Story Here comes withdrawal

[W’ren]

So the other day i was having a totally bad day where i couldn't even stay awake for more than a half hour at a time- i was so depressed...

And i totally forgot i had a phone call- a doctor's appointment. Medication renewal. I slept through it... My dr called at 5:34, i woke up at 5:43... she did not call back.

I called the office the next day, explained the mistake- and asked for another appointment- before my meds run out please, especially considering i'm on pain meds that i take daily (i have my meds in weekly dossettes so as not to miss doses) so i know i've taken everything exactly as it should have been taken.

All my prescriptions run out on the 14th. The secretary gives me an appointment for the 19th saying that there are no emerge appointments and that's all she can do.

I have been a patient of this dr for over 20 years and i have never abused pain meds and now i'm being told "too bad/so sad... enjoy your withdrawal from... everything?!"

I understand that i missed the call. This situation is entirely my fault. But... cold turkey off of a decent dose of codeine daily and 4 doses a day of tramacet? Wtf?

This dr will not prescribe pain meds without "seeing" me first. So every month i have to talk to her on the phone since Covid is a thing here.

I have never missed a phone call before. You could tell in her message that she was like, what the hell?

She's a good person- but the secretary wouldn't agree to pass the message along to her of the situation.

That secretary..,,

She said she could put a note in my file and if the dr saw it then she saw it. :(

I ordered SN the other night- i used up money in my account that was meant for something else- i put myself in a worse situation... because i'm so upset and desperate over not knowing what to do or where to turn over this.

Hospitals don't give pain meds. My pharmacy probably won't extend my current prescription.., because those two meds are considered opioids.

My pharmacy can't fax the dr office because the dr office let the pharmacy know lasy month they will no longer do refills that way.

I feel like the room is shrinking and i can't move- can't breathe-
I had an anxiety attack outside while walking the dog trying to make my bf understand that withdrawal is not kind to the person going through it or the people around that person.

I don't want to go through what's coming. I don't want the pain that will arrive with it either.

All this because i am so depressed that i couldn't remember i had a dr appointment, so depressed that i fell asleep on the couch- and because my phone was on vibrate.

My self-hate is huge right now :(

 

[Disappointered]

I have had similar scenarios with my doctor. It is appalling and I can't believe society thinks this is somehow acceptable. You're pretty generous imo when you say your doc is actually a good person. The system docs work in is pretty bad but I did have one many years ago who I could see was aware of that and did things to try to ensure his patients were not fucked over. One. Many years ago. I've seen a bunch. All the others...not good people. Maybe some aren't bad but are just lazy and/or weak in the face of their higher ups. But for the most part...not good people. Your story is frightening. It sounds like a scene from a dystopian novel. Makes me angry. You have every moral right to go and break a law in order to get ahold of something for you pain as far as I'm concerned. We are living in very dark times.

 

[W’ren]

I say she is a good person because she genuinely seems to care about what happens to me.

I really think that if she knew i was trying to get ahold of her she would reciprocate- she'd find a way. She would not want me to go through 5 days of cold turkey withdrawal. I mean, that's dangerous- it's hard on your system. When i say withdrawal i'm not talking a little bit of the shakes- or me just being a bitch... it will be way worse than that. Cutting me down off half the codeine causes me physical sickness- i know because i'm titrating down off the codeine contin now- i'm so scared.

Lately i've been making so many stupid mistakes... :(

I wish i could break a law to get the relief i need- sadly i'm too honest lol. However i live in the land of the maple leaf and some things are legal that aren't legal elsewhere- i was cleared for medical marijuana but could not afford the oil i was prescribed... :(

I'm "financially challenged". Lol. So obtaining SN was a bit difficult for me- and now that it's been ordered i'm going to be tight for the month.

Really, i need the prescription, and the more i try to puzzle my way out of it- the more i back my way into a corner and panic.

 

[whywere]

Are you in the U.S. and if so I would call till they help. That is what I have done and they know that i have had 2 suicide attempts before also.In the U.S. it is now law that any opoid prescription HAS to be sent electronically, no more paper anything period. Walter

 

[GoneGoneGone]

I'm sorry that you missed the call, that you are depressed, and that you are facing withdrawal.

Is there any way you could start slightly decreasing your dosage so that you have at least something to take during those 5 days? I understand that you're already decreasing but...

Alternatively, could you go to the emergency room explaining the situation saying that you're hallucinating for example. I know you said hospitals don't give it out, but they have it available and they are required to treat you.

 

[W’ren]

Are you in the U.S. and if so I would call till they help. That is what I have done and they know that i have had 2 suicide attempts before also.In the U.S. it is now law that any opoid prescription HAS to be sent electronically, no more paper anything period. Walter

Hi
No, I am not in the US, but i do intend on making a pest of myself starting tomorrow- well, today.. in just under 5 hours. (I don't sleep much anymore)
*Hugs* You'd think that with suicide attempts they'd be more likely to react and do something/ but these new secretaries are seriously awful- they have little to no empathy.
My GP knows of my prior attempts- she'd make it work. Not these new ladies.

I'm sorry that you missed the call, that you are depressed, and that you are facing withdrawal.

-Thanks

Is there any way you could start slightly decreasing your dosage so that you have at least something to take during those 5 days? I understand that you're already decreasing but...


- i thought of this- but you're not supposed to break the pills at all.

Alternatively, could you go to the emergency room explaining the situation saying that you're hallucinating for example. I know you said hospitals don't give it out, but they have it available and they are required to treat you
/

-i'm not sure i'm comfortable doing that but it is an option for sure!

 

[whywere]

Hi
No, I am not in the US, but i do intend on making a pest of myself starting tomorrow- well, today.. in just under 5 hours. (I don't sleep much anymore)
*Hugs* You'd think that with suicide attempts they'd be more likely to react and do something/ but these new secretaries are seriously awful- they have little to no empathy.
My GP knows of my prior attempts- she'd make it work. Not these new ladies.

YES..YES I would. I have always been 100% honest with my medical team and I have had people roll their eyes at me about the suicide attempts. Also tell them this: it is easy to judge but hard to understand.It is 100% the truth. Best of luck to you. I am with you in spirit!! Walter

 

[W’ren]

Thank you Walter and i am so sorry to read that you were treated that way :(

Today my sleeping issue happened again and i missed the emergency appointment window of time to call... i slept half the day.

I finally got up- had a shower and in there i just cried and cried- and finally i just let out this huge shrieking scream- i feel like a trapped animal; backed into a corner.

I don't know if i've mentioned it anywhere but i'm a telephone-phobe. I hate making + receiving phone calls... so the worse i get, the harder it is to pick up that phone...

But i did. I picked up the phone and called- got the same secretary and without identifying myself i asked if my dr had any emerge appointments this week. And she does!

Now i HAVE to wake up and call right at 8:30 tomorrow morning, if i want anything to even possibly go my way.

 

[Caspers]

Could you possibly get her email so you can contact her directly? Considering your situation, I would assume she would be okay with giving an email for emergency purposes. I hope the call tomorrow goes well, you've got the power

 

[W’ren]

Could you possibly get her email so you can contact her directly? Considering your situation, I would assume she would be okay with giving an email for emergency purposes. I hope the call tomorrow goes well, you've got the power

I never thought about asking for her email.
I'll try that.
I'm someone who never misses an appointment so this situation is totally unprecedented. I'd probably never need her email again cuz this would never happen again.
And after my anxiety these past few days... omg i can't do this again. I'm barely handling it.

 

[Caspers]

Hey you're handling it very well by phoning when you're anxious about phoning. You're doing really well, don't let yourself tell you otherwise. Try to do nice calming things and take your mind off it, you have one day and then you can finally talk to her. Maybe put multiple alarms beforehand, I often do that with early morning appointments. Good luck!

 

[W’ren]

Hey you're handling it very well by phoning when you're anxious about phoning. You're doing really well, don't let yourself tell you otherwise. Try to do nice calming things and take your mind off it, you have one day and then you can finally talk to her. Maybe put multiple alarms beforehand, I often do that with early morning appointments. Good luck!

Thanks!
I've already set 4 alarms. Lol.

 

[Caspers]

Haha you're already four steps ahead then

 

[whywere]

Thank you Walter and i am so sorry to read that you were treated that way :(

Today my sleeping issue happened again and i missed the emergency appointment window of time to call... i slept half the day.

I finally got up- had a shower and in there i just cried and cried- and finally i just let out this huge shrieking scream- i feel like a trapped animal; backed into a corner.

I don't know if i've mentioned it anywhere but i'm a telephone-phobe. I hate making + receiving phone calls... so the worse i get, the harder it is to pick up that phone...

But i did. I picked up the phone and called- got the same secretary and without identifying myself i asked if my dr had any emerge appointments this week. And she does!

Now i HAVE to wake up and call right at 8:30 tomorrow morning, if i want anything to even possibly go my way.

@Echo that is FANTASTIC news!!!!! I had you in my thoughts today that a great outcome would happen for you. THAT news makes me so happy for you!!!! Just FANTASTIC!! I just went to my pain doctor today 11.09.2020, and when we were done he handed me my 28 days worth of opoids. YES i have been on them for over 4 years and will be till the end. So you and me are like twins in this aspect. ALL the love, caring and empathy in this world to you as you get to the doctor and your new prescription!!!! Walter

 

[Ghost2211]

Great to hear they had another availability! and good to hear you have four alarms all set and ready to wake you up. You should be super proud of yourself that you've thought through the anxiety and kept trying until you got what you needed.

 

[W’ren]

Great to hear they had another availability! and good to hear you have four alarms all set and ready to wake you up. You should be super proud of yourself that you've thought through the anxiety and kept trying until you got what you needed.

Thank you
I'm not assured of the appointment yet- but i'm going to be right on top of the phone to get one of those appointments.
Of course it will mean making another phone call...

 

[W’ren]

Just to let you all know i got the appointment! Woohoo!!
Things *should* be ok now med wise... as in no projected withdrawal, but i'll only know for certain later on once i've spoken with my dr.
Thanks for all your support!