Help me please. Please help me.

[ZoloftSüchtig]

Please help me. I can't. Pls I need help! Pls. I'm suffering so much. I can't take it anymore. I'm so scared. I just wanna be a child again an crawl in my moms arms and hearing her heartbeat and her telling me that everything will be fine and her singing me to sleep and going through my wrists carefully with her fingernails. I need that! Pls give it to me! I need it so badly! Pls let me be a child again in my mothers arms! Let her be there for me and pick me up from school after I had a bad day and her cheering me up again and making my fav food. I just want to be a child again.
I'm all alone right now in a foreign country. I need my mom. Give me my mom. I'm so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so miserable. I don't know what to do. I don't wanna kill myself but it's my last option. I don't have any other options anymore. I had them but I was too stupid! I ruined these last options I had! I'm so stupid! Fuck! But when I kill myself I don't know what my mom will do. I'm scared but I can't live anymore suffering like this.

 

[inaminute]

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way, I'm experiencing similar things my mum died last year on Feb 16th. I miss her so much. I feel your pain I hear you

 

[ZoloftSüchtig]

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way, I'm experiencing similar things my mum died last year on Feb 16th. I miss her so much. I feel your pain I hear you

Im so sorry your mom died. So unbelievably sorry!!!! My mom isn't dead but I'm in a different country all alone. Now I feel very bad. I'm so sorry.

 

[inaminute]

Im so sorry your mom died. So unbelievably sorry!!!! My mom isn't dead but I'm in a different country all alone. Now I feel very bad. I'm so sorry.

What stops you from calling her or facetime? Are you able to go home?

 

[ZoloftSüchtig]

What stops you from calling her or facetime? Are you able to go home?

I'm going tomorrow. I've called her a million times already since yesterday. The thing is I'm just so miserable. I made this huge mistake and Im fucked and I can't talk about it all with my mom cause then she will suffer even more than me because she loves me so much and then I don't know what to do and I just wanna be a child again. That's it. I hope when I kill myself I get another chance at this same life with the same mother but this time I don't make that stupid mistake.

 

[inaminute]

Life is cruel

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Do you want to share what your horrible mistake is?

You'll see her soon. Hang in there.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Is there no way you can return home permanently? We all make mistakes in life. Sometimes we have to try stuff to know whether it will work. Maybe living in this other country isn't for you. Hopefully, you're Mum will be able to help.

 

[nobody11]

Are you a child ?

 

[ZoloftSüchtig]

Are you a child ?

I'm 19.

Do you want to share what your horrible mistake is?

You'll see her soon. Hang in there.

Honestly I kind of prefer not to talk about that mistake at the moment. Ain't ready for that. But thank you. I'm really looking forward to seeing her tomorrow. Holding her in my arms will hopefully make me forget how miserable I am for a short time.

Is there no way you can return home permanently? We all make mistakes in life. Sometimes we have to try stuff to know whether it will work. Maybe living in this other country isn't for you. Hopefully, you're Mum will be able to help.

Hey thank you. The mistake I made actually is a different one. Well yeah going to a different country was a mistake too but yeah that's not what makes me so suicidal. And also I'll be back home tomorrow. But yeah thank you . I've been able to calm down at least a little bit. I'm pretty sure I'll kill myself sooner or later but maybe I can make it just a little bit longer for my mom.