I'm legit typing this out right after attempting this because I have nowhere else to talk about this and I'm just so shocked suddenly but here goes:
This was actually my first time attempting partial hanging, I've been messing around with the night night method but found even with an actual ratchet it wasn't effective. For my partial hanging I'm using nothing but a polyester rope, no padding or anything. I have it hanging from my bed, since it's a loft bed it offers the perfect height for a partial hanging and j know it can support my body weight pulling down since, y'know, I sleep on it.
The first time I lowered myself, the rope was positioned slightly below the middle of my throat. The second time, I placed it higher on the neck. Both of these were failed attempts. I felt a lot of pressure in my head and everything suddenly sounded very fuzzy and distant, but I was not passing out at all. I took a little break just kneeling on the floor with the noose loosened before trying again.
The third time, I placed the rope much lower than I had before, but not quite on the base of my neck. I also leaned forward and tilted my head downward more this time. I could instantly tell this was different. I did feel the same pressure and fading noise briefly, but things were moving much quicker this time. I felt an weirdly calm feeling and well and the exact woozy and lightheaded feeling I have gotten when I have passed out in the past. I sort of panicked and took it off. I'm not sure if it was really SI because I don't feel too scared or regretful and I'm about to try again. I think it's moreso excitement as well as shock that it worked at all. I mean I've been suicidal for the majority of my life and this is the closest I've ever gotten. That's why I really wanted to share it here, because it's kind of exciting!!
I'm not sure if I'll CTB tonight, like I said I'm gonna try again tonight but if I take the rope off again who knows. If I don't succeed right now I could just make it a nightly ritual until it works. This attempt didn't really scare me off or encourage me to fully commit, so I don't know I guess.
Thanks for reading my weird rambling!! If you have an questions about what I did if you're struggling with partial hanging lmk, I've done a lot of research and pulled from a lot of different sources when planning this which I think really helped me.
This was actually my first time attempting partial hanging, I've been messing around with the night night method but found even with an actual ratchet it wasn't effective. For my partial hanging I'm using nothing but a polyester rope, no padding or anything. I have it hanging from my bed, since it's a loft bed it offers the perfect height for a partial hanging and j know it can support my body weight pulling down since, y'know, I sleep on it.
The first time I lowered myself, the rope was positioned slightly below the middle of my throat. The second time, I placed it higher on the neck. Both of these were failed attempts. I felt a lot of pressure in my head and everything suddenly sounded very fuzzy and distant, but I was not passing out at all. I took a little break just kneeling on the floor with the noose loosened before trying again.
The third time, I placed the rope much lower than I had before, but not quite on the base of my neck. I also leaned forward and tilted my head downward more this time. I could instantly tell this was different. I did feel the same pressure and fading noise briefly, but things were moving much quicker this time. I felt an weirdly calm feeling and well and the exact woozy and lightheaded feeling I have gotten when I have passed out in the past. I sort of panicked and took it off. I'm not sure if it was really SI because I don't feel too scared or regretful and I'm about to try again. I think it's moreso excitement as well as shock that it worked at all. I mean I've been suicidal for the majority of my life and this is the closest I've ever gotten. That's why I really wanted to share it here, because it's kind of exciting!!
I'm not sure if I'll CTB tonight, like I said I'm gonna try again tonight but if I take the rope off again who knows. If I don't succeed right now I could just make it a nightly ritual until it works. This attempt didn't really scare me off or encourage me to fully commit, so I don't know I guess.
Thanks for reading my weird rambling!! If you have an questions about what I did if you're struggling with partial hanging lmk, I've done a lot of research and pulled from a lot of different sources when planning this which I think really helped me.
