Help Help with SN method in Poland

[SufferingDev]

Hello dear Sanctioned Suicide forum members,

For context, I am 18 years old man living in Poland and I want to commit suicide - why? When even you terapist says he doesn't want to work with you anymore, you really do not see the light at the end of the tunnel, but my story is a thing for another (vent) post.

Lately I have tried preparing for SN method, while obtaining SN itself is fairly easy (you can buy it online with no problems whatsoever), I have big problems with getting my hands on any Antiemetic (not couting Dimenhydrinatum which can be obtained without any problems but from what I read is ineffective). I have tried searching for something that is not for perscription only, I have tried getting the perscription but my doctor refused.

It's worth to note I also have easy access to Aripiprazole and Fluoxetine - I don't know if that can help in anything but maybe...

 

[SadGirl32]

można na priv jeśli chodzi o SN?

 

[SufferingDev]

oh.. you're only 18. you are super young and lots of great things might and will happen to you in the future. give yourself some time.

Such a beautiful age to be. You can go to a festival or travel abroad, learn a new language, meet people around the world and have lots of adventures with them.

You have so so many reasons to live for. You're young, beautiful and have a bright future ahead of you. Important that you put some effort into making yourself feel better.

Thank you for your kind words, I really appriciate it - but it is not something that I came up with last week, things has been going around for a while (like from the start of this year). I will write a vent post which in I will explain why I want to do it.

można na priv jeśli chodzi o SN?

Tak.

 

[nihilism__]

Hello dear Sanctioned Suicide forum members,

For context, I am 18 years old man living in Poland and I want to commit suicide - why? When even you terapist says he doesn't want to work with you anymore, you really do not see the light at the end of the tunnel, but my story is a thing for another (vent) post.

Lately I have tried preparing for SN method, while obtaining SN itself is fairly easy (you can buy it online with no problems whatsoever), I have big problems with getting my hands on any Antiemetic (not couting Dimenhydrinatum which can be obtained without any problems but from what I read is ineffective). I have tried searching for something that is not for perscription only, I have tried getting the perscription but my doctor refused.

It's worth to note I also have easy access to Aripiprazole and Fluoxetine - I don't know if that can help in anything but maybe...

I am planning to use SN next week and I'll use only non prescription meds

 

[dreamcatcher90]

If I were you, I would legit go to a techno festival in Poland. I know there are some really cool ones in the woods, with disco balls hanging on the trees and lasers. It might change your life and you will meet new people, socialize. Techno people are fun and friendly. And music is great too, lose yourself to dance. Dance your pain away.
I'm 34 now. Also, have lots of suicidal thoughts. But 18 seems way too young. At least try to give yourself some cool and fun times before ctb. heck, I would drop xtc and do some psychedelics instead sn. . There's so many options for you. you will always have an option for sn.
I wanted to say sorry for not supporting your choice. got a warning

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...-method-comprehensive-guide-sn-method.121672/ this thread helped me a lot and actually there's another thread https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/goodbye-thread-today-10-00-pm-utc-2.50562/ person committed cbt just with sn without any antiemetics.

 

[Xe-]

If I were you, I would legit go to a techno festival in Poland. I know there are some really cool ones in the woods, with disco balls hanging on the trees and lasers. It might change your life and you will meet new people, socialize. Techno people are fun and friendly. And music is great too, lose yourself to dance. Dance your pain away.
I'm 34 now. Also, have lots of suicidal thoughts. But 18 seems way too young. At least try to give yourself some cool and fun times before ctb. heck, I would drop xtc and do some psychedelics instead sn. . There's so many options for you. you will always have an option for sn.
I wanted to say sorry for not supporting your choice. got a warning

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...-method-comprehensive-guide-sn-method.121672/ this thread helped me a lot and actually there's another thread https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/goodbye-thread-today-10-00-pm-utc-2.50562/ person committed cbt just with sn without any antiemetics.

I noticed you have been coming on trying to cheer up the crowd on a few threads. I am not following you but I just want to ask how you truly felt at 18. What was actually going on in your life? You say you are suicidal and it usually becomes known by ones self years before our ages now. I know I became suicidal as a young teen. About 14 was when my realization hit that I just wasn't hopeful of a future. Take care.

 

[dreamcatcher90]

I noticed you have been coming on trying to cheer up the crowd on a few threads. I am not following you but I just want to ask how you truly felt at 18. What was actually going on in your life? You say you are suicidal and it usually becomes known by ones self years before our ages now. I know I became suicidal as a young teen. About 14 was when my realization hit that I just wasn't hopeful of a future. Take care.

I was always unstable. Life was full of ups and downs. But I am happy to have some memories of being high and dancing in the woods under a starry sky.

I vented in the morning and felt a bit better afterwards. Venting helps. Reading other peoples struggles makes me feel less alone.

On the other hand, I understand that cbt sometimes is the best option and I fully support it.
I wish everyone to find the peace they deserve.

 

[Xe-]

Did being high help or was it just a euphoric moment that you built your whole life on? I know personally being high never helped. I was just constantly putting on a band aid so I could tolerate my existance. I don't think it's good to suggest for anyone to try any drug if they want to die. It becomes a band aid and it's easy to get sucked into the habit of euphoria. Being clear clarifies your life. Being in a daze only fogs the mirror in front of you.

 

[SufferingDev]

As I promised, here is the explanation of why am I even here:

A little about my miserable life

Well, so basically on why I want to do it and something about me... At first glance one could say my life is beautiful, I am only 18, have a job as a programmer in one of the Poland's most known and legendary Internet brands in top of that I run my own business (IT services, video games...

sanctioned-suicide.net

recommend reading before telling me why should I not do it.

 

[Xe-]

I dealt with homelessness, drug addiction, being disowned by my family. I have always been a closet drug user. At the begining of the year I got into a halfway house, which is a sober living community type of set up. It was a relief to get off of the street, but then I had to learn to live with not being dependent on any substance. Including weed. That was the first time in my life I had total clarity over my situation. I had no toxins in my system to fog my brain from the reality of my life. I was never a hard drug user. I was a "once a month I would spend a day or two and smoke meth" type of drug user. So I had no withdrawals. I lived in a daze instead. So back to getting sober, I absolutely wanted to kill myself. I started seeing all of these problems that have been a constant thing in my life. The feeling of wanting to die actually got worse. I do smoke THC but only THC because I can not live my life completely sober. I need the dazed effect or I can't slow down my brain. I am prescribed for marijuana. I don't want to consume any drug, even marijuana. I want to be sober AND feel okay with my existence in this world. I know I will never feel satisfied with my lot in the world. I know that sounds selfish. I don't care if it is selfish at this point. The point is, opening up my eyes in a sober view really gave me a lot to see about the reality of my life. I am still going to ctb. I guess I am crazy.

I was always unstable. Life was full of ups and downs. But I am happy to have some memories of being high and dancing in the woods under a starry sky.

I vented in the morning and felt a bit better afterwards. Venting helps. Reading other peoples struggles makes me feel less alone.

On the other hand, I understand that cbt sometimes is the best option and I fully support it.
I wish everyone to find the peace they deserve.

 

[dreamcatcher90]

Did being high help or was it just a euphoric moment that you built your whole life on? I know personally being high never helped. I was just constantly putting on a band aid so I could tolerate my existance. I don't think it's good to suggest for anyone to try any drug if they want to die. It becomes a band aid and it's easy to get sucked into the habit of euphoria. Being clear clarifies your life. Being in a daze only fogs the mirror in front of you.

As I promised, here is the explanation of why am I even here:

A little about my miserable life

Well, so basically on why I want to do it and something about me... At first glance one could say my life is beautiful, I am only 18, have a job as a programmer in one of the Poland's most known and legendary Internet brands in top of that I run my own business (IT services, video games...

sanctioned-suicide.net

recommend reading before telling me why should I not do it.

Imho, I would gladly be in your shoes.
You can literally travel and work from wherever you want with your experience. Many companies will want you.
your story just makes me hate my life more, lol.

I dealt with homelessness, drug addiction, being disowned by my family. I have always been a closet drug user. At the begining of the year I got into a halfway house, which is a sober living community type of set up. It was a relief to get off of the street, but then I had to learn to live with not being dependent on any substance. Including weed. That was the first time in my life I had total clarity over my situation. I had no toxins in my system to fog my brain from the reality of my life. I was never a hard drug user. I was a "once a month I would spend a day or two and smoke meth" type of drug user. So I had no withdrawals. I lived in a daze instead. So back to getting sober, I absolutely wanted to kill myself. I started seeing all of these problems that have been a constant thing in my life. The feeling of wanting to die actually got worse. I do smoke THC but only THC because I can not live my life completely sober. I need the dazed effect or I can't slow down my brain. I am prescribed for marijuana. I don't want to consume any drug, even marijuana. I want to be sober AND feel okay with my existence in this world. I know I will never feel satisfied with my lot in the world. I know that sounds selfish. I don't care if it is selfish at this point. The point is, opening up my eyes in a sober view really gave me a lot to see about the reality of my life. I am still going to ctb. I guess I am crazy.

I am sorry you had to go though all of this. My experience was different from yours. I had a great job, lived in Amsterdam. Was a casual festival goer. Felt amazing to dance with others. It gave me a reason to live at that time.

I dealt with homelessness, drug addiction, being disowned by my family. I have always been a closet drug user. At the begining of the year I got into a halfway house, which is a sober living community type of set up. It was a relief to get off of the street, but then I had to learn to live with not being dependent on any substance. Including weed. That was the first time in my life I had total clarity over my situation. I had no toxins in my system to fog my brain from the reality of my life. I was never a hard drug user. I was a "once a month I would spend a day or two and smoke meth" type of drug user. So I had no withdrawals. I lived in a daze instead. So back to getting sober, I absolutely wanted to kill myself. I started seeing all of these problems that have been a constant thing in my life. The feeling of wanting to die actually got worse. I do smoke THC but only THC because I can not live my life completely sober. I need the dazed effect or I can't slow down my brain. I am prescribed for marijuana. I don't want to consume any drug, even marijuana. I want to be sober AND feel okay with my existence in this world. I know I will never feel satisfied with my lot in the world. I know that sounds selfish. I don't care if it is selfish at this point. The point is, opening up my eyes in a sober view really gave me a lot to see about the reality of my life. I am still going to ctb. I guess I am crazy.

I am so sorry you had to go though all of this. My experience is different than yours. I had a good job, lived in Amsterdam, loved music. Was a casual festival goer. Dancing with others gave me a reason to live at that time.
I am so sorry, using this forum on my phone. Didn't notice the double quotes.

 

[SufferingDev]

Imho, I would gladly be in your shoes.

It's not very nice thing to say, I am suffering - a lot, otherwise I wouldn't be here. For example, today I wasn't able to get up from bed until like 9PM (staying in bed for like 20+ hours).

 

[dreamcatcher90]

It's not very nice thing to say, I am suffering - a lot, otherwise I wouldn't be here. For example, today I wasn't able to get up from bed until like 9PM (staying in bed for like 20+ hours).

It's a sign of depression. It's true, you have experienced some shit, shit passes.
you seem like a very smart person, heck, you have an amazing job and a fun furry community to be part of. I wish I knew coding, would start some passion project on the side to distract my brain.

It just seems that with your skillset and experience, you could get a well paying job anywhere in the world.

 

[SadGirl32]

Thank you for your kind words, I really appriciate it - but it is not something that I came up with last week, things has been going around for a while (like from the start of this year). I will write a vent post which in I will explain why I want to do it.

Tak.

Akurat ja nie mogę do ciebie napisać, mam komunikat -
This member limits who may view their full profile.

Możesz ty do mnie?

 

[RadiantNumber]

Hello dear Sanctioned Suicide forum members,

For context, I am 18 years old man living in Poland and I want to commit suicide - why? When even you terapist says he doesn't want to work with you anymore, you really do not see the light at the end of the tunnel, but my story is a thing for another (vent) post.

Lately I have tried preparing for SN method, while obtaining SN itself is fairly easy (you can buy it online with no problems whatsoever), I have big problems with getting my hands on any Antiemetic (not couting Dimenhydrinatum which can be obtained without any problems but from what I read is ineffective). I have tried searching for something that is not for perscription only, I have tried getting the perscription but my doctor refused.

It's worth to note I also have easy access to Aripiprazole and Fluoxetine - I don't know if that can help in anything but maybe...

Jakie województwo? Może pomoge

 

[SufferingDev]

Jakie województwo? Może pomoge

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