Having a drink first helpful?

[escapefromabuse]

Hi long time lurker first time poster. I'm "out" of an emotionally abusive relationship. It's a long story but this woman will chase me to the far ends of the afterlife to serve me more court papers and I've reached the end of my coping ability. She's destroyed me emotionally, spiritually and financially and she's not done yet. I need to escape.

After loads of research I've settled on partial suspension hanging. I like the idea of the siphon effect and will try that out when I'm ready. Hopefully by the end of the weekend. I've practiced, I've got a good anchor point and settled as many of my affairs as I can.

My question is, is it helpful to have a drink (or two or three) first?

 

[Ghost2211]

First off sorry to hear she's going so nuts on you. I can see how constant bombardment would wear you down.

I would not get drunk personally. For starters I want to leave this world lucid, and be sure of my choices. Second, and most important I don't want to mess it up and damage myself but live because I wasn't thinking and reacting clearly.

 

[Backwood_tilt]

First off sorry to hear she's going so nuts on you. I can see how constant bombardment would wear you down.

I would not get drunk personally. For starters I want to leave this world lucid, and be sure of my choices. Second, and most important I don't want to mess it up and damage myself but live because I wasn't thinking and reacting clearly.

i think you can drink to dull your nerves a bit. I did the few times I attempted, and I thought it helped.

But yeah too much liquor might mess up your coordination etc.

 

[MsMaudlin]

I think if you just have a couple you'll be Ok.

But, sorry it has come to this. Emotional abusive relationships are so damaging.

I'm here for you if you need to talk.

Love and peace ❤

 

[escapefromabuse]

I think if you just have a couple you'll be Ok.

But, sorry it has come to this. Emotional abusive relationships are so damaging.

I'm here for you if you need to talk.

Love and peace ❤

Thanks. I'm thinking a couple drinks to settle the nerves a little bit. Yeah she's put me in a no-win situation. I can't disengage as much as I try. She keeps sending her lawyer in with guns blazing whenever I try.

 

[martin8383784]

Hi long time lurker first time poster. I'm "out" of an emotionally abusive relationship. It's a long story but this woman will chase me to the far ends of the afterlife to serve me more court papers and I've reached the end of my coping ability. She's destroyed me emotionally, spiritually and financially and she's not done yet. I need to escape.

After loads of research I've settled on partial suspension hanging. I like the idea of the siphon effect and will try that out when I'm ready. Hopefully by the end of the weekend. I've practiced, I've got a good anchor point and settled as many of my affairs as I can.

My question is, is it helpful to have a drink (or two or three) first?

hi, sorry to hear your story,
while I will not get into details why I want to ctb, I've chosen full suspension (short drop) and I found couple of good locations by looking around and going to different places by car. The reason being there is not a good anchor point at home.
And yes I will get drunk for sure to lessen the pain, and also take sedatives.
I am not sure if this is a good approach for partial, I decided to not go for it because it doesn't really look reliable to me, because of SI and other failure scenarios

 

[EmptyArms]

I'm very familiar with this scenario. It feels like a vortex of hell. I too, thought it would never end. And oddly 10 years later it kind of hasnt in that she is still angry, and unsurprisingly single, and will get the knives out given the chance. Life was tortuous for quite some time, and as you mention in your post, disengagement feels impossible. But that IS the way out. Responding to her gives her oxygen. Let her do it, play dead. She will lose impetus because, despite all appearances, she is human and she cant keep it up, not in this way. Lawyers are expensive, anger is exhausting. She will simmer down.
Crucially though, your mind set has to change. You have no influence over her, only over your response. The opposite of love isnt anger, or suicide. Its indifference. Get indifferent. Work at it. It'll take a little time because it's new. Then you'll have your life back.
In our household no fucks are currently being given. Nor have they been for quite some ttime.
Its working nicely. We used to think we would have to vanish from the face of the earth. Not true. Feel free to PM me if you want to chat.

 

[Quarky00]

this woman will chase me to the far ends of the afterlife to serve me more court papers and I've reached the end of my coping ability. She's destroyed me emotionally, spiritually and financially and she's not done yet.

Sorry to hear that, awful

 

[TheDevilsAngel]

I can relate with you... It is a nightmare when someone goes all nuts on you.. It seems never ending...
Peace and hugs

 

[escapefromabuse]

I'm very familiar with this scenario. It feels like a vortex of hell. I too, thought it would never end. And oddly 10 years later it kind of hasnt in that she is still angry, and unsurprisingly single, and will get the knives out given the chance. Life was tortuous for quite some time, and as you mention in your post, disengagement feels impossible. But that IS the way out. Responding to her gives her oxygen. Let her do it, play dead. She will lose impetus because, despite all appearances, she is human and she cant keep it up, not in this way. Lawyers are expensive, anger is exhausting. She will simmer down.

I've talked to a lot of people, a lot of professionals, and at a minimum she's got sociopathic tendencies if not a full blown personality disorder. She doesn't hesitate to go after whatever she wants. Years ago I watched as she put her unemployed ex-husband in jail for not paying her money. She even said she knows she won't get the money from him so putting him in jail was pointless. She did it anyway. They'd been divorced for 7 years at the time. She's still mad about things that happened when she was 13...I'm talking full on rage when she talks about it. She's mad about her classmates going to her dad's visitation when he died. I'm honest to God scared of her and what she's willing to do.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

@escapefromabuse, what is the siphon effect?

 

[escapefromabuse]

@GoodPersonEffed https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/hanging-siphon-effect-how.15857/

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

@escapefromabuse, your stated purpose of this thread was whether or not to drink before attempting ctb.

I do not want to change course without your permission.

This double-blind you're in of her destroying your life or you destroying it is troubling. I too am grappling with a disempowering double-bind and am having some empowering thoughts. So I'm motivated to address your double-bind, but I don't want to impose a discussion on you.

If you would like to hear thoughts and want to invite me to share them, I invite you to send me a PM, to start a new thread, or to give permission here. You're here about your wants and needs, not mine, so I'm making the effort to restrain myself and just make the offer. I'm not attached to your accepting it. I'm all about self-determination, I'll leave it to you to determine what you need and want and to pursue whatever that is, as you choose.

 

[escapefromabuse]

@GoodPersonEffed I'd love to hear your thoughts. In "Off-topic" I've got another thread that would be a great place to talk. I think the title is "Coping with the aftermath of emotional abuse."

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

@GoodPersonEffed I'd love to hear your thoughts. In "Off-topic" I've got another thread that would be a great place to talk. I think the title is "Coping with the aftermath of emotional abuse."

Would you be so kind as to provide a link?

 

[escapefromabuse]

Would you be so kind as to provide a link?

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/coping-with-the-aftermath-of-emotional-abuse.30707/

 

[Lorntroubles]

Too many drinks can mess with your coordination, deep thinking, logistics of it all and ability to make decisions. I'm taking it you want to calm your nerves so maybe a benzo. A drink or two shouldn't hurt unless you are a super lightweight.

 

[Dude1983]

Do u know the meaning of "Trench wine" ?? Sure it makes u more brave

 

[escapefromabuse]

Do u know the meaning of "Trench wine" ?? Sure it makes u more brave

No I haven't and Google didn't bring up anything. What's trench wine?

 

[squirtsoda]

A little bit has helped me, I would keep it limited to getting buzzed personally, probably between 0.04 and 0.07 BAC

 

[Dude1983]

No I haven't and Google didn't bring up anything. What's trench wine?

The wine u take before u are going to leave ur trench and storm the enemy lines

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

The wine u take before u are going to leave ur trench and storm the enemy lines

That sounds very French!

 

[Dude1983]

That sounds very French!

Spanish

 

[TheEndof]

Depends on how you handle your alcohol. I know some people are sloppy and that seems like it would be a big problem with coordination. I personally don't get very sloppy or change much in personality tbh, but feel the warmth and get pretty relaxed. If you're the same, I'd suggest just enough to feel the relaxation set in.