Hey. I've been lurking for a little while. I'd planned to end it a month ago. A friend of mine needed help in a bad way. They needed a place to stay. They came to me the day before I was supposed to ctb. They broke my heart with their story. I took them in. I was able to lend them some money and help them find an apartment. I helped them move in yesterday and I feel so good. I owed them a favor since they looked out for me so many times when I was down. It was my pleasure to help my friend one last time before I left. I got in contact with some people here who I don't know if they're still here. I'm finally ready to go. My date is set. I'm somewhat sad, because I know those who really like me will be hurt. However, during the time I was helping my friend, I felt like I was living beyond my allotted time on this planet. I felt like life was getting ready to throw me another one of its curveballs. I hate that this life seems to like to do that. Just when you start to feel like you might want to stay, life reminds you why you're going through with your plans. Life validates my suicide by invalidating itself.
I'm very appreciative of this site. As much as my friend opened up to me about his problems, I couldn't tell him my plans. He'd try to stop me. I like this site because its full of people like me. People who are serious and just need other people to talk to about it. I hope this site is a predecessor to actual, physical counselling on suicide. Not to be dissuaded, but a support organization that allows people to talk through it. A place and people who hold your hand while you do what needs to be done to successfully ctb, or at the very least be a listening ear while you decide. This is such a tough process. It's going to take everything I've got to do it. I'm ready though. So, I hope this site continues the good fight, because it is a good one. In my opinion, this world has fallen beyond hope. There's nothing left to hope in. The human has devolved into such a degenerate state that it has reached the point of no return. The powers that be are hell bent on not only making life hell, but keeping as many people in hell as they can. I plan on leaving this before it gets too bad.
I'm not trying to dissuade anyone from hoping in this life. If you have it, that's your right. I, personally, am done with this life. Whether nonexistence or another plane of existence, I'm ready to leave THIS. Much love to all, and good luck in what you are deciding to do.
I'm very appreciative of this site. As much as my friend opened up to me about his problems, I couldn't tell him my plans. He'd try to stop me. I like this site because its full of people like me. People who are serious and just need other people to talk to about it. I hope this site is a predecessor to actual, physical counselling on suicide. Not to be dissuaded, but a support organization that allows people to talk through it. A place and people who hold your hand while you do what needs to be done to successfully ctb, or at the very least be a listening ear while you decide. This is such a tough process. It's going to take everything I've got to do it. I'm ready though. So, I hope this site continues the good fight, because it is a good one. In my opinion, this world has fallen beyond hope. There's nothing left to hope in. The human has devolved into such a degenerate state that it has reached the point of no return. The powers that be are hell bent on not only making life hell, but keeping as many people in hell as they can. I plan on leaving this before it gets too bad.
I'm not trying to dissuade anyone from hoping in this life. If you have it, that's your right. I, personally, am done with this life. Whether nonexistence or another plane of existence, I'm ready to leave THIS. Much love to all, and good luck in what you are deciding to do.
