Help Me Please 9/7/19

[toomuchpain1213]

Ok so I looked at other forums that were similar in topic but none have been viewed since July. This is my situation, I suffered a terrible reaction to Cipro antibiotic 6 years ago that left me disabled. It ruptured multiple tendons and caused central nervous system damage. I have excruciating pain every day and literally scream all day bc pain management doesn't believe me and trust me if you look up flouroquinolone toxicity you will find quickly that I am one of many. So I feel like I have given it a good chance to heal, 6 years is a decent amount of time to scream. I didn't want my life to turn out this way and I took it for a simple ear infection, but for whatever reason, my life did turn out this way, and I am ready to be free of the constant suffering. It's not so much that I want to die is that I can't continue to live like this, I'm on a ton of medications now and I am still in constant agony in my spine from nerve damage. So, that being said, I have read on here about the famous A and that A has N and I am in the US. Now, I don't know much about the dark web but I can figure anything out if I can just be directed as to how to contact A. I know I have to get a proton mail acct but I'm sure I can figure that out. I'm basically begging at this point for someone, anyone, to PM me and help point me in the right direction. The thought of living another 50 years with this excruciating pain is so much worse than death. They say Cipro isn't the drug that kills you it's the one that makes you kill yourself. How ironic the truth in that statement. I hope everyone is managing tonight, and if anyone wants to chat I check my account here regularly. I found y'all off Peaceful Pill and I'm grateful for the community. A lot of people don't understand bc I look totally normal and they think I'm just a headcase. But I was on no medications before and was an athlete. I just had an earache. 14 days later I was crippled and have been ever since. It still seems unreal to me even 6 years later. Thanks in advance for any help at all anyone is willing to give me. You will be doing me such a service as high level chronic physical pain is like being in a constant torture chamber. ❤

 

[Donewith_]

Sorry you went through all that.. and are in excruciating pain. Its sad that there is no good treatment for some medical conditions yet. And yes.. sadly some people just don't get it unless they experience things themselves.
I'm glad that you found this place. I hope you find the peace you deserve..

Setting up a protonmail is a simple thing.
~Just download the app(or just go to online version of it)
~you need to create a new mail, password (just the way you do usually) ..i think thats it. I created before a while.

I don't know if you can order N from A now.. i hope someone can chip in and help about it.

You want to go with N specifically?
Else may be you can check sn too in resources.(its a bit easy to obtain, affordable)
I assume you have checked resources(?)..there are other options toot there.

You can get PM privileges after few more posts.
Feel free to ask if there are some other things you want to ask about.

 

[Blackjack]

Ok so I looked at other forums that were similar in topic but none have been viewed since July. This is my situation, I suffered a terrible reaction to Cipro antibiotic 6 years ago that left me disabled. It ruptured multiple tendons and caused central nervous system damage. I have excruciating pain every day and literally scream all day bc pain management doesn't believe me and trust me if you look up flouroquinolone toxicity you will find quickly that I am one of many. So I feel like I have given it a good chance to heal, 6 years is a decent amount of time to scream. I didn't want my life to turn out this way and I took it for a simple ear infection, but for whatever reason, my life did turn out this way, and I am ready to be free of the constant suffering. It's not so much that I want to die is that I can't continue to live like this, I'm on a ton of medications now and I am still in constant agony in my spine from nerve damage. So, that being said, I have read on here about the famous A and that A has N and I am in the US. Now, I don't know much about the dark web but I can figure anything out if I can just be directed as to how to contact A. I know I have to get a proton mail acct but I'm sure I can figure that out. I'm basically begging at this point for someone, anyone, to PM me and help point me in the right direction. The thought of living another 50 years with this excruciating pain is so much worse than death. They say Cipro isn't the drug that kills you it's the one that makes you kill yourself. How ironic the truth in that statement. I hope everyone is managing tonight, and if anyone wants to chat I check my account here regularly. I found y'all off Peaceful Pill and I'm grateful for the community. A lot of people don't understand bc I look totally normal and they think I'm just a headcase. But I was on no medications before and was an athlete. I just had an earache. 14 days later I was crippled and have been ever since. It still seems unreal to me even 6 years later. Thanks in advance for any help at all anyone is willing to give me. You will be doing me such a service as high level chronic physical pain is like being in a constant torture chamber. ❤❤

In the past 30 days, people have successfully ordered/received N from A. Set up your Proton email and message me if you need his email address. I'd jump on it since we never know when he'll have to go on the DL again.

 

[LMFAO FOCKERS]

@toomuchpain1213 You need to post three more messages before you can PM.

Have at it!

 

[mnjkl]

I'm new here and I don't know anything about "A" or whether it's legit or not. As for the dark web however, you can get anything you can possibly imagine there.

Download the Tor browser:

The Tor Project | Privacy & Freedom Online

Defend yourself against tracking and surveillance. Circumvent censorship.

www.torproject.org

Then use it to go to:

https://deeponionweb.com/

Find the URL to Empire Market, create an account, create a wallet and buy some btc (google how to do that) and order away! You should learn to use PGP, it's pretty simple if you take the time to read some guides.

If you want to be safe you should also learn to verify links with PGP signatures, there's a lot of phishing on the dark web right now!

Good luck!

 

[ralphnol]

Ok so I looked at other forums that were similar in topic but none have been viewed since July. This is my situation, I suffered a terrible reaction to Cipro antibiotic 6 years ago that left me disabled. It ruptured multiple tendons and caused central nervous system damage. I have excruciating pain every day and literally scream all day

jeez dude... you deserve to be helped.

 

[Fragile]

damn, doctors never tell you about the side effects of drugs, hearing about your case and many others makes me loose a lot of respect in modern medicine, how can doctors just fuck up someone's life without even warning about those terrible side effects?

i'll take this as a warning since i've seen a lot of people suffer from side effects from antibiotics.

one thing that i'll say about N is that you should look into backup methods, getting it is very hard and you may not recieve it. plus there are plenty of good methods here on this forum.

 

[ThriveOrDie]

I'm a victim of antibiotics too. I was starting to recover from Lyme disease (done all naturally) then I took antibiotics for life threatening infections (2 UTI's and flesh eating bacteria on my skin). I had a relapse and now I probably have lupus. Please never take antibiotics if you can help it. I recommend learning to deal with infections naturally.

I'm so glad I never took the conventional treatment for chronic Lyme as I think they put you on Cipro for long periods of time. It sounds like I would be even worse off. I'm so sorry for your pain @toomuchpain1213

Doctors killed my best friend with antibiotics. She had cancer and her tumors were dying with a natural treatment she was doing. But she had to go to the hospital to get a drainage tube, it got infected and they finished her off with antibiotics. Her liver was already not working due to cancer and the antibiotics destroyed her kidneys. The nurse even told her husband that the antibiotics killed her.

 

[toomuchpain1213]

Sorry you went through all that.. and are in excruciating pain. Its sad that there is no good treatment for some medical conditions yet. And yes.. sadly some people just don't get it unless they experience things themselves.
I'm glad that you found this place. I hope you find the peace you deserve..

Setting up a protonmail is a simple thing.
~Just download the app(or just go to online version of it)
~you need to create a new mail, password (just the way you do usually) ..i think thats it. I created before a while.

I don't know if you can order N from A now.. i hope someone can chip in and help about it.

You want to go with N specifically?
Else may be you can check sn too in resources.(its a bit easy to obtain, affordable)
I assume you have checked resources(?)..there are other options toot there.

You can get PM privileges after few more posts.
Feel free to ask if there are some other things you want to ask about.

Thank you so much for your support! It's so helpful just to know y'all are out there. I will follow these directions and set up proton mail. I would like to go w N, but am open to SN if need be. ❤

In the past 30 days, people have successfully ordered/received N from A. Set up your Proton email and message me if you need his email address. I'd jump on it since we never know when he'll have to go on the DL again.

Thank you so so much! ❤

I'm new here and I don't know anything about "A" or whether it's legit or not. As for the dark web however, you can get anything you can possibly imagine there.

Download the Tor browser:

The Tor Project | Privacy & Freedom Online

Defend yourself against tracking and surveillance. Circumvent censorship.

www.torproject.org

Then use it to go to:

https://deeponionweb.com/

Find the URL to Empire Market, create an account, create a wallet and buy some btc (google how to do that) and order away! You should learn to use PGP, it's pretty simple if you take the time to read some guides.

If you want to be safe you should also learn to verify links with PGP signatures, there's a lot of phishing on the dark web right now!

Good luck!

Thank you, I'm gonna follow your instructions as well but not sure how to verify PGP signatures. Honestly, I never saw myself in this situation but my heart breaks for us all as no one can fully appreciate anyone else's pain. All we can do is help each other and I'm glad y'all are willing. I will also help others one this forum as soon as I have enough knowledge to be helpful! ❤

@toomuchpain1213 You need to post three more messages before you can PM.

Have at it!

Ok thank you and posting! Or do my replies not count as posts? Maybe I have to create new ones I'm not sure. I'd reply to all of y'all anyways just to say thank you if nothing else. It's nice to know I'm not just posting into the abyss ❤.

damn, doctors never tell you about the side effects of drugs, hearing about your case and many others makes me loose a lot of respect in modern medicine, how can doctors just fuck up someone's life without even warning about those terrible side effects?

i'll take this as a warning since i've seen a lot of people suffer from side effects from antibiotics.

one thing that i'll say about N is that you should look into backup methods, getting it is very hard and you may not recieve it. plus there are plenty of good methods here on this forum.

I will for sure. And you are right to doubt doctors. I called the doctor 4 times over the course of the 14 days and told him about each thing that was happening to me. He assured me it wasn't the medication. He said he was 100% sure it was my ear infection causing me to feel this way and he was not willing to change my medication. He also said if I didn't finish the medication my ear infection was severe enough that it might put me in the hospital with mastoiditis. Well. Turns out I did end up in the hospital but not from the ear infection, from my tendons and cartilage melting off all over my body. I trusted that guy. He has a son who is my age he plays tennis with. I think about from time to time if he would've changed the antibiotic if I had been his daughter or if his ego was so big that he was that blind to his own ignorance. Many doctors have little respect for the fact that when they have a prescription pad, they have a loaded gun, only worse bc sometimes it's one w a slow bullet like what I got. I usually look up toxicities in meds but I was finishing my graduate thesis and had never reacted to a med and just didn't take it seriously. I messed up too, but I wasn't the one w the license on my wall. He will never understand how he altered the trajectory of my life because of his arrogance. Sorry for getting on that soap box for a moment! Yes, I will look into other ways, I haven't spent as much time on this forum yet as I want but I'm going to go through more of it this evening. So thankful for you people. ❤

 

[toomuchpain1213]

I'm a victim of antibiotics too. I was starting to recover from Lyme disease (done all naturally) then I took antibiotics for life threatening infections (2 UTI's and flesh eating bacteria on my skin). I had a relapse and now I probably have lupus. Please never take antibiotics if you can help it. I recommend learning to deal with infections naturally.

I'm so glad I never took the conventional treatment for chronic Lyme as I think they put you on Cipro for long periods of time. It sounds like I would be even worse off. I'm so sorry for your pain @toomuchpain1213

Doctors killed my best friend with antibiotics. She had cancer and her tumors were dying with a natural treatment she was doing. But she had to go to the hospital to get a drainage tube, it got infected and they finished her off with antibiotics. Her liver was already not working due to cancer and the antibiotics destroyed her kidneys. The nurse even told her husband that the antibiotics killed her.

I'm sure that's true. They are very dangerous. And I am so sorry to hear that you were also a victim of antibiotic poisoning. Do you know which one you took that might have caused your autoimmune issues? At this point, Cipro, Levaquin, and all the Flouroquinolones now have 5 black box warnings. 5. That's unheard of. One is aortic dissection. That would be if you're lucky bc it would probably be instant death. The others are all equally terrible but just slower and more tortuous. You may have been given Cipro, its given often for UTIs. I had actually taken it before and didn't have a problem or so I thought. What they don't tell you is that each time you take a FQ, a certain number of your mitochondrial DNA are killed off as collateral damage. This is your hard drive. Your body can compensate until it's at about 30% and then you have the crash I had. Some people can take it once and it kills them. Some can take it 5 times before they die. It's russian roulette until we have genetic testing as a guide for how each individual might react to each class of drug. Yet FQs are still the #1 class of antibiotic prescribed in America. We're gonna see more and more people like me, it's only a matter of time and the FDA knows it. I blame my doctor bc in my specific situation, it was pure arrogance on his part. Sometimes its the insurance company or big pharma or all of the above. Regardless of how it's dressed, it ultimately always goes back to ego or money or both. You're right about staying away from it, or at best make sure you do your research bc if they break you, they may not know how to fix you and they certainly aren't going to own up to it.

 

[ThriveOrDie]

I'm sure that's true. They are very dangerous. And I am so sorry to hear that you were also a victim of antibiotic poisoning. Do you know which one you took that might have caused your autoimmune issues? At this point, Cipro, Levaquin, and all the Flouroquinolones now have 5 black box warnings. 5. That's unheard of. One is aortic dissection. That would be if you're lucky bc it would probably be instant death. The others are all equally terrible but just slower and more tortuous. You may have been given Cipro, its given often for UTIs. I had actually taken it before and didn't have a problem or so I thought. What they don't tell you is that each time you take a FQ, a certain number of your mitochondrial DNA are killed off as collateral damage. This is your hard drive. Your body can compensate until it's at about 30% and then you have the crash I had. Some people can take it once and it kills them. Some can take it 5 times before they die. It's russian roulette until we have genetic testing as a guide for how each individual might react to each class of drug. Yet FQs are still the #1 class of antibiotic prescribed in America. We're gonna see more and more people like me, it's only a matter of time and the FDA knows it. I blame my doctor bc in my specific situation, it was pure arrogance on his part. Sometimes its the insurance company or big pharma or all of the above. Regardless of how it's dressed, it ultimately always goes back to ego or money or both. You're right about staying away from it, or at best make sure you do your research bc if they break you, they may not know how to fix you and they certainly aren't going to own up to it.

Thank you. I'm not sure. I think I took Keflex, cefdinir and nitrofurantoin. I didn't know that FQ's kill mitochondrial DNA. That's what I feel like...my energy levels have been so low since the last course of antibiotics. I was going to order a supplement for it. I used to work for an ND that was successfully treating people for cancer by treating mitochondrial dysfuntion. But he got shut down by the FDA for helping people.

 

[hobbydevil]

I'm new to this forum myself, so I'm afraid I can't offer the information or advice you're looking for, but would just like to say welcome and I am so, so sorry this happened to you!
I am so angry on your behalf!

I don't want to compare my pain to yours, as my story and consequences are both different and it'd be so disrespectful, but I hope it is alright for me to say that your post spoke to me as I have a very similar attitude...
"It's not so much that I want to die, it's that I can't continue to live like this."
Didn't see my life going this way 5 years ago, and I'm saddened things are the way they are because in theory there are many things I would have loved to do if my life had gone differently and if my situation had a fix. It hurts. And it hurts to not have others understand that.
People are so hellbent on keeping everyone alive, even if they're suffering and all the "choices" they have are to cope with it somehow. It sucks.

I also suffer from health consequences and an altered body due to the negligence of medical professionals - wrong, careless diagnosing, (imo) unethical treatment, and not sufficiently informing me of risks. In my case I was more involved in the decision making, albeit while mentally ill, obsessively desperate and being fed a lie, so in a rather poor state of mind to make decisions.
In any case, regardless of who's at fault, while my initial problems that lead me to seek out that "help" have subsided overtime due to simply growing up and working on them emotionally, the "professional treatment" I received left me with health scares I shouldn't be having at my young age, a whole lot of guilt and grief and anger, and a nostalgia for the past I struggle to make peace with. All of which could have been avoided had I simply gone to different medical professionals (therapists, doctors) and received different, more adequate and ethical help.

I hope this forum can aid you in soothing your pain, one way or another. It feels so dark and wrong to talk about it like that, but I also feel a strange sense of relief whenever I am on here. The realization that it's one's own choice to ctb or not "when the time comes", and that there's always a way out, is oddly calming.

Anyhow, excuse my rambling! If I can ever help you in any way please feel free to reach out anytime!

 

[toomuchpain1213]

I'm new to this forum myself, so I'm afraid I can't offer the information or advice you're looking for, but would just like to say welcome and I am so, so sorry this happened to you!
I am so angry on your behalf!

I don't want to compare my pain to yours, as my story and consequences are both different and it'd be so disrespectful, but I hope it is alright for me to say that your post spoke to me as I have a very similar attitude...
"It's not so much that I want to die, it's that I can't continue to live like this."
Didn't see my life going this way 5 years ago, and I'm saddened things are the way they are because in theory there are many things I would have loved to do if my life had gone differently and if my situation had a fix. It hurts. And it hurts to not have others understand that.
People are so hellbent on keeping everyone alive, even if they're suffering and all the "choices" they have are to cope with it somehow. It sucks.

I also suffer from health consequences and an altered body due to the negligence of medical professionals - wrong, careless diagnosing, (imo) unethical treatment, and not sufficiently informing me of risks. In my case I was more involved in the decision making, albeit while mentally ill, obsessively desperate and being fed a lie, so in a rather poor state of mind to make decisions.
In any case, regardless of who's at fault, while my initial problems that lead me to seek out that "help" have subsided overtime due to simply growing up and working on them emotionally, the "professional treatment" I received left me with health scares I shouldn't be having at my young age, a whole lot of guilt and grief and anger, and a nostalgia for the past I struggle to make peace with. All of which could have been avoided had I simply gone to different medical professionals (therapists, doctors) and received different, more adequate and ethical help.

I hope this forum can aid you in soothing your pain, one way or another. It feels so dark and wrong to talk about it like that, but I also feel a strange sense of relief whenever I am on here. The realization that it's one's own choice to ctb or not "when the time comes", and that there's always a way out, is oddly calming.

Anyhow, excuse my rambling! If I can ever help you in any way please feel free to reach out anytime!

No! Your rambling resonates with me so much! I feel like life has continued for everyone else but my last good memories are from 2014 so it's like time has stood still for me! I totally have a nostalgia for the past, in fact I long for it, even tho it is just a distant memory for the others involved! It's so strange, like I'm stuck in 2014! And I can tell when I even talk to people that they're in a totally different place than me bc they've been living and making new memories since 2014 so they can't relate at all and then I just look bizarre! Thank you so much for your kind words and my heart breaks for you as well. It's so strange how one decision can completely alter the course of our lives. Medical professionals are all very different and it seems to just be a matter of luck as to whether you are helped, harmed, or left to your own devices. I am here to support you as well and I hope you feel the sense of community here that I have so far. ❤

Thank you. I'm not sure. I think I took Keflex, cefdinir and nitrofurantoin. I didn't know that FQ's kill mitochondrial DNA. That's what I feel like...my energy levels have been so low since the last course of antibiotics. I was going to order a supplement for it. I used to work for an ND that was successfully treating people for cancer by treating mitochondrial dysfuntion. But he got shut down by the FDA for helping people.

Yes, mitochondrial DNA are the powerhouses of energy for us but I'm sure you know about that if you worked for a ND. That is so terrible that your ND got shut down. Big pharma rules the world and they have the FDA in their pocket. I'm not sure if my replies count as posts or if I need to post new stuff? Someone told me I needed a certain amount of posts to open up the PM option. If you know about this, any info will be appreciated! And as far as mito dysfxn, glutathione is the best for it bc it's a detox and helps do what altered mito can no longer do. It has to be given IV tho, and it's not cheap. I bet your ND gave Meyers and Glutathione if he was working with mito dysfxn! Shame on the FDA for shutting down a licensed Dr. who was actually helping people. What a concept!

 

[ThriveOrDie]

No! Your rambling resonates with me so much! I feel like life has continued for everyone else but my last good memories are from 2014 so it's like time has stood still for me! I totally have a nostalgia for the past, in fact I long for it, even tho it is just a distant memory for the others involved! It's so strange, like I'm stuck in 2014! And I can tell when I even talk to people that they're in a totally different place than me bc they've been living and making new memories since 2014 so they can't relate at all and then I just look bizarre! Thank you so much for your kind words and my heart breaks for you as well. It's so strange how one decision can completely alter the course of our lives. Medical professionals are all very different and it seems to just be a matter of luck as to whether you are helped, harmed, or left to your own devices. I am here to support you as well and I hope you feel the sense of community here that I have so far. ❤


Yes, mitochondrial DNA are the powerhouses of energy for us but I'm sure you know about that if you worked for a ND. That is so terrible that your ND got shut down. Big pharma rules the world and they have the FDA in their pocket. I'm not sure if my replies count as posts or if I need to post new stuff? Someone told me I needed a certain amount of posts to open up the PM option. If you know about this, any info will be appreciated! And as far as mito dysfxn, glutathione is the best for it bc it's a detox and helps do what altered mito can no longer do. It has to be given IV tho, and it's not cheap. I bet your ND gave Meyers and Glutathione if he was working with mito dysfxn! Shame on the FDA for shutting down a licensed Dr. who was actually helping people. What a concept!

I know...shame on them! That ND diagnosed me with Lyme with very little knowledge of my medical history. I got the tests done to confirm. I have been using bone broth, coffee enemas and NAC to boost glutathione. I was getting IV's several years ago and got a migraine. I'm not sure if it was from the detoxing (herxheimer) or the preservative in the IV. I have been doing daily coffee enemas for about 5 years, juicing and gallbladder cleansing. I have passed sooooo many gallstones! Anyway, since I'm pretty clean now aside from heavy metals I think I could tolerate glutathione IV better. I was going to try again if I get approved for a Lyme treatment grant. Fingers crossed...

 

[toomuchpain1213]

I know...shame on them! That ND diagnosed me with Lyme with very little knowledge of my medical history. I got the tests done to confirm. I have been using bone broth, coffee enemas and NAC to boost glutathione. I was getting IV's several years ago and got a migraine. I'm not sure if it was from the detoxing (herxheimer) or the preservative in the IV. I have been doing daily coffee enemas for about 5 years, juicing and gallbladder cleansing. I have passed sooooo many gallstones! Anyway, since I'm pretty clean now aside from heavy metals I think I could tolerate glutathione IV better. I was going to try again if I get approved for a Lyme treatment grant. Fingers crossed...

Fingers crossed for you friend. If there is any treatment for your suffering where you can find peace in this life, I wish it for you.

 

[Trainwreck]

I just want to say that I'm really glad to find this forum. The people here are so much more compassionate than the medical establishment (ie. my doctor who said that I just have to push through the pain and nausea and eat anyway, or else she'll have me hospitalized and force fed). Sorry, just had to get that off my chest. Thanks to everyone who posted instructions above, and toomuchpain, I hope you are able to finally find relief.

Edit: Just wanted to add that I also am stuck in time, and long for the days before I was sick. I'm in my 40's, yet feel like I'm stuck in my teens because I never experienced a real adulthood. I see old classmates on Facebook, some who are even new grandparents, and I just can't wrap my head around it. Life moved on without me.

 

[toomuchpain1213]

Oh I am so so sorry! I understand more than you know! The medical establishment will have to answer for their lack of compassion! I don't know how or when but I have to believe it! It's what keeps me sane! I see my friends moving on with their lives also, having families, and it's so hard bc I'm stuck 6 years ago! It's the most bizarre feeling isn't it?! It's a whole other layer of grieving and I understand the longing. The doctors who told you to push through, they've clearly never walked in your shoes nor do they have the ability to empathize with your suffering. In a lot of ways, they're already dead imo. My heart goes out to you tonight. You are always welcomed here.

 

[Trainwreck]

Thank you very much! My mom was with me when my doctor told me that and she was appalled. My dad is adamant that I never go back to her (if I can avoid it, I won't). It's too bad our doctors can't walk a day in our shoes!

You're the first person I've ever come across that understands that feeling of being stuck in the past while everyone else has moved on. It's like we're stuck in a time warp.

Thank you for the warm welcome! Finding this place has been really helpful mentally. Even though my parents are great, they don't really understand the mental anguish of having health problem after health problem pile up. And I gotta say, it would suck even worse to be in your shoes and be denied a normal life due to a doctor prescribing the wrong drug. I hope that one way or another, we're both able to find some peace.

 

[ThriveOrDie]

Thank you very much! My mom was with me when my doctor told me that and she was appalled. My dad is adamant that I never go back to her (if I can avoid it, I won't). It's too bad our doctors can't walk a day in our shoes!

You're the first person I've ever come across that understands that feeling of being stuck in the past while everyone else has moved on. It's like we're stuck in a time warp.

Thank you for the warm welcome! Finding this place has been really helpful mentally. Even though my parents are great, they don't really understand the mental anguish of having health problem after health problem pile up. And I gotta say, it would suck even worse to be in your shoes and be denied a normal life due to a doctor prescribing the wrong drug. I hope that one way or another, we're both able to find some peace.

I understand how you feel too. I have been debilitated with illness for 15 years and my life has been completely on hold. I didn't have a proper childhood either.

 

[toomuchpain1213]

Time warp is the perfect example! Everything and everyone is moving on but me! It's maddening! And about finding peace, I have to believe we will find it, one way or the other. Reach out to me anytime
Same for you ThriveOrDie. Anytime. I hope we all find the peace we deserve .

 

[Trainwreck]

So how are you doing toomuchpain? You too Thrive!

 

[toomuchpain1213]

Ugh!!! So hard not be angry at God bc literally every day is like a repeat of the last! Just trying to get through! I desperately need N bc the physical pain is so tortuous! Powder, liquid, whatever!!!! It's so sad to me that they seize it, it's like, who are they to tell me I have to continue to scream all the time! I always lose my voice halfway through the day but just keep trying to scream. At night I knock myself out but it starts again first thing in the morning. We aren't "hurting" anyone but ourselves, and we aren't actually hurting ourselves if our pain is worse than what we would experience otherwise! It seems cruel if you ask me! Sorry for that rant! How are you doing?

 

[Trainwreck]

Rant away! It's all we have sometimes. I hate waking up in the morning and realizing I have to get through yet another day. Groundhogs Day: The Nightmare. I'm hanging in there for now, I guess. But I'm with you, people she be free to use N if they want to. We're competent adults. When my dog got old and miserable, I didn't tell him to suck it up for another couple years, I had him put down. It was devastating, but I was also comforted when he closed his eyes, kicked his back legs out (his favorite sleeping position), and laid his head down on his little front paws. He went so peacefully! Humans should be able to as well.

 

[toomuchpain1213]

I just had to put my sweet little maltipoo to sleep about a week ago bc I could tell she was suffering, and it was hard to do but I held her in my arms as she left this world, super fast and super peacefully. And we don't even grant our own species that luxury. I will always contend it's the people who really don't know suffering who fight against legal euthanasia for consenting adults.
I'm thinking about just going to Mexico and searching for it until I find it and taking it there. It seems to be my only option.

 

[Trainwreck]

Oh man, sorry to hear about your girl! It's a tough decision to make, that's for sure. I can't understand people who just drop their pets off and let them die without their person comforting them.

 

[toomuchpain1213]

Oh man, sorry to hear about your girl! It's a tough decision to make, that's for sure. I can't understand people who just drop their pets off and let them die without their person comforting them.

No way! She was a family member! I don't get those people either. I feel like they're missing the humanity part of being human. Ick. Even with the pain, I'd rather be me than them any day bc at least I know my compassion chip isn't missing. They're already dead they just don't know it.

 

[toomuchpain1213]

Hey TW, just thinking about you and Thrive tonight, hope you guys are holding your own. My heart goes out to y'all tonight.

 

[Trainwreck]

Still hanging in there! I hope you are too, considering your crappy circumstances. I did get my SN in the mail today, so worse comes to worse, I have an out. Although I was just reading that Exit has added another prescription drug to the protocol, so I no longer have everything they recommend.

 

[woxihuanni]

Still hanging in there! I hope you are too, considering your crappy circumstances. I did get my SN in the mail today, so worse comes to worse, I have an out. Although I was just reading that Exit has added another prescription drug to the protocol, so I no longer have everything they recommend.

What's it then, the new drug?

 

[Stan]

Still hanging in there! I hope you are too, considering your crappy circumstances. I did get my SN in the mail today, so worse comes to worse, I have an out. Although I was just reading that Exit has added another prescription drug to the protocol, so I no longer have everything they recommend.

Its only a low level recommendation, its not essential. People have died using SN and gone through none of the regime