Help

[ThrowAway1626]

deleted

 

[shadow11]

Hey Everyone,

I've been watching the forum for about a week, and I've been touched by all the support and care you all have for each other. I'm pretty close to leaving tonight, but just need to muster up the courage. If I don't go soon, people are going to get worried, think that I'm missing, and raise all kinds of unnecessary alarms. I want my community just have closure of knowing what's done is done. Is anyone available I can talk to so I don't feel like I'm doing this alone?

Thank you very much.

Hello I can talk for a little while. What brought you to this forum

 

[shadow11]

Medical school got to me, but I've honestly been walking around thinking I should ctb for months

I've been here a few weeks trying to get my courage up to do it. How do you plan on going

 

[shadow11]

Hanging. it's my only option and time is limited.

That's my only option too would prefer something a little more peaceful but that's all I got

 

[shadow11]

What's stopping you?

Not fear of dying really but of the time up to it like what happens to your body beforehand and and so forth

 

[shadow11]

Not fear of dying really but of the time up to it like what happens to your body beforehand and and so forth

Are you doing partial suspension

 

[shadow11]

Yeah and I think if I do a tourniquet to pass out (like the pass out game) it will make it seem less scary

Maybe so I want to do full and get it over with all at once but I'm about to talk myself out of that just depends on how desperate I am at the time

 

[shadow11]

Don't do anything impulsively. You should be comfortable and make sure that it's what you want to do and that when you do it it will be the way you want it

I know I've had my rope hung in the closet for a week I keep going back to it to practice but every time things start going dark I pull it off I'm just scared and I want to go so bad

 

[shadow11]

That reminds me of a funny thought I had today. I was eating some corn-beef and hash and I was thinking to myself, this cow just died like it was no big deal. And who knows how many millions of cow die a year just like that and no one bats an eye. And here we are making a big deal about our singularly small lives!

Yes but the cow doesn't know what's going to hit them and we have too much time to consider all the possibilities . I would rather be the cow or someone come in and shoot me in the head right now

 

[shadow11]

I know.... I wish I had N. It makes it so easy. You can just hug your pillow as it happens.

Me too no way to get it I wish I could just od on what I have but I'd probably vomit or wake up

 

[shadow11]

Yeah honestly and then we could all donate our organs and the world would be a better place! But my organs are gonna go to waste now probably. I could technically time it by sending out delayed e-mails but that doesn't leave much room for error

I dont think I would it might take you longer than you expect or email goes out too soon and really mess you up better be careful

 

[shadow11]

I know that's why Im not but I wish I could have donated my organs.... someone could have really used them!

Yes you're right about that. I'm sorry to say this but I have to go to bed dont get much sleep anyway. I have really enjoyed talking to you and hope you find the peace you desire. Safe travels

 

[StarDust]

I know I've had my rope hung in the closet for a week I keep going back to it to practice but every time things start going dark I pull it off I'm just scared and I want to go so bad

What exactly are you scared of? Once you go dark that is it. That I can promise you. I did it by full suspension 7 seconds of somewhat fear but happiness and then nothing. Only reason I am here is because I was found...and got d-fib 4x

 

[shadow11]

What exactly are you scared of? Once you go dark that is it. That I can promise you. I did it by full suspension 7 seconds of somewhat fear but happiness and then nothing. Only reason I am here is because I was found...and got d-fib 4x

The unknown I guess and pain . is there much pain involved in full suspension

 

[creatureoflight]

That reminds me of a funny thought I had today. I was eating some corn-beef and hash and I was thinking to myself, this cow just died like it was no big deal. And who knows how many millions of cow die a year just like that and no one bats an eye. And here we are making a big deal about our singularly small lives!

Actually the cows dying is a pretty big deal, that's why there are so many vegans and vegetarians because to us, it does matter.
You are in med school and want to kill yourself? are you 100% sure that you want this? Seems you are smart and talented, I would do anything to get into med school (I couldn't because I am way too sensitive, and have many chronic illnesses and also my GPA wasn't good enough), you are so lucky! Of course, it's your choice in the end but seems you have many gifts that other would kill for.

 

[StarDust]

The unknown I guess and pain . is there much pain involved in full suspension

There is pain and it's not pleasant but it is bearable; beside it does not last for long before you are consumed by the dark and then nothingness. The longest I have ever seen it take in other people is 22 seconds. Mine was 7 seconds.

 

[shadow11]

There is pain and it's not pleasant but it is bearable; beside it does not last for long before you are consumed by the dark and then nothingness. The longest I have ever seen it take in other people is 22 seconds. Mine was 7 seconds.

Thank you for explaining eases my mind some I know it wont be too much longer anyway again thanks

 

[StarDust]

Thank you for explaining eases my mind some I know it wont be too much longer anyway again thanks

You are welcome just remember time seems longer when it is happened, everything slows down but in reality it is very quick. Just make sure you get the rope above the adams apple.

I am not sure if you saw the little 12 year old girl that hung herself on FB live down in Georgia, USA but she did it with a tiny little rope, she didn't struggle and you can watch her pass out peacefully...and you can see the exact moment. (bc she was fiddling with her fingers waiting for it to happen and then they just drop to her side and she was out like a light.)

 

[GoneSeptember2018]

12 year old girl that hung herself on FB live down in Georgia, USA but she did it with a tiny little rope, she didn't struggle and you can watch her pass out....

The little girl who was abused by a family member and then live-streamed her suicide right? Tragic life. :( that one broke my heart man.

 

[StarDust]

The little girl who was abused by a family member and then live-streamed her suicide right? Tragic life. :( that one broke my heart man.

Yes, that is the one that I am talking about...so sad... she asked for help but never got it.

 

[GoneSeptember2018]

Yes, that is the one that I am talking about...so sad... she asked for help but never got it.

F-CK this world :( she deserved better

 

[StarDust]

F-CK this world :( she deserved better

I agree.

 

[shadow11]

You are welcome just remember time seems longer when it is happened, everything slows down but in reality it is very quick. Just make sure you get the rope above the adams apple.

I am not sure if you saw the little 12 year old girl that hung herself on FB live down in Georgia, USA but she did it with a tiny little rope, she didn't struggle and you can watch her pass out peacefully...and you can see the exact moment. (bc she was fiddling with her fingers waiting for it to happen and then they just drop to her side and she was out like a light.)

What if I dont get the rope right in full suspension

 

[shadow11]

What exactly are you scared of? Once you go dark that is it. That I can promise you. I did it by full suspension 7 seconds of somewhat fear but happiness and then nothing. Only reason I am here is because I was found...and got d-fib 4x

Sorry but what if I dont get th rope right hate to repeat myself

 

[shadow11]

You are welcome just remember time seems longer when it is happened, everything slows down but in reality it is very quick. Just make sure you get the rope above the adams apple.

I am not sure if you saw the little 12 year old girl that hung herself on FB live down in Georgia, USA but she did it with a tiny little rope, she didn't struggle and you can watch her pass out peacefully...and you can see the exact moment. (bc she was fiddling with her fingers waiting for it to happen and then they just drop to her side and she was out like a light.)

Since not male no Adam's apple how do I make sure where to get the rope

 

[StarDust]

Since not male no Adam's apple how do I make sure where to get the rope

Feel your throat, you can still feel a bump get above that....tilting your head up to get the rope to fit better might help. Get it under the jaw line and depending on your method P or FS it won't be too uncomfortable and you should compress the carotid artery just perfect so that you blackout before you know what is happening. You should do some testing but be very careful...when the blackness starts to come you have maybe 2 seconds to stop before it's lights out.

 

[StarDust]

Sorry but what if I dont get th rope right hate to repeat myself

Then you will not black out as quickly and it will be more painful. That is why a test run is good...