Hiding a suicide attempt: what if it goes wrong?

[wordsonscreen]

I plan to take SN. I dont have AE but I can use benzos + painkillers and get some antacid. What if I fail???

I am sending multiple suicide notes. Timed for about a few hours after I take SN so my body is not just rotting on my bed.
If anyone enters my place, they will see that everything is packed and move out ready. I will need someone to come and remove my belongings etc. So I obv need to send out emails etc.

How do I also plan for potentially failing?????
What happens if I take it and somehow wake up anyway? or am somehow interrupted??
What if I wake up in the hospital and my emails also went out? I am terrified of this.

I CANNOT afford to have a suicide attempt on my records for various legal reasons I cannot list publicly.
Ideas?? How do I make it not look like a suicide- in case I wake up in a hospital bed somehow??

ugh I fucking hate the way the system is set up. Even dying is so difficult.

 

[EmbraceOfTheVoid]

You can't make SN look like a accident, looking like someone from the blue man group would be a dead giveaway.

I panicked last time because I couldn't do it in peace on my own terms and ended up panicking over being unable to cancel my emails until I realized later I backed up my passwords on a protonmail email, lol. I'd give yourself a wider berth than a few hours though if you change your mind or fail.

The only methods I could think of at the top of my head that could look like a accident would be a fall or drowning.

 

[wordsonscreen]

You can't make SN look like a accident, looking like someone from the blue man group would be a dead giveaway.

ugh fuck. fine fine. what about.... oh hi sorry i accidentally ate something and turned blue. idk what it was. no?????

I panicked last time because I couldn't do it in peace on my own terms and ended up panicking over being unable to cancel my emails until I realized later I backed up my passwords on a protonmail email, lol. I'd give yourself a wider berth than a few hours though if you change your mind or fail.

How much time??

The only methods I could think of at the top of my head that could look like a accident would be a fall or drowning.

hm... nah I want SN. poison is more my vibe plus I have the perfect red lipstick to go with the blue skin lmao haha I picked a whole outfit around this.

 

[cease]

hm... nah I want SN. poison is more my vibe plus I have the perfect red lipstick to go with the blue skin lmao haha I picked a whole outfit around this.

Legitimately cackled. Thanks for that XD

 

[booray]

ugh fuck. fine fine. what about.... oh hi sorry i accidentally ate something and turned blue. idk what it was. no?????

How much time??

hm... nah I want SN. poison is more my vibe plus I have the perfect red lipstick to go with the blue skin lmao haha I picked a whole outfit around this.

Makes me think of "Violet, you're turning violet!"

 

[blahblahhh]

I share your fears deeply, @sunbug. I think the allowance of prolonged time will certainly ease things!

I share your fears deeply, @sunbug. I think the allowance of prolonged time will certainly ease things!

What time of day are you planning to go? I'm personally giving myself around 12 hours.

 

[wordsonscreen]

I share your fears deeply, @sunbug. I think the allowance of prolonged time will certainly ease things!

What time of day are you planning to go? I'm personally giving myself around 12 hours.

oh wow okay. I wanted to be found and cremated ideally asap. The body starts to decompose pretty quick.... gosh this is gory to discuss. I just think things start to look pretty fucked up after the 3-4 hour point- I just dont wish to expose anyone to that sort of a picture..
But you are correct in that the longer time will ease things.

 

[blahblahhh]

oh wow okay. I wanted to be found and cremated ideally asap. The body starts to decompose pretty quick.... gosh this is gory to discuss. I just think things start to look pretty fucked up after the 3-4 hour point- I just dont wish to expose anyone to that sort of a picture..
But you are correct in that the longer time will ease things.

I'm the same lol. I have like a grooming routine I wanna do before. Might even do a face mask

I'm self-conscious even about my left-behind corpse!

 

[wordsonscreen]

I'm the same lol. I have like a grooming routine I wanna do before. Might even do a face mask

I'm self-conscious even about my left-behind corpse!

hehe we are vain :) welcome to the club. I'm pretty annoyed that life has been so shitty. I've got a good body and sucks that I have to lose it I guess. I was going to do a face mask too haha

 

[booray]

I'm the same lol. I have like a grooming routine I wanna do before. Might even do a face mask

I'm self-conscious even about my left-behind corpse!

I hate to say this, but it's often the case that we empty our bowels and bladder when we die. So, as much as we might like to be in control of the appearance of our corpse, we most likely won't be able to control ordinary bodily functions.

 

[wordsonscreen]

I hate to say this, but it's often the case that we empty our bowels and bladder when we die. So, as much as we might like to be in control of the appearance of our corpse, we most likely won't be able to control ordinary bodily functions.

Oh I know. I'm prepared for that haha

 

[booray]

Oh I know. I'm prepared for that haha

Then I have to ask: adult diaper?

 

[Makko]

Don't let the vanity get in the way of your plan. The plan always comes first. Don't compromise on anything that will maximise your success rate and minimises the impact of failure. Not being 100% pragmatic with these things invites failure.

 

[EmbraceOfTheVoid]

hm... nah I want SN. poison is more my vibe plus I have the perfect red lipstick to go with the blue skin lmao haha I picked a whole outfit around this.

If you're aiming to look like Smurfette then go for it. I gave myself around 12 hours to be able to cancel my emails.

 

[Throwmyselfaway]

If you're aiming to look like Smurfette then go for it. I gave myself around 12 hours to be able to cancel my emails.

This made me snicker. Damn if this was my way I would paint myself blue

 

[Symbiote]

You can't tell the difference when looking at regular water vs SN-laced water. Only difference is slight chemical smell and strong salty taste, but who's gonna dare find out unless the police invite a forensic investigator to the scene. I hid the evidence of my SN usage and drank the entire contents when I went, so when they checked my truck for SN, they couldn't find it. When I had to explain to HR going back to work what happened, I just told them I grabbed the wrong water bottle and drank it because I was so thirsty and that the other bottle contained pesticides for my garden.

 

[wordsonscreen]

You can't tell the difference when looking at regular water vs SN-laced water. Only difference is slight chemical smell and strong salty taste, but who's gonna dare find out unless the police invite a forensic investigator to the scene. I hid the evidence of my SN usage and drank the entire contents when I went, so when they checked my truck for SN, they couldn't find it. When I had to explain to HR going back to work what happened, I just told them I grabbed the wrong water bottle and drank it because I was so thirsty and that the other bottle contained pesticides for my garden.

whoa!!!! This is so good to know. Can you tell me more? How did they find out?

 

[Symbiote]

whoa!!!! This is so good to know. Can you tell me more? How did they find out?

Any substance that causes methemoglobinemia will be prescribed a hefty dose of Methylene Blue. So I guess when they did lab work and realized that my blood looked like Nutella, they knew they were dealing with something unique. A call to the CDC in Georgia for a consultation and then they were fed the treatment protocol. No idea how long time elapsed since I was unresponsive.

 

[wordsonscreen]

Any substance that causes methemoglobinemia will be prescribed a hefty dose of Methylene Blue. So I guess when they did lab work and realized that my blood looked like Nutella, they knew they were dealing with something unique. A call to the CDC in Georgia for a consultation and then they were fed the treatment protocol. No idea how long time elapsed since I was unresponsive.

This makes sense. I understand the Methylene Blue treatment. I mean how did they found you??

 

[Symbiote]

This makes sense. I understand the Methylene Blue treatment. I mean how did they found you??

Whole story on it here: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/survived-my-sn-last-june.52780/

Security guard patrolling the night shift on a night he wasn't supposed to come in found me.

 

[wordsonscreen]

Whole story on it here: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/survived-my-sn-last-june.52780/

Security guard patrolling the night shift on a night he wasn't supposed to come in found me.

Jesus fucking christ. I am so curious about you. Can I ask what brought you here? You have clearly gone through some shit..

Also, 12 fucking hours!! And based on this thread, we can wake up weeks later. So should the letters not be sent out??? for weeks after suicide? Because say someone finds me and they treat me- I might have a shot to say hi I took wrong drink or something and idk what happened. And hide my notes and not make it LOOK like a suicide. But if 20 people have received my suicide note while I am in a hospital in a fucking coma with tubes inside me....... everyone would know it was suicide. I would be stuck.. And I cannot legally have that happen for several reasons. How do I plan this? :(
Help.
Just make sure not to be found for 12 hours or so?

 

[LittleBabyNothing]

i plan one delayed email to police, say 24hrs after, so my body is found, then further delayed emails, day or a week later to family and friends, or written notes to be passed on.

 

[Symbiote]

12 hours to be on the safe side to ensure 100% death. You could shave it down to at least 3-4 hours of not being found to ensure 100% death. I put the figure of 12 because I would hate if the hotel manager broke down the door and caught me in the last moments of my death knell only to save me afterwards.

Recovery depends on how long you've been unconscious. A two week induced coma to protect my heart and brain because the hospital messed up when they administered methylene blue. But for most people it'll be up to a week and then discharge.

If you wanted to leave notes, then you could place them in a safety deposit box at a bank. During probate court, the judge will send investigators to find next of kin and try to find all assets belonging to you including bank accounts and deposit boxes. Once next of kin is notified, they open up the deposit box and find your notes there. It's up to them whether they want to send them out or not.

So when you think you're ready to CTB, you better make damn sure you're ready, otherwise you'll end up with whatever consequences awaits you if you survive. Not every investigator is a dumb ass and they'll figure out it was a suicide attempt or a drug overdose.

 

[wordsonscreen]

i plan one delayed email to police, say 24hrs after, so my body is found, then further delayed emails, day or a week later to family and friends, or written notes to be passed on.

Ah I see! This is good. I was envisioning a shorter timeline for myself. So glad I posted this thread- I could have fucked up big time.

emailing the police- interesting. Yeah, so who is supposed to come get the body?? Do I email my friends to call the police? How???? I didnt know emailing the police directly was an option

 

[Symbiote]

Ah I see! This is good. I was envisioning a shorter timeline for myself. So glad I posted this thread- I could have fucked up big time.

emailing the police- interesting. Yeah, so who is supposed to come get the body?? Do I email my friends to call the police? How???? I didnt know emailing the police directly was an option

If you turn the heater on in your house, your dead body will cause it to smell bad and alert the neighbors. Should happen within a week.

 

[wordsonscreen]

12 hours to be on the safe side to ensure 100% death. You could shave it down to at least 3-4 hours of not being found to ensure 100% death. I put the figure of 12 because I would hate if the hotel manager broke down the door and caught me in the last moments of my death knell only to save me afterwards.

I understand <3

Recovery depends on how long you've been unconscious. A two week induced coma to protect my heart and brain because the hospital messed up when they administered methylene blue. But for most people it'll be up to a week and then discharge.

I see. Yeah I read several reports and it was between 3 days - 2 ish weeks.

If you wanted to leave notes, then you could place them in a safety deposit box at a bank. During probate court, the judge will send investigators to find next of kin and try to find all assets belonging to you including bank accounts and deposit boxes. Once next of kin is notified, they open up the deposit box and find your notes there. It's up to them whether they want to send them out or not.

I see. I think I should do emails- my friends and family are all over the world.

So when you think you're ready to CTB, you better make damn sure you're ready, otherwise you'll end up with whatever consequences awaits you if you survive. Not every investigator is a dumb ass and they'll figure out it was a suicide attempt or a drug overdose.

Fuck. Okay. You're right haha
Can I pm you? You are interesting and I want to learn more about you :)

 

[Symbiote]

Sure, my box is always open.