gianni rage
Member
- Oct 23, 2020
- 13
I hesitated in starting another "new member" thread....but there there doesnt seem to be any specific place on this site where one might introduce himself, so I shall proceed...
I have written many thousands of words about "ctb" as many folks put it over the years, and have never presented the topic
independently of a greater societal critique, as I believe it is impossible to apprehend this act unless it is viewed in a context larger than that of clinicians; that complete exclusion of even the faintest possibility that such a decision may actually be a rational one made by a rational mind and motivated by something besides hopeless medical scenarios involving excruciating pain or brutally reduced quality of life....
But in this country such a thing is impossible...On the one side there is the ego of the American psychiatrist, who believes he/she can "fix" anything short of rabid schizophrenia or advanced dementia, "successful treatment" basically meaning the provisional patching up of a tattered psyche just enough for it to continue another miserable day, and on the other side, the shrill, hysterical hypocrisy of "traditional" (pre-modern, archaic, anachronistic) morality that fervidly upholds the "sanctity" of life, as long as it remains in the abstract because it actually couldn't give a shit about the living....
Any environment where these two cudgels do not prevail is a rare and worthy place, and naturally sites such as SS have been largely hounded out of existence or forced to go virtually "underground" to the murky precincts of the Dark Web ---it does not surprise me to learn there is a FB campaign against this site, led by a grieving parent who is too cowardly to own up to her own obliviousness and must find a culprit....
I realize I am not saying much about myself, and will in time, but I like for people to understand me through my writing---this was from a piece (never published) written in 2017...I am very interested in others' feedback, so please to not hesitate to be honest...
"There used to be a group of sites that were set up by and for what they were calling "the self-deliverance community"---people who believed that whether one was afflicted with an agonizing, terminal illness, or one experienced life as an unending agonizing affliction, cutting that suffering short by design was every individual's right and access to information regarding it---aside from hysterical, judgmental "help" sites---was a necessary and humane thing----IOW, people who were not looking for "help" but were looking for suggestions, tools, advice etc---The prevailing attitude about this in our culture is unbelievably sadistic: "You are sick, let us help you, you must not do this, you must not do this----but if you do try, we will make sure that you have no information so that you will end up in a coma or a wheelchair because that is what you deserve since you don't value life"----this pretty much sums it up----They went on this crusade to shut these sites down, and did the suicide rates decline? Umm... No. They just continued climbing.
People are not killing themselves because they are being told how to do it safely. People are killing themselves because life today is empty and ugly and meaningless and the human condition just deteriorates further and further while those who own everything continue to make the world a sty for hundreds of millions and do so with impunity and with the collaboration of those who claim they are there to help people.
And it is a worldwide phenomena, when one nation or region's rate slightly levels off, another's begins to soar, and suddenly it is American youth in 2009, Italy in 2010, then French farmers in 2012 then New Zealanders and Australians in 2013, then American men of all ages in 2014, then it is Iceland, Scotland, China, and the following year, young Russian males, etc---But none of these other rates ever actually REVERSE or DECLINE---they just stall for a bit, so essentially more and more human beings take their lives every year and there is no indication on the horizon that these alarmingly large numbers may not one day become massive---and these rates are overwhelmingly centered on the First World---We can not say if they are less in the Third World, it is just harder to judge or monitor, with SO MUCH unnatural death in those countries at such early ages it is impossibly murky---
But in terms of the developed countries, especially the US, this histrionic morality persists about all of it---essentially because if they were really to address the causal factors, they would have to say that "Our culture is a twisted, stealthily murderous one---it drives people to their deaths, everyone knows it, no will admit it, because if this was acknowledged, then by deduction, those who reaped the greatest rewards from this culture really are the ones with the bloodiest hands"
And none of the bloody-handed will allow this to be pointed out.
So the "helpers", the "mood managers" and the rest, feed people shibboleths like "you never know what tomorrow will bring " and "permanent solution to temporary problems" when many, many people know EXACTLY what the fucking next day will bring, and problems, generally speaking, are NEVER temporary, one ends, another start, they overlap, the amplify one another, while you are busy unraveling them, the worst, darkest, vast demonic crisis looms and you don't even see it because you are courageously tackling the two smaller problems, and then patting yourself on the back for them, just as the bat-winged abomination of a crisis swoops down and grabs you in its fangs....
But the psychiatric social worker gives you a constipated little smile and tells you suicide is a "permanent solution to a temporary problem"
Okay, well, how about homicide you stupid bitch?
Anyway, I really wish I could find these sites again---although, typically, as is AMERICA, the term "self-deliverance" has been hijacked to mean something cheap and Christian...I need suggestions and rational discussion with anonymous non-judgmental people who are not going to say things like " Don't you understand how many people love you?" (aaaaaaand, how does this alter a damn thing about the world? how has it altered a damn thing in my life?)
I need people who will give me advice and information about science and mechanics, and practical considerations...
I know that I have no intention of ever suffering through any long, debilitating illness again---and I don't really care about the prognosis...There is only one treatment I would be interested in and I know that no ordinary doctor would offer that...
It is so infuriating that the authorities interfered---I remember these sites being run with a great deal of integrity, they did not just accept anybody; very young people, obviously unhinged people who were clearly off their meds or something would be urged to go somewhere else, and even the individuals that were ultimately allowed in, they were asked about their lives and situations, why they were going this way, that they should know that they could re-think this at any time etc....
IOW, treated like adults. Adults who were just no longer interested in living and didn't deserve to be treated like children who were not in their right minds.
I have written many thousands of words about "ctb" as many folks put it over the years, and have never presented the topic
independently of a greater societal critique, as I believe it is impossible to apprehend this act unless it is viewed in a context larger than that of clinicians; that complete exclusion of even the faintest possibility that such a decision may actually be a rational one made by a rational mind and motivated by something besides hopeless medical scenarios involving excruciating pain or brutally reduced quality of life....
But in this country such a thing is impossible...On the one side there is the ego of the American psychiatrist, who believes he/she can "fix" anything short of rabid schizophrenia or advanced dementia, "successful treatment" basically meaning the provisional patching up of a tattered psyche just enough for it to continue another miserable day, and on the other side, the shrill, hysterical hypocrisy of "traditional" (pre-modern, archaic, anachronistic) morality that fervidly upholds the "sanctity" of life, as long as it remains in the abstract because it actually couldn't give a shit about the living....
Any environment where these two cudgels do not prevail is a rare and worthy place, and naturally sites such as SS have been largely hounded out of existence or forced to go virtually "underground" to the murky precincts of the Dark Web ---it does not surprise me to learn there is a FB campaign against this site, led by a grieving parent who is too cowardly to own up to her own obliviousness and must find a culprit....
I realize I am not saying much about myself, and will in time, but I like for people to understand me through my writing---this was from a piece (never published) written in 2017...I am very interested in others' feedback, so please to not hesitate to be honest...
"There used to be a group of sites that were set up by and for what they were calling "the self-deliverance community"---people who believed that whether one was afflicted with an agonizing, terminal illness, or one experienced life as an unending agonizing affliction, cutting that suffering short by design was every individual's right and access to information regarding it---aside from hysterical, judgmental "help" sites---was a necessary and humane thing----IOW, people who were not looking for "help" but were looking for suggestions, tools, advice etc---The prevailing attitude about this in our culture is unbelievably sadistic: "You are sick, let us help you, you must not do this, you must not do this----but if you do try, we will make sure that you have no information so that you will end up in a coma or a wheelchair because that is what you deserve since you don't value life"----this pretty much sums it up----They went on this crusade to shut these sites down, and did the suicide rates decline? Umm... No. They just continued climbing.
People are not killing themselves because they are being told how to do it safely. People are killing themselves because life today is empty and ugly and meaningless and the human condition just deteriorates further and further while those who own everything continue to make the world a sty for hundreds of millions and do so with impunity and with the collaboration of those who claim they are there to help people.
And it is a worldwide phenomena, when one nation or region's rate slightly levels off, another's begins to soar, and suddenly it is American youth in 2009, Italy in 2010, then French farmers in 2012 then New Zealanders and Australians in 2013, then American men of all ages in 2014, then it is Iceland, Scotland, China, and the following year, young Russian males, etc---But none of these other rates ever actually REVERSE or DECLINE---they just stall for a bit, so essentially more and more human beings take their lives every year and there is no indication on the horizon that these alarmingly large numbers may not one day become massive---and these rates are overwhelmingly centered on the First World---We can not say if they are less in the Third World, it is just harder to judge or monitor, with SO MUCH unnatural death in those countries at such early ages it is impossibly murky---
But in terms of the developed countries, especially the US, this histrionic morality persists about all of it---essentially because if they were really to address the causal factors, they would have to say that "Our culture is a twisted, stealthily murderous one---it drives people to their deaths, everyone knows it, no will admit it, because if this was acknowledged, then by deduction, those who reaped the greatest rewards from this culture really are the ones with the bloodiest hands"
And none of the bloody-handed will allow this to be pointed out.
So the "helpers", the "mood managers" and the rest, feed people shibboleths like "you never know what tomorrow will bring " and "permanent solution to temporary problems" when many, many people know EXACTLY what the fucking next day will bring, and problems, generally speaking, are NEVER temporary, one ends, another start, they overlap, the amplify one another, while you are busy unraveling them, the worst, darkest, vast demonic crisis looms and you don't even see it because you are courageously tackling the two smaller problems, and then patting yourself on the back for them, just as the bat-winged abomination of a crisis swoops down and grabs you in its fangs....
But the psychiatric social worker gives you a constipated little smile and tells you suicide is a "permanent solution to a temporary problem"
Okay, well, how about homicide you stupid bitch?
Anyway, I really wish I could find these sites again---although, typically, as is AMERICA, the term "self-deliverance" has been hijacked to mean something cheap and Christian...I need suggestions and rational discussion with anonymous non-judgmental people who are not going to say things like " Don't you understand how many people love you?" (aaaaaaand, how does this alter a damn thing about the world? how has it altered a damn thing in my life?)
I need people who will give me advice and information about science and mechanics, and practical considerations...
I know that I have no intention of ever suffering through any long, debilitating illness again---and I don't really care about the prognosis...There is only one treatment I would be interested in and I know that no ordinary doctor would offer that...
It is so infuriating that the authorities interfered---I remember these sites being run with a great deal of integrity, they did not just accept anybody; very young people, obviously unhinged people who were clearly off their meds or something would be urged to go somewhere else, and even the individuals that were ultimately allowed in, they were asked about their lives and situations, why they were going this way, that they should know that they could re-think this at any time etc....
IOW, treated like adults. Adults who were just no longer interested in living and didn't deserve to be treated like children who were not in their right minds.
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