Aloken
I choose love
- Jan 25, 2021
- 280
I've been lurking for some time and I've decided to create an account here.
I feel so grateful and relieved that a place like this exists. It's like an oasis in a desert full of people that just don't get it and don't even try to. I cannot talk to anyone about my feelings and views, because they don't understand and of course I don't intend to end up in a psych ward.
In early 2020 everything started to go downhill in my life. It's been the worst year of my short life, by far (I'm a youngish adult). Before this, I wasn't the happiest person in the world, I had problems and I was a high functioning (is that even a thing) depressed person with relationship OCD that only now I figured out I have it, but considering the changes in my life now, I regret every moment I took for granted. Those were really the good times, even the bad ones. Due to anxiety, I don't feel comfortable talking about what exactly went wrong. Lots of stuff went wrong and I don't see a way out without having to end it all and hopefully soon. If there is a way out and I'm gonna have to wait a lot to see things getting better, no thanks. I'm tired. And it's such a damn shame because I really really really loved life. I still do, just not my life. I had just started loving the Studio Ghibli movies and Japan.. I had just started turning my life around and succeeding in my uni exams.
Anyway, I wanted to kind of introduce myself. I don't really know what else to say, so if you have a question feel free to ask me. That sounds kind of ridiculous, I'm nothing special, but anyway. As I previously said, I don't feel ready to explain the reason(s) for me having to ctb. Maybe when I have established a full proof method.
Thank you if you read this and thank you to whoever created this place, it's the only place that makes me feel better. I wish they leave this place and us alone. Bye all!
I feel so grateful and relieved that a place like this exists. It's like an oasis in a desert full of people that just don't get it and don't even try to. I cannot talk to anyone about my feelings and views, because they don't understand and of course I don't intend to end up in a psych ward.
In early 2020 everything started to go downhill in my life. It's been the worst year of my short life, by far (I'm a youngish adult). Before this, I wasn't the happiest person in the world, I had problems and I was a high functioning (is that even a thing) depressed person with relationship OCD that only now I figured out I have it, but considering the changes in my life now, I regret every moment I took for granted. Those were really the good times, even the bad ones. Due to anxiety, I don't feel comfortable talking about what exactly went wrong. Lots of stuff went wrong and I don't see a way out without having to end it all and hopefully soon. If there is a way out and I'm gonna have to wait a lot to see things getting better, no thanks. I'm tired. And it's such a damn shame because I really really really loved life. I still do, just not my life. I had just started loving the Studio Ghibli movies and Japan.. I had just started turning my life around and succeeding in my uni exams.
Anyway, I wanted to kind of introduce myself. I don't really know what else to say, so if you have a question feel free to ask me. That sounds kind of ridiculous, I'm nothing special, but anyway. As I previously said, I don't feel ready to explain the reason(s) for me having to ctb. Maybe when I have established a full proof method.
Thank you if you read this and thank you to whoever created this place, it's the only place that makes me feel better. I wish they leave this place and us alone. Bye all!
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