Having a reliable and painless method of suicide is immensely comforting and has helped me to live.

[ayb]

I've had two reliable methods of CTB for about six years now. Knowing that I'm not forced to live to 70 or 80 is so comforting. I can leave when I want to at anytime and I'm not trapped in life.
If I ultimately do not CTB and die a natural death then that's my choice as well. Or if I discard my methods down the road that's my choice too. What matters is autonomy and having the freedom to make a decision on whether or not to CTB.
Suicide prohibitionists will never understand the sheer comfort and relief this brings.

Hunter S. Thompson said it best: I would feel utterly trapped if I knew I couldn't kill myself at any time.

 

[pulleditnearlyoff]

Soooo true

 

[Placo]

I've had two reliable methods of CTB for about six years now. Knowing that I'm not forced to live to 70 or 80 is so comforting. I can leave when I want to at anytime and I'm not trapped in life.
If I ultimately do not CTB and die a natural death then that's my choice as well. Or if I discard my methods down the road that's my choice too. What matters is autonomy and having the freedom to make a decision on whether or not to CTB.
Suicide prohibitionists will never understand the sheer comfort this brings.

Hunter S. Thompson said it best: I would feel utterly trapped if I knew I couldn't kill myself at any time.

May I ask what methods these are?

 

[DeathSleep]

I feel this too.

 

[Themogger]

What method tho

 

[ayb]

May I ask what methods these are?

For safety and privacy reasons I won't disclose.

 

[exitingtothevoid]

Same, joining this site and researching methods has made me more at peace with life.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand why you'd feel relief at knowing you have the option, I wish you the best.

 

[cait_sith]

I also have two methods set up. It helps me with little things like I am not that afraid of opening letters now, at least not that often, but sadly it doesn't really have a effect on other areas, like I have no desire to "live life to the fullest" or do a bucket list or things like that. I just obsess about the methods all the time and if they will work and fantasise a lot about them, and I think my body punishes me for it with constant tiredness, like it's preemptively shutting down or something

 

[mpk]

I understand and really want to feel this way as well, i've got a chronic and progressive disease which will eventually lead me to become disabled before 35 (late 20s now). Living everyday with fear and stress trying to source SN in Australia. Hope to live life without regrets when I am able to find a reliable painless method.

 

[kyhoti]

I concur. My life has been out of control for so long. Finding some modicum of self-agency by having CTB plans has given me something to use as a coping tool. Barring miraculous intervention, I can leave any time I want. I am not trapped here.

 

[opheliaoveragain]

I've had two reliable methods of CTB for about six years now. Knowing that I'm not forced to live to 70 or 80 is so comforting. I can leave when I want to at anytime and I'm not trapped in life.
If I ultimately do not CTB and die a natural death then that's my choice as well. Or if I discard my methods down the road that's my choice too. What matters is autonomy and having the freedom to make a decision on whether or not to CTB.
Suicide prohibitionists will never understand the sheer comfort and relief this brings.

Hunter S. Thompson said it best: I would feel utterly trapped if I knew I couldn't kill myself at any time.

So fucking true. Working on weaving my own security blanket. This was so well said and encapsulates everything I think A LOT of us truly believe in, esp being here after all. Thank you for this post.

 

[SoulWhisperer]

You pretty much took full control of your very life now, happy for you.
I share your feelings in the post too. I want to at least secure myself a way in case I'll need it, everyone here should have a possibility to choose what to do about their life.

 

[F@#$]

The .357 retirement plan.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

The .357 retirement plan.

Budd Dwyer used a .357 magnum live on TV to suicide.

R. Budd Dwyer - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

 

[F@#$]

Budd Dwyer used a .357 magnum live on TV to suicide.

R. Budd Dwyer - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

I've seen that, there's a song written about it if I'm not mistaken.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Understandable. I'd also be at peace and comfort if I could access a peaceful and guaranteed method. Ideally, I'd rather have euthanasia be done on me as I know that I'd for certain be guaranteed to die if my dying process is being dealt by professionals rather than myself. The quote you put on the end is correct as well. I'm trapped because I don't have a peaceful way out of here. I'm literally a slave and I hate it. I can't free myself by killing myself as I don't have any painless and guaranteed methods to rely on

 

[ayb]

I understand and really want to feel this way as well, i've got a chronic and progressive disease which will eventually lead me to become disabled before 35 (late 20s now). Living everyday with fear and stress trying to source SN in Australia. Hope to live life without regrets when I am able to find a reliable painless method.

Are you just unable to find an SN vendor that ships to Aus? It's not illegal to possess and the cops cannot forcibly enter to seize it without a warrant. If they show up for a wellness check just be firm in denial and close the door.

 

[mpk]

Are you just unable to find an SN vendor that ships to Aus? It's not illegal to possess and the cops cannot forcibly enter to seize it without a warrant. If they show up for a wellness check just be firm in denial and close the door.

Yes and also Australia has really strict quarantine/border laws and that they will seize it even if I am able to find a vendor from overseas.

 

[ayb]

Yes and also Australia has really strict quarantine/border laws and that they will seize it even if I am able to find a vendor from overseas.

Stick around long enough and somebody will share deets of a reliable vendor that ships overseas. People are rightfully hesitant (imo) in sharing sources to new users because there's a lot of bad faith people.

 

[Rhymester]

Same for me. I have everything prepared for the SN method. Recently, I was able to get the last thing needed: antiemetics. It brings me so much relief knowing that I could be gone anytime.