said most of the time the motivation comes after starting the activity, especially with things like depression, if u wait until ur motivated to do it ull never end up doing it. even if u end up only being able to do it for ten minutes or even if u sit down to do it but still cant get urself to do it, its way better than never trying in the first place. u might sometimes find u can do it for hours without even noticing the time passing, or u might find that after a few minutes uve had enough, whatever happens its not a fail. there are days where i would rather climb into a hole and disappear, but keeping up a routine and making myself accountable for just trying rly does make a difference. i hope this made sense. heres my list of things i made if ur struggling to think of anything: drawing, crochet, lego, photography, sudoku, pc games, reading, helping around the house (chores), baking, walking, painting patches (i have a few clothes ive been wanting to cover in patches for years but i never get round to doing it lol), sitting outside. basically just anything that doesnt involve my phone lol. u can also try to think of values u have in life and what kind of activities could fulfill them, like if u value friendship = asking a friend to hang out for an hour or two or even just asking how their day went, if u value being helpful = asking a friend or family member if u can help them with anything or look for petitions to sign that are about problems u care about, etc. hope this helped, i wish you all the best.

 

[surroundedbydemons]

I can relate in some way.

Have you considered revisiting some of the hobbies you've tried before? I often rotate through a set of hobbies myself and don't stick to just one.

also list some hobbies to try

Give baking (or cooking in general) a try. You can get quite creative with it, either with the recipe or the decoration/presentation part.

 

[TapeMachine]

I've been the same way my whole life. It's the novelty, the newness, that ignites my interest. And once that novelty fades (and it always does), I abandon that hobby/project, and start searching for something else shiny and new to fuel my dopamine machine.

I was finally diagnosed with ADHD two years ago at age 37. Once I researched ADHD, I gained a thorough understanding of why I am the way I am. The "hobby hopping" (as well as job hopping, partner hopping, etc) all makes sense now. But I still hate it and wish I didn't have to be on the constant hunt for novelty...

I'm not trying to say that you have ADHD as well. I just wanted to share my experience. :)

 

[NonameNobody]

I can relate to this a lot. No hobby or interest ever sticks long term. I second the suggestion to look into ADHD. I'm strongly suspecting it myself, and my therapist recommended an evaluation, but I don't have energy for that at the moment.

From what I've learned, hobby hopping is a very common experience in people with ADHD. It also features emotion dysregulation, and is frequently misdiagnosed as BPD in women in particular. Just something to think about.

Now, who says this is a bad thing? Hobbies are meant to be fun, it's not a failure to dabble in one and switch to something else! But if you want to have something to stick to long term, you could try rotating between several different hobbies. So, let's say you are getting bored with your current interest, then instead of finding something entirely new, you can look if there is something you did in the past that appeals to you again. This can prevent activities from becoming stale and boring, but you still build on your past experience and improve by coming back to old hobbies.

Don't fight your brain, find strategies to work with it and leverage your natural tendencies! You probably have a very curious mind and enjoy learning. All those "failures" were not failures, but opportunities to learn something new, about yourself and about the world. That is also very valuable!