Help - how do you cope with knowing what your friends/family will go through

[waterbaby100]

We are supposed to leave our home on Saturday. I don't know if I can hold off my ctb until then. Is is better to go before and leave my partner the choice to stay where we are (have friends etc) or to stay with them for a few more weeks when we go. They will be devastated either way. I just feel so lost. How do others cope with what they will leave behind

 

[WatchmeBurn]

Waiting for my parents to die.

Assuming my relationship will have collapsed by then.

Sister will just have to manage, because I cannot wait a whole lifetime (we're close in age). We aren't that close anyway, so I think she'd be able to get over it.

Not got any friends.

 

[waterbaby100]

Sorry to hear that. It seems so unfair to live in pain just to avoid the pain you'll cause others

 

[fkyou]

They are already going threw a lot because of me..it doesn't change anything

 

[MeowWantsToGoHome]

I reason with myself (very selfishly so) that it won't be my problem. When I'm dead, I'll have no concept or feelings about anyone here anymore. It won't concern me. Also I very much believe they'll be so much better off without me here. I'm a leech.

I still feel bad, as I think most people would/do, but what can I say? I matter too, and staying around because people I care about would be sad to see me go isn't enough of a reason in my eyes.

 

[Redacted24]

I also find it difficult to reconcile what I want for myself and hurting others (which I don't want to do)
For me, my preparations include a preliminary phase of distancing myself from anyone that might care. Physically relocating to a different place, slowly losing contact by not answering calls/ emails promptly or at all... then once they've stopped reaching out I can just disappear.
It's time consuming but my way to not hurt anyone else.

 

[melonpan]

I convince myself that they'll soon realise it was better for me to die than keep being a waste

 

[depressed-pos]

i'm not sure if it is how i "cope" with everything, but with me trying to CTB soon, i just keep imagining how everything will be further down the line for everyone. i know they will come to terms with it, however long that may take, and at that point realize just how immense the suffering actually was. i'm absolutely not saying it won't hurt them, it will. but i imagine at some point they will eventually take solace that we aren't in that much pain anymore, at least this is my genuine hope

 

[DefyGravity]

How do you stop living for others? It feels like I'm only here to serve others. People only talk to me when they want something. No friends. Even my mom only talks to me if she needs me to fix something. I'm so alone.

 

[LostLily]

Trying to exhaust all options becuase I take the final step. That way they at least know I tried

 

[blood-orange]

I'm hoping that they realise how much less I'm going to suffer if i'm not alive anymore.
I'm only considering it now because my mum died last year and although it was a horrible experience, it hasn't completely mentally destroyed my dad or my sister. I'm hoping that they realise that, like her (she had cancer), because i'm dead i'm not in pain anymore.
Of course I can't control how they feel about the situation. So other than that i just have to detach myself and not care what distress i cause to others by doing this.