VtubersAreMyLife
Member
- Nov 26, 2020
- 45
Just a quick vent, no need to read it or comment, I just wanted to post this somewhere to get it off my chest.
If I have to be honest, I might be one of the lucky few ones to have a family that really does care about me. It's a pretty big family, and everyone actually loves me. Like if I decide to stop working for the rest of my life, they would be willing to provide a home and food for me until I die (obviously would never do that because I never ask anything from anyone, I'd rather be homeless and starve to death then burden anyone), and that just makes wanting to ctb so much harder. I don't like being around my family because I feel really guilty for what I'm going to do soon, and it's actually crushing me. This past year I've been slowly acting a little bit of an asshole to make them hate me, barely ever talking to them to make them feel okay with wanting me gone. But it just doesn't work. I know theyll be crushed, but I need to do it. Ive been fighting with my mental illness for so long, and now its to a point where I cant function properly anymore. I still find it crazy anyone could go from happy and successful to downright suicidally depressed. Anyways I hope everyone had an amazing Christmas, because I sadly did.
If I have to be honest, I might be one of the lucky few ones to have a family that really does care about me. It's a pretty big family, and everyone actually loves me. Like if I decide to stop working for the rest of my life, they would be willing to provide a home and food for me until I die (obviously would never do that because I never ask anything from anyone, I'd rather be homeless and starve to death then burden anyone), and that just makes wanting to ctb so much harder. I don't like being around my family because I feel really guilty for what I'm going to do soon, and it's actually crushing me. This past year I've been slowly acting a little bit of an asshole to make them hate me, barely ever talking to them to make them feel okay with wanting me gone. But it just doesn't work. I know theyll be crushed, but I need to do it. Ive been fighting with my mental illness for so long, and now its to a point where I cant function properly anymore. I still find it crazy anyone could go from happy and successful to downright suicidally depressed. Anyways I hope everyone had an amazing Christmas, because I sadly did.