hey brits, what's all those hints my autistic ass brain can't read?

[Cauliflour]

I'm specifying nationality cause it would be a bit pointless to learn the politeness features of a country I don't live in.

I dunno much on boundaries like for romance stuff so whenever I'm around a girl I have a crush on, I get really paranoid about what I look like and how I'm acting cause people always talk about others crossing the line but they don't really talk about what they did (I mean, I know the obvious like "don't ask if you wanna shag as your 3rd line of dialogue") and when they do it's almost always in the hetero context of a guy being weird to a girl, and I am a girl so all that "patriarchy stuff" isn't gonna apply to me. What I tend to do is just act like I haven't noticed their presence and just occasionally glance, too scared to speak cause I can't tell if somebody is busy or when is a good time to slide into a conversation so I just spend half an hour hyping myself up to say something like "I like your hat" when they don't seem to be doing anything in that current moment, but then it's like how many times can you compliment someone's fashion sense before they start to think you're a weirdo? How many months can you crush on someone before it's socially unacceptable? Somebody please write out a neat bullet point list so I can avoid more embarrassing situations in the future cause sapphic education is shit and not easy at all, contrary to popular belief.

 

[leloyon]

i have no answers for you but i am bumping this cuz i find this post cute and support your endeavours, godspeed

 

[Cauliflour]

i have no answers for you but i am bumping this cuz i find this post cute and support your endeavours, godspeed

I hate rapists and sexual weirdos with a burning passion. I don't wanna wake up one day to realise I've subconsciously become one.

 

[OzymandiAsh]

I'm a Brit and this thread is confusing

 

[Cauliflour]

I'm a Brit and this thread is confusing

I'm sorry

 

[leftoperish]

Hahahaha now this is more my speed buckle up class I'm about to write a whole bunch of BS and there will be no repeating myself lol
- always be yourself (this should be obvious) you can't cheat your brain in the sense that your body will always betray you and revert back to its natural state of mind even if you are a seasoned actor and can play pretend and people actually notice that so its paramount you are always yourself
- display your worst characters at the beginning to know who really fucks with you for you
- understand that compromises have to be made to make who ever you are with feel comfortable around you. Now this isn't to contradict the first point but it is to tell you that people notice when you go out of a limb to make them happy by doing things they like against your better nature and make it clearly know that you are willing to do things they like to make them happy but there should be a balance which is why making it known is important so they don't get to use to it that they expect it all the time
- always keep it in mind that every weirdo has an accepting weirdo that can tolerate the weirdo they get in you so it's important to speed date a lot (even if its only the spec of people you like so you wouldn't have to settle for less)
- learn detachment because this is very important if you get too used to one crush it'll end up making you too obsessed and that's how you begin to stew in depression when shit hits the fan
- it's actually ok to stop someone mid talk but look into their eyes with out blinking to stop them in their tracks and say everything you want to do to them and also let them know that it's your heart speaking at that point and you just can't help it. The feedback you get from this would let you know who THE ONE is
- nobody is that important to ruin your mood so the more confident you behave with your habit the more attractive you are to them
- dating is a two way thing if you want to shag make it know but don't just spring it out have a conversation and make it steer in that direction cause I'm not sure about everyone else but sex is 80% emotional at least to me so having a conversation where you tell them your sexual desires and actually mean that shit would defo lead to shagging
- be you be free and never be what you wouldn't want to be just to impress somebody
Hope this helps

 

[Cauliflour]

- it's actually ok to stop someone mid talk but look into their eyes with out blinking to stop them in their tracks and say everything you want to do to them and also let them know that it's your heart speaking at that point and you just can't help it. The feedback you get from this would let you know who THE ONE is

What if you can't make eye contact for shit though? I feel weird making eye contact cause I'm doing it forcefully and intentionally and I quickly start tuning out what people are saying cause I'm so focused on staring right into their eyes.

 

[leftoperish]

What if you can't make eye contact for shit though? I feel weird making eye contact cause I'm doing it forcefully and intentionally and I quickly start tuning out what people are saying cause I'm so focused on staring right into their eyes.

I'm also autistic i can't keep eye contact without being shy but really it's easy, I'm a Scorpio so i already have a death stare so it scares people more than anything else but i still do it cause i always say to myself there's really nothing you can do worse than leave which helps me filter who to "love" or just kick it with. It's really just to make you stop and ask me what's on my mind

 

[Jellifiishe]

What if you can't make eye contact for shit though? I feel weird making eye contact cause I'm doing it forcefully and intentionally and I quickly start tuning out what people are saying cause I'm so focused on staring right into their eyes.

I'm *also* autistic and a girl so I might be lying,, but from what I've heard, asking similar questions -- you don't have to make eye contact constantly? Maybe just glancing up, occasionally works. People don't seem to find it too unsettling. I think it's 'creepier' if you're staring right into their soul.

 

[Cauliflour]

I'm *also* autistic and a girl so I might be lying,, but from what I've heard, asking similar questions -- you don't have to make eye contact constantly? Maybe just glancing up, occasionally works. People don't seem to find it too unsettling. I think it's 'creepier' if you're staring right into their soul.

 

[cme-dme]

I can also say that just occasional eye contact is acceptable or just looking vaguely in their direction but not directly at them also works.

 

[WhatCouldHaveBeen32]

Nice hat!
"Oh wow, mine?" *takes down hat*
*While guard is down, stab person with knife*

Mission accomplished. I think that's the british way?? not sure.

I'll tell you my country's way
(Oh, that's a nice hat...)
*steals hat*

Mission accomplished. If you are a newb, you need to start running, like yesterday; if you are a mafia boss, It'll take them at least 1-2 hours before they realize their hat is gone and the hat is out of the country and already traveling to some random Asian country through the 6th person who bought it, yeah they are never seeing that hat ever again :(


This is a joke, I'm not good at these things, sorry.

 

[leftoperish]

I'm *also* autistic and a girl so I might be lying,, but from what I've heard, asking similar questions -- you don't have to make eye contact constantly? Maybe just glancing up, occasionally works. People don't seem to find it too unsettling. I think it's 'creepier' if you're staring right into their soul.

I love this. Now you see how witty we got with Turing eye contact into a joke. A quick glance that makes someone know you're not just listening but also looking into their soul has to make them pause and ask. Someone who cares will, and once they ask you've found a keeper if they find it creeepy they're not the one because even if they find it creepy they ask "why are looking straight into my eyes". Or even if you can't they'll have to ask "you keep looking into my eyes then looking away is there something you want to say" and this is from experience I'm not just making this up. Being your natural autistic self is actually cute to people who show care a user wouldn't even bat an eye and just try to manipulate you. People's response to your quirkiness shows if they are the one or not that's my point its our gift as the autistic we just know this shit
And you students keep forgetting the other rules you're gonna get an F in my class if you don't pay attention. You forgot speed dating to filter out the wolves and you forgot detachment……….must i teach you everything all over again i love my students you asks questions and I'm here to answer

 

[Pluto]

 

[leloyon]

Nice hat!
"Oh wow, mine?" *takes down hat*
*While guard is down, stab person with knife*

Mission accomplished. I think that's the british way?? not sure.

No, no, you nailed it.

I'll tell you my country's way
(Oh, that's a nice hat...)
*steals hat*

 

[Cauliflour]

You forgot speed dating to filter out the wolves and you forgot detachment……….must i teach you everything all over again i love my students you asks questions and I'm here to answer

God I would be so tired at the end of speed dating. Introducing myself is already hard but introducing myself 10 times in an evening might as well be classed as a form of torture.