help me, i’m invincible

[alterationitfinds]

no i'm not joking, the amount of things i've tried and i'm still here. i think i'm invincible. i know that's illogical and impossible but why don't you read just how far i've gone and decide for yourself..

i've taken over 10 paracetamol ODs and i have acute liver failure
i've taken an alcohol morphine and fentanyl patch overdose
i've eaten a full bottles worth of smashed glass and taken ibuprofen for an anticoagulant during that
i've eaten large button battery's in order for the oxidation to cause lethal harm
i've taken a codine and tramadol overdose of 40 pills
i've drank a full bottle of morphine after a 24 hour fast
i've tried the exit bag method and i just fell asleep and woke up 30 mins later feeling COMPLETELY FINE.
i've chewed on several fentanyl patches for hours to cause them to disperse into the blood stream quicker
i've even eaten 5 spoonfuls of salt and waited for that to do something and it did nothing
i've drank water with potassium hydroxide and felt nothing
i've done all of these in 6 months
i had an ultrasound last week and IM ENTIRELY FINE, IN FACT MY LIVER IS GETTING BETTER??? there's literally NOTHING wrong after this…

i have never felt worse in my
life and it's purely down to the fact that i think i genuinely cannot kill my self. i think i'm genuinely stuck here and nothing i do will work. the amount of drugs i've taken should kill a horse but everytime i'm fine after a few days of stomach ache or headaches.

i am invincible, what do i do?
what else could i possibly
try? i mean i'd jump but to be honest with my survival rate i'm fully convinced i'd come out of that as a vegetable.
help me :(

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Weird. Well, did you try SN? Cyanide?

 

[alterationitfinds]

Weird. Well, did you try SN? Cyanide?

no, there's no viable SN source in the Uk

 

[Praestat_Mori]

no, there's no viable SN source in the Uk

Have you considered CO with charcoal? hanging?

 

[alterationitfinds]

Have you considered CO with charcoal? hanging?

i live in a small loft apartment with no doors, i have a pet that i refuse to take with me by CO2, but yes ive tried hanging, i passed out in partial and woke up and it was dark and i was fine, the rope was still attached to the railings and some pressure was still applied.
i think i have the worlds worst luck or the best survival mechanism

 

[Praestat_Mori]

i live in a small loft apartment with no doors, i have a pet that i refuse to take with me by CO2, but yes ive tried hanging, i passed out in partial and woke up and it was dark and i was fine, the rope was still attached to the railings and some pressure was still applied.
i think i have the worlds worst luck or the best survival mechanism

You can do CO in a tent outside your apartment, you can consider full suspension hanging, that works always, just a question of time if you cannot grab anything once hanging.

 

[oneeyed]

Wow, that's quite the list. I'd suggest hugging a nuclear bomb as it detonates but those are hard to come by and you may turn into the hulk or something.

 

[alterationitfinds]

You can do CO in a tent outside your apartment, you can consider full suspension hanging, that works always, just a question of time if you cannot grab anything once hanging.

putting a tent up outside isn't really viable for a block of flats in england, probably be harassed or mugged before i died. and my entire loft flat is my like 5 inches above exact height so no room for hanging

Wow, that's quite the list. I'd suggest hugging a nuclear bomb as it detonates but those are hard to come by and you may turn into the hulk or something.

i might just have to try that, either that or i'll go to chernobyl on holiday and start eating things

 

[FuneralCry]

It's so inhumane how there isn't the option to just easily leave this existence in peace, it sounds so dreadful what you've been through. But anyway I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for, I really hate how there isn't a straightforward way just to be free.

 

[sash]

You could put a tent in your room for CO and leave your windows open for your pet, same as doing it outside, maybe light it in the bathroom keep the smell contained.
Tho I'd hope you would ask someone to look after your pet for the night cos yr away or some excuse. Yr pet will feel you leaving and yr pain as you do. What if yr not found for days it'll be in distress, hungry, toilet mess.
Sorry not wrote that to make you feel bad but please think of your beloved pet. I see you care about them.

 

[alterationitfinds]

You could put a tent in your room for CO and leave your windows open for your pet, same as doing it outside, maybe light it in the bathroom keep the smell contained.
Tho I'd hope you would ask someone to look after your pet for the night cos yr away or some excuse. Yr pet will feel you leaving and yr pain as you do. What if yr not found for days it'll be in distress, hungry, toilet mess.
Sorry not wrote that to make you feel bad but please think of your beloved pet. I see you care about them.

the bathroom doesn't have a lockable door, it's just an archway with swinging barn like doors, i'll have to leave my pet away for the night but the problem with that is if i fail, i won't have the opportunity for someone else to have my pet again because everyone i know is super busy.
this is super stressful. i've acquired 3 in date fentanyl patches that i'm going to try tonight, i've been downing the bacardi aswell so hopefully, 3 patches has to be enough at the same time

 

[MrThe]

Despite the Nihilism philosophy in these forums, I think the universe is probably giving you a sign. For me, listening to music is a very efficient way to distract yourself from the world, a way to feel different. Personally my favorite music is Waltz of the Flowers, so I would urge you to listen to its beautiful melodies before ctb.

 

[alterationitfinds]

Despite the Nihilism philosophy in these forums, I think the universe is probably giving you a sign. For me, listening to music is a very efficient way to distract yourself from the world, a way to feel different. Personally my favorite music is Waltz of the Flowers, so I would urge you to listen to its beautiful melodies before ctb.

a sign from the universe to stay is all well and good but when the universe is also constantly putting me through serious traumas and heartbreak and loss and grief, i think the universe might be contradicting itself.
i'm starting to think the universe doesn't deserve a say in the matter lol
thanks for the music rec

 

[MrThe]

The toughest times build the strongest people. Think about this, a diamond, to become a diamond has to be put through immense pressure and temperatures. The universe is constantly pushing you up from your worst moments, so I have little doubt one day you'll become diamond

a sign from the universe to stay is all well and good but when the universe is also constantly putting me through serious traumas and heartbreak and loss and grief, i think the universe might be contradicting itself.
i'm starting to think the universe doesn't deserve a say in the matter lol
thanks for the music rec

I forgot to quote, sorry. Also no problem, classical music really binds to me, especially that Waltz. Its still a little out of my reach, so Ill try and do that before ctb

 

[alterationitfinds]

The toughest times build the strongest people. Think about this, a diamond, to become a diamond has to be put through immense pressure and temperatures. The universe is constantly pushing you up from your worst moments, so I have little doubt one day you'll become diamond

I forgot to quote, sorry. Also no problem, classical music really binds to me, especially that Waltz. Its still a little out of my reach, so Ill try and do that before ctb

i've got the fentanyl now, i suppose if this doesn't work tonight like the rest haven't then i'll accept that there must be a reason i'm failing despite all my efforts
thankyou for being so lovely :)

 

[MrThe]

Have you listened to the music?

i've got the fentanyl now, i suppose if this doesn't work tonight like the rest haven't then i'll accept that there must be a reason i'm failing despite all my efforts
thankyou for being so lovely :)

Pains my heart to see you go... Just know that I'll miss you.

 

[alterationitfinds]

Have you listened to the music?

Pains my heart to see you go... Just know that I'll miss you.

not yet, i'm downstairs trying to finish this bottle of bacardi before i go up and put the patches on, and then i'll close my eyes and it's down to luck if i wake up again, i'll listen to your song once i'm in bed and ready to close my eyes :/
there's comfort in what i'm doing knowing that it won't get any more peaceful than this

 

[MrThe]

I recommend the version in youtube from Rosseau. The beginning you can kinda hear the theme, then at around 1:00 it starts to get really beautiful
Its a sort of you kinda have to wait a bit until you start to really feel the music.

 

[Stormy Raine]

I won't even mention my poorly attempts because yours sound way better than mines I can't believe you're still here, that's awful. I think the worst part of any attempt is finally having the courage to do it and you mental prepare and lay down and wait to die, but only to wake up and find out you're still alive I don't know why your plans aren't working they sure sound like great ones, and I'm sorry to say, it sounds like your health will never decline and mines won't either. I guess we are all just stuck here, invincible

 

[alterationitfinds]

I won't even mention my poorly attempts because yours sound way better than mines I can't believe you're still here, that's awful. I think the worst part of any attempt is finally having the courage to do it and you mental prepare and lay down and wait to die, but only to wake up and find out you're still alive I don't know why your plans aren't working they sure sound like great ones, and I'm sorry to say, it sounds like your health will never decline and mines won't either. I guess we are all just stuck here, invincible

i find myself so confused when i read threads about how such and such works because the human body is so fragile…
it's absolutely not fragile in the slightest, not even a little bit at all.
the human body is insanely impressive and most of the time ctb is very luck based and not about planning or skill.

 

[Stormy Raine]

People leave blueprints of how they ctb but they never work for me! My luck and biggest fear is I'll be stuck somewhere paralyzed and locked in my body and waiting to die, that's the only reason I haven't tried again. I'm shocked the morphine didn't take you out

 

[alterationitfinds]

People leave blueprints of how they ctb but they never work for me! My luck and biggest fear is I'll be stuck somewhere paralyzed and locked in my body and waiting to die, that's the only reason I haven't tried again. I'm shocked the morphine didn't take you out

nevermind the morphine, i can put that down to bad luck, but fentanyl? 75mg an hour? multiple? i could probably kill a grizzly bear with that. that's not just bad luck that's something going on. fentanyl is 50x stronger than morphine

 

[Stormy Raine]

nevermind the morphine, i can put that down to bad luck, but fentanyl? 75mg an hour? multiple? i could probably kill a grizzly bear with that. that's not just bad luck that's something going on. fentanyl is 50x stronger than morphine

I wish I could get that stuff, I think I can make it work. Did you fast before? Even if you did or didn't the fact you're still alive is incredible??

 

[wiinterfrost]

hi, how's it going? did it work this time?

 

[MrThe]

hi, how's it going? did it work this time?

I would assume so, he cant awnser you after its worked

 

[Ampsvx123]

U kill a liver with sugar, sugar pies.

 

[Gonnerr]

Fly to himalaya mountains and jump from a cliff, you should be gone, if not , you will die from hypothermia at the botttom.