Venting Having lost literally all of my old friends...even though I understand why, it's still frustrating.

[ConfusedHurting2632]

By "old friends" I most likely mean "old acquaintances." It sort of feels like I've never had a true friend in all of my 21 years being alive. Especially since I rarely, if ever hung out with any of those people outside of a school setting. In fact I could probably count those instances on less than one hand or so. But regardless of what you want to refer to those people as, I still lost them.

The reason I lost them was rather simple actually. I was put on some really bad mental health medications and ended up doing and saying some really dumb, crazy, absurd shit that scared everyone off.

The first wave of medications that made me do or say crazy shit were Lexapro, Abilify, and Latuda together. At first they seemed to work fine, but eventually I shat in the bathtub in the middle of a shower, and began playing with, smelling, and eating the poop. TMI perhaps but brutal honesty here. Normally when "sober" I wouldn't even imagine to do this, but while on those medications it just seemed so normal. The worst part though was I proceeded to tell EVERYONE on my social media: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Discord, etc, about this, and of course half or more of all the people I knew proceeded to block me and cut ties with me for this. I would too if a "friend" came with this sort of talk out of the blue, so I don't blame them.

The second wave of medications that made me do or say crazy shit was just Effexor XR by itself. At first it also seemed to work fine, but eventually it was like I morphed into a literal demon, and I became super aggressive both in real life and through social media, and I began to send death threats towards literally everyone and also began to make up stories about having killed people. It got so bad and intense the police literally had to get involved and take me to the mental hospital. After I got out of the mental hospital I looked on my social media and saw that literally EVERYONE had blocked me. Like literally NO ONE was left that didn't block me. With the poop thing at least more or less half the people were left...this time literally no one was left. And I don't blame them. The poop thing was definitely stupid and gross, but at least it was more innocent and didn't hurt anyone except maybe myself. Now making threats on people's lives and making up stories about having killed people...MUCH more severe.

These days on my social media I have like maybe...4 or 5 acquaintances who didn't block me? But it doesn't really make a difference because I literally can't think of anything to talk about with them anyway. So I don't really access my social media anymore.

The worst part about all this though is that it wasn't even entirely my fault. It was more the fault of whoever prescribed the medications to me. The medications basically made me go into a really psychotic state. Though to be fair I guess they couldn't have predicted the medications would have such a negative effect on me, so I guess it wasn't really anyone's fault in the end. Just an unfortunate set of events that happened how it did. Though this probably could've been avoided if I just didn't access my social media when I realized I was going crazy, though easier said than done, especially in hindsight. If I was going crazy in the first place I probably wouldn't have thought logically enough to just avoid social media in the first place.

Even though I call these people acquaintances instead of friends, and I wasn't really super close to any of them anyway; before at least I had the option to talk to them. Now I don't. Before I had the option to gradually get to know them better and become closer to them. Now I don't.

Overall, it's eh whatever I guess. I plan to die soon anyway, and someone who's going to die doesn't need friends or acquaintances. Even if I did manage to find some I likely wouldn't value them anyway as I don't even value myself. I didn't even really value the "old friends" I did lose, I'm just frustrated that the reason I lost them was because of the psychotic state I was in when I took those mental health medications. I did really stupid shit and lost them. But other than that it's just whatever.

 

[almaranthine]

I think this is the most disturbing reaction to mental health meds that I've ever read. Absolutely brutal. I'm sorry this happened to you. I went through a pretty severe manic episode in which I left town without a wallet or a valid license and just drove multiple states away. Without an ID, even though I had money, I couldn't get a motel room, even a sketchy one. So I had to sleep in my car, but in my state of extreme paranoia and delusions it was very difficult to get any sleep, so my state of mind declined with each passing hour. I eventually made it back home, only to find that I had been legitimately reported missing, on the news, and the article detailing my disappearance had been shared on Facebook and all these people I went to high school with, who I didn't even talk to anymore, were all up in my business flipping out about it. Then I proceeded to say some weird stuff about my trip and how I was spiritually led to take it and such. I know I sounded completely insane.
Edit meant to say: left without a phone or valid license oops

 

[ConfusedHurting2632]

I think this is the most disturbing reaction to mental health meds that I've ever read. Absolutely brutal. I'm sorry this happened to you. I went through a pretty severe manic episode in which I left town without a wallet or a valid license and just drove multiple states away. Without an ID, even though I had money, I couldn't get a motel room, even a sketchy one. So I had to sleep in my car, but in my state of extreme paranoia and delusions it was very difficult to get any sleep, so my state of mind declined with each passing hour. I eventually made it back home, only to find that I had been legitimately reported missing, on the news, and the article detailing my disappearance had been shared on Facebook and all these people I went to high school with, who I didn't even talk to anymore, were all up in my business flipping out about it. Then I proceeded to say some weird stuff about my trip and how I was spiritually led to take it and such. I know I sounded completely insane.
Edit meant to say: left with out a phone or valid license oops

Oh yes. While bad reactions or side effects to mental health meds are not super uncommon, they're usually not as extreme as the reactions I described. Absolutely brutal indeed. It's alright, it's just an unfortunate set of events that happened how it happened.

As for the story you described...obviously after my stories almost anything will seem mild in comparison, but yeah, that seems pretty bad too. Especially since you describe yourself as having driven not just one but MULTIPLE states away; which definitely takes a huge level of dedication. I myself would just fear getting lost, going that far away from home. Being unable to sleep due to delusions and paranoia seems fucking terrifying though. It also must've been rather scary to find out you've been legitimately been reported missing, on the news, and having had multiple articles shared on Facebook. You probably weren't expecting such a huge deal to be made out of it.

I'm low-key kind of jealous and surprised so many people cared about your "disappearance" though. I imagine if the same thing happened to me literally no one but my parents (exactly 2 people) would notice or care since I don't work or go to school or anything, and basically no one knows I exist anymore.

 

[Hollowman]

It absolutely was the psychiatrists fault. They know how dangerous the meds aka neurotoxins are and still hand them out like candy. Hopefully some day soon all these fuckers will be sued out of their jobs. They still promote the chemical imbalance theory which has NEVER been proven. Sorry that happened to you.

 

[ConfusedHurting2632]

It absolutely was the psychiatrists fault. They know how dangerous the meds aka neurotoxins are and still hand them out like candy. Hopefully some day soon all these fuckers will be sued out of their jobs. They still promote the chemical imbalance theory which has NEVER been proven. Sorry that happened to you.

While I have read several cases of mental health medications "literally saving people's lives" or "changing their lives for the better," as you can see from my stories it has been the exact opposite for me. I'm glad some people were able to change their lives for the better through meds, but it just doesn't seem plausible for my case.

I agree that even in the case of meds possibly helping out MOST people, they still shouldn't be handed out like candy because each individual person is different and what helps out one person can have extremely negative side effects for another person.

As for the chemical imbalance theory never being proven...I myself know pretty much nothing about the subject, but if it indeed has never been proven and psychiatrists are still promoting it, they truly are ignorant. And it's okay. It's just an unfortunate set of events that happened the way it did.

 

[almaranthine]

Oh yes. While bad reactions or side effects to mental health meds are not super uncommon, they're usually not as extreme as the reactions I described. Absolutely brutal indeed. It's alright, it's just an unfortunate set of events that happened how it happened.

As for the story you described...obviously after my stories almost anything will seem mild in comparison, but yeah, that seems pretty bad too. Especially since you describe yourself as having driven not just one but MULTIPLE states away; which definitely takes a huge level of dedication. I myself would just fear getting lost, going that far away from home. Being unable to sleep due to delusions and paranoia seems fucking terrifying though. It also must've been rather scary to find out you've been legitimately been reported missing, on the news, and having had multiple articles shared on Facebook. You probably weren't expecting such a huge deal to be made out of it.

I'm low-key kind of jealous and surprised so many people cared about your "disappearance" though. I imagine if the same thing happened to me literally no one but my parents (exactly 2 people) would notice or care since I don't work or go to school or anything, and basically no one knows I exist anymore.

there's still an article online about me going missing that comes up if my name is googled; it's upsetting to be honest. It was shocking to see that the story had been published and so many people knew about it. I didn't receive any heartfelt messages through, it was more like people were just reacting to the news being, "oh wow I knew her that's so crazy!" My family didn't really react or even question me as to why I left. They didn't concern themselves with my degenerated mental health at all, which was really sad. Someone should have tried to get me help. I would have been really concerned if my friend or sibling did what I did. I even checked myself into a hospital on that trip saying there's something wrong with me and I'm mentally not well but they merely charged me for a shitload of tests and kicked me out. If I did the same thing today, no one would report me gone. I don't even have any acquaintance type friends that would care either. I was pretty young when this happened to me, had just turned 22 so I still had active social media and some friends from college.

 

[actual_fox]

Thanks for the words of warning op. Meds can mess you up It seems. I never seen such psychotic reactions to them.

 

[conflagration]

Effexor should be forbidden, when I started taking it I felt for two weeks like on constant amphetamine power trip, I became impulsive and almost CTB. Withdrawals were miserable (and I took it only for one month).

 

[gimzero]

Its not an issue we all go alone.

 

[FuneralCry]

That certainly is really horrible what happened. It's quite terrifying how that medication is capable of causing so much harm.

 

[Hollowman]

Psychiatric Drugs: Neurotoxins that Do More Harm than Good

This article is by Dr Peter Breggin, MD PLEASE go to and bookmark Dr Peter Breggin’s website immediately. CLICK HERE. This is a psychiatrist who can save your life! There is a single scientif…

nationaladdictionnews.com

 

[makethepainstop]

By "old friends" I most likely mean "old acquaintances." It sort of feels like I've never had a true friend in all of my 21 years being alive. Especially since I rarely, if ever hung out with any of those people outside of a school setting. In fact I could probably count those instances on less than one hand or so. But regardless of what you want to refer to those people as, I still lost them.

The reason I lost them was rather simple actually. I was put on some really bad mental health medications and ended up doing and saying some really dumb, crazy, absurd shit that scared everyone off.

The first wave of medications that made me do or say crazy shit were Lexapro, Abilify, and Latuda together. At first they seemed to work fine, but eventually I shat in the bathtub in the middle of a shower, and began playing with, smelling, and eating the poop. TMI perhaps but brutal honesty here. Normally when "sober" I wouldn't even imagine to do this, but while on those medications it just seemed so normal. The worst part though was I proceeded to tell EVERYONE on my social media: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Discord, etc, about this, and of course half or more of all the people I knew proceeded to block me and cut ties with me for this. I would too if a "friend" came with this sort of talk out of the blue, so I don't blame them.

The second wave of medications that made me do or say crazy shit was just Effexor XR by itself. At first it also seemed to work fine, but eventually it was like I morphed into a literal demon, and I became super aggressive both in real life and through social media, and I began to send death threats towards literally everyone and also began to make up stories about having killed people. It got so bad and intense the police literally had to get involved and take me to the mental hospital. After I got out of the mental hospital I looked on my social media and saw that literally EVERYONE had blocked me. Like literally NO ONE was left that didn't block me. With the poop thing at least more or less half the people were left...this time literally no one was left. And I don't blame them. The poop thing was definitely stupid and gross, but at least it was more innocent and didn't hurt anyone except maybe myself. Now making threats on people's lives and making up stories about having killed people...MUCH more severe.

These days on my social media I have like maybe...4 or 5 acquaintances who didn't block me? But it doesn't really make a difference because I literally can't think of anything to talk about with them anyway. So I don't really access my social media anymore.

The worst part about all this though is that it wasn't even entirely my fault. It was more the fault of whoever prescribed the medications to me. The medications basically made me go into a really psychotic state. Though to be fair I guess they couldn't have predicted the medications would have such a negative effect on me, so I guess it wasn't really anyone's fault in the end. Just an unfortunate set of events that happened how it did. Though this probably could've been avoided if I just didn't access my social media when I realized I was going crazy, though easier said than done, especially in hindsight. If I was going crazy in the first place I probably wouldn't have thought logically enough to just avoid social media in the first place.

Even though I call these people acquaintances instead of friends, and I wasn't really super close to any of them anyway; before at least I had the option to talk to them. Now I don't. Before I had the option to gradually get to know them better and become closer to them. Now I don't.

Overall, it's eh whatever I guess. I plan to die soon anyway, and someone who's going to die doesn't need friends or acquaintances. Even if I did manage to find some I likely wouldn't value them anyway as I don't even value myself. I didn't even really value the "old friends" I did lose, I'm just frustrated that the reason I lost them was because of the psychotic state I was in when I took those mental health medications. I did really stupid shit and lost them. But other than that it's just whatever.

God how do these mentally health people prescribe all if these brain altering chemicals, and then act surprised when the patient flipps out? I don't think many of these mental health wonder drugs are all that wonderful. I'm sorry for your pain.