Help help with note

[arnd]

Hello this is what I have so far for one of the notes I am planning to leave.



I have a couple questions:

I am not sure if putting "my decision was made for me the moment isolation began again and long before we last spoke" or something along those lines. Feels like that would help with relieving them from any responsibility. Maybe it comes across as bitching and pouting or maybe just wouldnt make much sense to them tho idk.

Also I wanted to know if should I switch the orders of paragraphs 3 & 4.

Also if there is anything else I could add to soften the blow or at least delay it. When I tried to speak of this in the past irl or just death related stuff it made them a bit uncomfortable.

And finally, should I let them know I don't want them to "engage" with the next of kin that will be handling my remains? It is a part of my life that has meant nothing but pain and I do not want to put them through that. I know it is something that is ultimately outside of one's control, but just want to know what you guys think.

Sorry if some things dont make much sense

Appreciate the help

 

[Smart No More]

I think that's actually pretty good as it is.

Maybe just say "my decision was made a long time ago. I've just been making my peace with it for some time and have been dealing with my feelings surrounding the way my actions could impact you, my loved ones."

Obviously put that into your own words. I think it's important for the reader to be able to imagine you saying the words you write.

As for your wishes after you pass it might be mest to put that in another letter however if the person reading the letter above will receive the letter directly then it doesn't hurt to stipulate that yoy prefer your family members not to see it. If it's a wish to keep all family members eyes off it you could start your letter as "strictly foe your eyes only". Or you can address it to multiple specific people. It kind of depends on the format you're using. A hand written note is nice and personal rather than an email.

If you specifically don't want your letter reader to even have contact with your relatives then I guess you can ask for that. I'm not sure why it will be a problem and the reason might inform the best way to handle the request you have so its.a bit tricky to give useful advice on that one. Generally speaking you can request it from both parties though. So like leave a requuest for your family to leave certain others out of things and leave a request for the relevant friends/parties to avoid and ignore attempts to make contact from the relevant relatives.

As far as softening the blow, yor letter will hopefully do the most part of that. There's only so much you can do. I think leaving with love and acceptance of the situation is high on the list of priorities. I like that you thanked them. That will leave them feeling whole and not like they overlooked something or didn't do something they might have been able to do.