Hello

[OneBigBlur]

I've been lurking on here for a while but didn't join until today, figured I'd just say hello. My exit is planned for this coming Spring and I'm thankful I found this place and a reliable method(SN) so I won't have to suffer anymore. In the mean time I plan on drowning myself in books to get through the Winter.

 

[MissNietzsche]

Out of curiosity, why are you waiting until spring?

 

[Empty Smile]

Welcome to the darkest corner of the internet. Sad to see you here(seriously).

Everyone here are helpful friendly folks. We give advice to you or answer your questions.

Allow me to give your your first piece of advice... Stay away from @Stan as he doesn't share his popcorn. :)

 

[Stan]

Stay away from @Stan as he doesn't share his popcorn. :)

 

[OneBigBlur]

Out of curiosity, why are you waiting until spring?

I'm waiting for my Meto to arrive in a couple weeks but the main reason is because my family will be on vacation in the Spring with the exception of a brother/sister who does not live with me. This time frame will be my only opportunity to CTB without being interrupted for at least 12 hours which should hopefully guarantee my exit.

I could also attempt during New Years since my family will be out but it's too risky because I'll have half that time, maybe even less.

Welcome to the darkest corner of the internet. Sad to see you here(seriously).

Nothing sad about it to me, I'm relieved. Thanks for the reply.

 

[Stan]

I've been lurking on here for a while but didn't join until today, figured I'd just say hello.

Hi - i hope you find the information and support that you are looking for here. Welcome to the forum

 

[Moonicide]

Welcome! I'm glad SS was able to provide you with resources that will help bring you comfort and peace in the end, as it has done the same for me as well. When I joined I was so relieved to have found this community. To not be alone, and have so many people just be so loving, caring, and accepting.
Just know we're here for you. You're not alone...

 

[awfullife]

Hey Onebigblur - I'm glad you have a plan and are comfortable with it. Are you comfortable sharing your reasons for wanting to CTB?

 

[OneBigBlur]

Hey Onebigblur - I'm glad you have a plan and are comfortable with it. Are you comfortable sharing your reasons for wanting to CTB?

That's a complex question but the main reason is loneliness. I've never been happy a day in my life because of a traumatic past and because of the constant rejection that comes with falling outside of society's norms. I will never be able to hold a full time job to take care of myself because of my trauma symptoms and I still live with the people who spent my entire childhood abusing me. I do not want to die because I hate myself or anything like that but because I've always lived in constant suffering and because there's no escape from my circumstances. As much as I wish I could find love in this world I know that it isn't possible when you are broken and unable to function within the confines of society. Nobody values you if you're "negative", can't hold a job, or don't have money and there's a certain point that you get tired of the shallowness and materialism that comes with existing in this world. Also, I have sharp pains all over my body from Fibromyalgia which is also tied to trauma and there is no cure for that.