Story Hi I think.

[atarxiav]

Hi! Well I'm Maxx, and I feel ridiculous posting this because it don't really matter but here I go. I really have a "normal" life, my mom and dad love me, I have great grades and some "friends" but I think I don't care anymore. 4 years ago I started to feel like a fucking piece of shit, I started to go to at the school psychologist but like, he is a piece of shit. I tell he that I think I really dead but I don't understand then why I want to die, because I want to die so hard, but I feel like I'm not alive, like if my organs we're rotting slowly. I'm always in my room, looking at the walls, I only drink water the last 7 days ago, I'm not hungry. I feel so, but really so, fucking bad. I only want to do nothing, only cut myself, my arms and one time I cut my neck, but not very deep, and like my brother take me to the hospital haha. The psychologist, he don't help me, only says "you're young, yo need to now more about life because feel like that is normal, you'll be fine some day." Now I only want to know what method I want to do to kill myself, I feel empty, I feel trash, I only want one person to love me a little, but seems like nobody see nothing in me like me. I think all day, but I cannot think straight, I only think that I want to die, I repeat this so much, I think, I'm sorry, I cannot explain how I feel, it's kinda weird and difficult, but well, thanks you for read this piece of shit and, what method is more effective and painless? I'm sorry too for my English because I speak spanish and I don't know how to speak very well.

 

[JoeFailure]

Hi! Well I'm Maxx, and I feel ridiculous posting this because it don't really matter but here I go. I really have a "normal" life, my mom and dad love me, I have great grades and some "friends" but I think I don't care anymore. 4 years ago I started to feel like a fucking piece of shit, I started to go to at the school psychologist but like, he is a piece of shit. I tell he that I think I really dead but I don't understand then why I want to die, because I want to die so hard, but I feel like I'm not alive, like if my organs we're rotting slowly. I'm always in my room, looking at the walls, I only drink water the last 7 days ago, I'm not hungry. I feel so, but really so, fucking bad. I only want to do nothing, only cut myself, my arms and one time I cut my neck, but not very deep, and like my brother take me to the hospital haha. The psychologist, he don't help me, only says "you're young, yo need to now more about life because feel like that is normal, you'll be fine some day." Now I only want to know what method I want to do to kill myself, I feel empty, I feel trash, I only want one person to love me a little, but seems like nobody see nothing in me like me. I think all day, but I cannot think straight, I only think that I want to die, I repeat this so much, I think, I'm sorry, I cannot explain how I feel, it's kinda weird and difficult, but well, thanks you for read this piece of shit and, what method is more effective and painless? I'm sorry too for my English because I speak spanish and I don't know how to speak very well.

Well the psychologist isn't wrong about you being young. You are. I can't promise you'll be fine one day but you definitely have a chance. Do you have hobbies? Anything you want to go after? Things like exercise can help too.

You said your parents love you. Maybe if you can get out there and have some interests you'll meet some new people.

If I were you I would try to find a passion, that could help you out of the funk.

 

[atarxiav]

Well the psychologist isn't wrong about you being young. You are. I can't promise you'll be fine one day but you definitely have a chance. Do you have hobbies? Anything you want to go after? Things like exercise can help too.

You said your parents love you. Maybe if you can get out there and have some interests you'll meet some new people.

If I were you I would try to find a passion, that could help you out of the funk.

I know I'm young, but I think I know what life is to me, and that makes me sad but I try hard to believe I'll be fine one day, but I'm losing my faith. I try drawing, dancing, going out but nothing is like, interesting. And my parents are always in work so I'm always alone. Of course I try to meet some new people but go out scared me, like I hate go outside. Maybe I try exercises but I'm too lazy hahaha, thanks you anyway

 

[WinterIsComing]

Hi welcome.
Hola, ¿eres de sur América, centro, norte?

 

[atarxiav]

Hi welcome.
Hola, ¿eres de sur América, centro, norte?

Hola! No soy de America, soy de España!

 

[Rex2019]

Hi! Well I'm Maxx, and I feel ridiculous posting this because it don't really matter but here I go. I really have a "normal" life, my mom and dad love me, I have great grades and some "friends" but I think I don't care anymore. 4 years ago I started to feel like a fucking piece of shit, I started to go to at the school psychologist but like, he is a piece of shit. I tell he that I think I really dead but I don't understand then why I want to die, because I want to die so hard, but I feel like I'm not alive, like if my organs we're rotting slowly. I'm always in my room, looking at the walls, I only drink water the last 7 days ago, I'm not hungry. I feel so, but really so, fucking bad. I only want to do nothing, only cut myself, my arms and one time I cut my neck, but not very deep, and like my brother take me to the hospital haha. The psychologist, he don't help me, only says "you're young, yo need to now more about life because feel like that is normal, you'll be fine some day." Now I only want to know what method I want to do to kill myself, I feel empty, I feel trash, I only want one person to love me a little, but seems like nobody see nothing in me like me. I think all day, but I cannot think straight, I only think that I want to die, I repeat this so much, I think, I'm sorry, I cannot explain how I feel, it's kinda weird and difficult, but well, thanks you for read this piece of shit and, what method is more effective and painless? I'm sorry too for my English because I speak spanish and I don't know how to speak very well.

You need to go to some shrink who can give you pills for depression so maybe you can get out of the zone and find some hobbies or something. It's like you are looking at the world through red tinted glasses. So there is no point telling you the world is not red ("You'll be fine"). You can't really believe it since it DOES appear red to you. You know what I mean. But if you get the right pills or CBT(Cognitive behavioral therapy) or something so you can remove the tinted shades, it might help. Don't give up on life without doing everything you can to remove the tinted shades. Especially since the majority of your life is undecided. Your potential is unrestricted-your life could be anything at this point. Don't give it up without a fight.

 

[atarxiav]

You are my neighbor then!

Oh, so, ¿where are you?

 

[WinterIsComing]

España! :D
Maxx hace 4 años que llegaste a ese punto, ¿hay alguna otra razón? Porque cortarse es como que te atacaras por algo o sientes un dolor muy grande.

 

[atarxiav]

España! :D
Maxx hace 4 años que llegaste a ese punto, ¿hay alguna otra razón? Porque cortarse es como que te atacaras por algo o sientes un dolor muy grande.

Bueno, tengo algunas otras varias razones, pero no me apetece mencionarlas porque de verdad me hacen ponerme muy mal. Y en verdad empecé a cortarme para liberar la ansiedad, tristeza y todo eso, hubo un tiempo que me dijeron que me dibujara rayas con bolígrafos para evitar hacerme daño, pero solo fueron 2/3 semanas, no sé si es este el punto por el que preguntaste, soy un poco corto de mente jajaja.

 

[WinterIsComing]

Bueno, tengo algunas otras varias razones, pero no me apetece mencionarlas porque de verdad me hacen ponerme muy mal. Y en verdad empecé a cortarme para liberar la ansiedad, tristeza y todo eso, hubo un tiempo que me dijeron que me dibujara rayas con bolígrafos para evitar hacerme daño, pero solo fueron 2/3 semanas, no sé si es este el punto por el que preguntaste, soy un poco corto de mente jajaja.

Entonces es ¿por un cúmulo de cosas?

 

[atarxiav]

Entonces es ¿por un cúmulo de cosas?

Si, algo así.

 

[atarxiav]

Just left of you!
Izquierda

Shit I forgot the "from" I mean, where are you from hahahah. Or... I don't understand you?

 

[WinterIsComing]

Si, algo así.

Oh bueno, tómalo con calma sea lo que decidas, puedes ver razones de otros usuarios para hacerlo, cómo llegaron a esta situación.
Espero que los consejos de las personas aquí como algo malo. Solo quieren ayudar sin típicas frases auto ayuda.

 

[Fr2]

Hi! Well I'm Maxx, and I feel ridiculous posting this because it don't really matter but here I go. I really have a "normal" life, my mom and dad love me, I have great grades and some "friends" but I think I don't care anymore. 4 years ago I started to feel like a fucking piece of shit, I started to go to at the school psychologist but like, he is a piece of shit. I tell he that I think I really dead but I don't understand then why I want to die, because I want to die so hard, but I feel like I'm not alive, like if my organs we're rotting slowly. I'm always in my room, looking at the walls, I only drink water the last 7 days ago, I'm not hungry. I feel so, but really so, fucking bad. I only want to do nothing, only cut myself, my arms and one time I cut my neck, but not very deep, and like my brother take me to the hospital haha. The psychologist, he don't help me, only says "you're young, yo need to now more about life because feel like that is normal, you'll be fine some day." Now I only want to know what method I want to do to kill myself, I feel empty, I feel trash, I only want one person to love me a little, but seems like nobody see nothing in me like me. I think all day, but I cannot think straight, I only think that I want to die

What happened 4 years ago? Did the switch happen abruptly or so slow that barely defineable?