Hello/Question about methanol

[jeroen]

Hi, took me a minute to get on this forum, but here I am. I'm new here so I'm not really familiar with this forum, so I'm just gonna go off and hope that it's appropriate. I apologize if this is not what's up.

I've struggled with anxiety and depression for a little longer than half my life (I'm 27) and I'm really really going through a tough time. This crap comes in waves over the years but it's getting so damn tough, I honestly don't think I can do it anymore. These episodes go from 1-5 on a scale of 1-10 and it's getting harder and harder to wait for that 5. And these past few weeks/months have been particularly hard because I can usually sleep off the hardest (1) parts. It's really not getting any better even though I'm continuously trying with psychologists and psychiatrists over the past 10 years. I honestly want to stop trying because it's just taking too much toll on me but I find it really really hard. I really don't know what to do at this point, I tried to explore the more positive options, but I've been drinking the methanol I've been saving for months tonight And I just don't know anymore. I'm just hoping someone will confirm that I will die tonight but I'm not really sure that it's strong enough.

I'm fucking sorry.

 

[been_there]

Hi Jeroen. We all feel for you going through such difficulties and I hope we can support you. Depression is so very hard to deal with day to day and many here are dealing with it themselves and will respond.

Please type methanol into the search box (top right of screen), to read lots of posts and information. Apparently if it doesn't work you can go blind. How much have you drunk so far?

 

[Soul]

@jeroen, I'm sorry you've been struggling so and I wouldn't want you to inadvertently make your situation worse. As @been_there said, you can read about methanol by putting the term in the search gizmo, and you can research other methods by looking through the thread called "list of resources". I know you're weary but it's no good rushing things and ending up with worse problems.

(((Hugs)))

 

[dreamsofdestruction]

but I've been drinking the methanol I've been saving for months tonight

Holy shit, I hope he called an ambulance... blindness is certainly not making anything easier.

 

[Thorn]

I have said that word maybe three times in my entire life, but I truly am sorry that you chose the methanol. Formaldehyde poisoning is horrifying.

 

[been_there]

https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/002680.htm

If you don't know what you're doing here, call local emergency services NOW. From the link above :

If you're in the US : If you or someone you are with has an exposure, call your local emergency number (such as 911), or your local poison center can be reached directly by calling the national toll-free Poison Help hotline (1-800-222-1222) from anywhere in the United States. They will instruct.

Methanol is extremely poisonous. As little as 2 tablespoons (30 milliliters) can be deadly to a child. About 2 to 8 ounces (60 to 240 milliliters) can be deadly for an adult. Blindness is common and often permanent despite medical care. Intake of methanol affects multiple organs. Organ damage may be permanent. How well the person does depends on how much poison is swallowed and how soon treatment is received.

 

[KnightOfEnceladus]

DO NOT DRINK METHANOL. You'll survive it but go blind and suffer hideously.

 

[Thorn]

Formic acid and formaldehyde to which it breaks down, deal some brutal damage to organs, apart from eyes. Two years ago I saw a homeless man in front of supermarket, drinking it. He seemed to have some eyesight, but was basically paralyzed. The pain this stuff causes, is often lights out. I knew some people who could drink mostly anything that could catch a flame, but they were chronic alcoholics and knew what they were doing.
Our buddy is out, and I have a bad feeling about this...

 

[BridgeJumper]

Omg, please no.
Its been a long time since I felt this bad for someone :(