Venting hey, siri: how 2 explain that it's not worth it

[fantasy_function]

no need 4 a response, jus needed 2 get it out there. i'm scheduled 4 a non-emergency surgery in a month that my parents are putting good money toward. truth be honest, there's no point--surgery's late june and i'm gonna ctb b4 september, but i have no means of explaining this 2 em. "hi ma, no point, i'll be dead 2 months later" doesn't quite cut it. i've tried 2 get out of it several times but nothing's worked. refusing the surgery flat out doesn't work either. even tho it's non-emergency, it'd be pretty helpful--2 a person trying 2 live longer than 3 fucking months--n the only legitimate reason i would have 2 refuse it would be that i don't want 2 increase my quality of life. which i don't, at this point. but again, i can't explain this 2 my parents. i don't want em 2 waste their money on a lost cause but it seems impossible 2 back out, given that i don't have a legitimate excuse 2 give em not 2 go ahead w it. i've already been a burden on em 4 a while, and it's upsetting that i'd be wasting their resources further. they have the financial means 2 cover it without strain, but they work hard 4 their money, whereas i sit on my ass all fucking day being a waste of space. feel real shitty about the whole ordeal. don't see how i can get out of it. i hoped i'd be less money down the drain after graduating college, but i guess not. i just wish i could tell em that it's not worth it

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

refusing the surgery flat out doesn't work either.

That's concerning. It's your body, you're an adult. No means no.

Personally, and you can do with this what you want, I'd go broken record on them. No explanations, no convincing, no justifying, no arguing, no reactions to any response that isn't acceptance of no. Just the broken record: "I decided no. It's not open for discussion."

 

[gnomeboy17]

As @GoodPersonEffed said, you should be able to just refuse it. I don't know where abouts you live, but here in the UK, all non emergency operations are on hold, maybe yours will be too?

Do you mind me asking what the surgery is?

 

[fantasy_function]

That's concerning. It's your body, you're an adult. No means no...I'd go broken record on them. No explanations, no convincing, no justifying, no arguing, no reactions to any response that isn't acceptance of no.

yes n no. my parents are old-school n come from a country with an old-world mindset. it's their belief that it's ok 2 act on behalf of their children n that children shouldn't have much of a say when a decision involving their wellbeing has already been made. i have thought about what u recommended--it would cause issues (constant fighting that goes nowhere n never ends, punishment 4 me, general upset) as i live w em. i want 2 make my last few months w em as best as i can, as they will miss me terribly when i'm gone. typing this out is making me realize that i have 2 choose between upsetting them n having fallouts 4 the last months of my life or wasting their money. i'm not sure what i'm going 2 do w that realization, but thank u 4 making things a bit more clear 4 me

I don't know where abouts you live, but here in the UK, all non emergency operations are on hold, maybe yours will be too?
Do you mind me asking what the surgery is?

the operation is a-go unfortunately, i got the call earlier this morning. it's breast reduction surgery--the heavy mfs give me backaches, neck pain, migraines, the works.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

It would be easier to help with an excuse if we knew what surgery you are going to get like since it´s a none emergency operation you CAN refuse it you just need the right excuse even though as an adult (assuming you are one) I understand that you just can´t upright refuse it to your parents it all depends on your relationship to them even though the people who have said you are an adult so it´s your choice it´s not always so black and white I get that.

But again I don´t know the surgery you are getting but you could refuse it by saying how afraid you are to do it and maybe even find statistic on how 1 in 100.000 die doing this procedure (just an example) or you don´t want anesthesia because you don´t want drugs in your system considering you don´t use drugs, you could also say you are afraid of the anesthesia itself you might come out as paranoid but there are plenty of people who are afraid of these things.

the operation is a-go unfortunately, i got the call earlier this morning. it's breast reduction surgery--the heavy mfs give me backaches, neck pain, migraines, the works.

That shouldn´t be too hard to lie your way out of you could say you have been trying some exercises both physically to strenghten your back and neck and mental excercises that helped with the migraines.

 

[gnomeboy17]

The operation is a-go unfortunately, i got the call earlier this morning. it's breast reduction surgery--the heavy mfs give me backaches, neck pain, migraines, the works.

As a trans guy I can kind of relate to this, perhaps it will increase your quality of life just enough that you can feel able to live. I'd give anything to be able to have chest surgery, and have my parents pay for it. I hope it works out whatever you decide to do, and best wishes on your recovery.

 

[fantasy_function]

It would be easier to help with an excuse if we knew what surgery you are going to get like since it´s a none emergency operation you CAN refuse it you just need the right excuse even though as an adult (assuming you are one) I understand that you just can´t upright refuse it to your parents it all depends on your relationship to them even though the people who have said you are an adult so it´s your choice it´s not always so black and white I get that.

But again I don´t know the surgery you are getting but you could refuse it by saying how afraid you are to do it...

legally, yes, i could just not go, no money spent. but ur right, it's a little more complicated than just that. there's a good amount of fighting n yelling w us n it's gotten so fucking exhausting fighting w people who don't want or care 2 see ur side. after the time n money they put into the surgical process, hearing "ah i'm scared" or just flat-out "no" would be real fight fuel for a while. i just want 2 keep the peace as best as i can, just 2-3 more months. i don't want their last memories of me 2 be us fighting over stupid shit. but i also don't want em 2 throw good money @ a dead person. rock n a hard place

As a trans guy I can kind of relate to this, perhaps it will increase your quality of life just enough that you can feel able to live. I'd give anything to be able to have chest surgery, and have my parents pay for it.

not particularly, but i wish i could give up my surgery in exchange 4 urs, that'd help both of us out. i hope u find access 2 the means 2 feel comfortable in ur body n ur mind alike