Hey everybody.
So just yesterday I had one of my close friends come to town and we went to a concert together. It was real fun but he told me that he and his wife just bought a new house and making big changes in his life. And whenever I hear something like this, it just makes me feel really awful and depressed. Nothing against him, I am happy for him. I just feel like every time I hear someone is doing well or starting something new and exciting in their life, I just get so down on myself because I am the exact opposite. After just getting out a long term relationship, I feel very isolated. More so than I ever have in my life. And on top of that, work is not going so well. And a lot of the things that used to make me happy just really aren't doing it for me anymore. If they do, it's for a short time and then I end up feeling sad and depressed. Which leads me to a day like today, where I just feel very down on myself and scared of the future. The anxiety I have right now has been lingering for a few months and it's impossible to shape. I just feel like I am at a weird stand still in my life. Definitely been having thoughts of CTB. I am not in the mindframe of acting on it at the moment but I definitely have that feeling of is things don't change, this might just be the end for me. I dunno, Im just posting my thoughts to see if others feel the same way. And if so, how do you go about dealing with it.
Thanks a bunch. Glad to have this space to share these thoughts with you.
So just yesterday I had one of my close friends come to town and we went to a concert together. It was real fun but he told me that he and his wife just bought a new house and making big changes in his life. And whenever I hear something like this, it just makes me feel really awful and depressed. Nothing against him, I am happy for him. I just feel like every time I hear someone is doing well or starting something new and exciting in their life, I just get so down on myself because I am the exact opposite. After just getting out a long term relationship, I feel very isolated. More so than I ever have in my life. And on top of that, work is not going so well. And a lot of the things that used to make me happy just really aren't doing it for me anymore. If they do, it's for a short time and then I end up feeling sad and depressed. Which leads me to a day like today, where I just feel very down on myself and scared of the future. The anxiety I have right now has been lingering for a few months and it's impossible to shape. I just feel like I am at a weird stand still in my life. Definitely been having thoughts of CTB. I am not in the mindframe of acting on it at the moment but I definitely have that feeling of is things don't change, this might just be the end for me. I dunno, Im just posting my thoughts to see if others feel the same way. And if so, how do you go about dealing with it.
Thanks a bunch. Glad to have this space to share these thoughts with you.
