Discussion Having a boring personality is the worst

[lostangel]

I'm so god damn depressed I just can't smile and even if I do I hate smiling because I have a crooked lip because the muscles on one side are weak. I hate being sensitive. I can't enjoy being in the presence of other men because I can't take a joke. I can't hold a conversation online or real life. I have no life left in me I'm just a robot that fails to complete its tasks.

I'm not sure how to improve as it's like it's out of my control. I feel as if I'm stuck in this position. I get it why I have no friends. It's not them it's me not being ''normal'' like the other humans.

I don't know what the purpose of this post is, I guess to see if anyone else can relate?

 

[mahakaliSS_MahaDurga]

I hate being around other people too, so I can definitely relate.

 

[mopeyD]

Absolutely can relate. I feel like a defective human. I'm a born loser and there's no cure for that lol

 

[So-lowgid]

I totally relate. I have periods where I can and do interact with others and even friends but I feel my personality disorders are always at the back of people's minds and that I'm treated differently because of them. Like they like or even love me but treat me differently to everyone else because I'm in layman's terms ' A nutter'. I'd just like to be normal like everyone else and treated that way but it's never going to happen.

 

[mahakaliSS_MahaDurga]

I totally relate. I have periods where I can and do interact with others and even friends but I feel my personality disorders are always at the back of people's minds and that I'm treated differently because of them. Like they like or even love me but treat me differently to everyone else because I'm in layman's terms ' A nutter'. I'd just like to be normal like everyone else and treated that way but it's never going to happen.

I do not have any friends.

 

[RedDEE]

I can't really relate. My problem isn't that I have a boring personality - it's that my personality is too extreme. I got banned from the chatroom here. I get so emotional, and I express myself how I truly feel - and people don't like me. People don't like it when I express my true self, I have to hide behind a mask to make people like me.

 

[Homecoming]

I hate being around other people too, so I can definitely relate.

Me too! People nowadays are too self-centered and even (dare I say the truth) f*cking selfish for not wearing mask, social distancing, and keeping self-hygiene especially during this pandemic situation! (How pathetic I am to live in poor, religious 3rd world country).

 

[SipSop]

I'm so god damn depressed I just can't smile and even if I do I hate smiling because I have a crooked lip because the muscles on one side are weak. I hate being sensitive. I can't enjoy being in the presence of other men because I can't take a joke. I can't hold a conversation online or real life. I have no life left in me I'm just a robot that fails to complete its tasks.

I'm not sure how to improve as it's like it's out of my control. I feel as if I'm stuck in this position. I get it why I have no friends. It's not them it's me not being ''normal'' like the other humans.

I don't know what the purpose of this post is, I guess to see if anyone else can relate?

I feel the same. I am the same. We just didn't won the lottery of genes. Everything was handed to tohers feom the eginning in terms of genes but not us.
I was thinking that life is not fair, but it is. Is just that we are weak, unlucky in life. Is not our fault, not our parents fault. It just happened.

 

[So-lowgid]

I feel ok today and have even done some wobbly exercise but it's only because I've swallowed enough clonazepam to sink a small ship. It's something my doctors won't prescribe but works wonders for my anxiety and lets me leave the house when I normally wouldn't dare. Today (all be it after 4mg clonazepam with little tolerance) has been wonderful just to get outside and walk, I even called in unannounced on a friend which there is NO WAY I would have done without these meds. The only problem is they are so effective and I'm an addict through and through with benzo's and opiates being my drugs of choice. I fear I may have just taken my first steps back towards a benzo addiction which is hellish to stop once tolerance and addiction build. At least today I feel good and my anxiety is zero, it's wonderful to feel after months of hell locked alone In my flat catastrophising and obsessing about ctb to find peace. Sorry if I've rambled and hijacked your thread. I'd love to make some friends on here and realise this probably isn't the right way to go about it but if anyone wants to chat pls hit me up xx

I do not have any friends.

I'd be your online friend but I'm pretty shit at maintaining stuff and would be scared to make you feel worse by not being consistent

 

[RedDEE]

I feel ok today and have even done some wobbly exercise but it's only because I've swallowed enough clonazepam to sink a small ship. It's something my doctors won't prescribe but works wonders for my anxiety and lets me leave the house when I normally wouldn't dare. Today (all be it after 4mg clonazepam with little tolerance) has been wonderful just to get outside and walk, I even called in unannounced on a friend which there is NO WAY I would have done without these meds. The only problem is they are so effective and I'm an addict through and through with benzo's and opiates being my drugs of choice. I fear I may have just taken my first steps back towards a benzo addiction which is hellish to stop once tolerance and addiction build. At least today I feel good and my anxiety is zero, it's wonderful to feel after months of hell locked alone In my flat catastrophising and obsessing about ctb to find peace. Sorry if I've rambled and hijacked your thread. I'd love to make some friends on here and realise this probably isn't the right way to go about it but if anyone wants to chat pls hit me up xx

Dude I totally understand. Benzo-addict here. Like you, I can't find a doctor to prescribe it. I have horrible anxiety, depression, and psychosis (I hear voices). Oddly enough, when I take a dose of a benzo, it cures my anxiety, AND my depression and psychosis. It makes me feel completely normal, like a real person. The problem is, I can't control myself. I end up taking way too much. If I have a whole bottle of xanax, I'll end up taking the whole bottle in 3 days.

If I had somebody to hold the benzos for me, and give me my doses, so I wouldn't have them and take way too much, I could exist as a completely normal person. But it's not a perfect world.

I just love benzos so so so so so much. I imagine death as like being on a huge dose of benzos, and lasting forever. Benzos <3

 

[So-lowgid]

Dude I totally understand. Benzo-addict here. Like you, I can't find a doctor to prescribe it. I have horrible anxiety, depression, and psychosis (I hear voices). Oddly enough, when I take a dose of a benzo, it cures my anxiety, AND my depression and psychosis. It makes me feel completely normal, like a real person. The problem is, I can't control myself. I end up taking way too much. If I have a whole bottle of xanax, I'll end up taking the whole bottle in 3 days.

If I had somebody to hold the benzos for me, and give me my doses, so I wouldn't have them and take way too much, I could exist as a completely normal person. But it's not a perfect world.

I just love benzos so so so so so much. I imagine death as like being on a huge dose of benzos, and lasting forever. Benzos <3

I'm the same mate, things escalate quickly. I've a habit of thinking they haven't done that much and I should swallow a few more and so it goes very tits up! Having never tried clonazepam before I'm pretty taken aback at how strong and long lasting it is!! 2mg is like 40/60mg Diaz and feels much nicer.. It's amazing but as we both know will only stay like that for a week or two tops before tolerance and addiction build. This shit seems atm to be amazing tho!

I'm the same mate, things escalate quickly. I've a habit of thinking they haven't done that much and I should swallow a few more and so it goes very tits up! Having never tried clonazepam before I'm pretty taken aback at how strong and long lasting it is!! 2mg is like 40/60mg Diaz and feels much nicer.. It's amazing but as we both know will only stay like that for a week or two tops before tolerance and addiction build. This shit seems atm to be amazing tho!

Forgot to add that I used to have that person (ex wife) who would hold and distribute for me. Ended up causing huge problems when she refused my requests as I'd already had my daily quota and ultimately lead to hell and divorce. Imho it's a recipe for ruining a relationship no matter how strong that relationship is.

 

[woxihuanni]

I'm so god damn depressed I just can't smile and even if I do I hate smiling because I have a crooked lip because the muscles on one side are weak. I hate being sensitive. I can't enjoy being in the presence of other men because I can't take a joke. I can't hold a conversation online or real life. I have no life left in me I'm just a robot that fails to complete its tasks.

I'm not sure how to improve as it's like it's out of my control. I feel as if I'm stuck in this position. I get it why I have no friends. It's not them it's me not being ''normal'' like the other humans.

I don't know what the purpose of this post is, I guess to see if anyone else can relate?

I can relate. I'm too well trained to be well-behaved and not bother people, therefore I cannot be 'fun'. I don't understand anything other than being useful. I do laugh and smile a lot, because that is part of being useful, but every time I am ashamed of my face. It's wonky on both sides in different ways, sort of like a clown-monster. My head of hair is disgusting, and my skin should be flayed and burnt.

 

[Rue89]

I totally relate. I'm so awkward around people, both irl and online. I feel like I have a hard time relating to others. Everybody leaves me in the end, I'm not exactly sure why. Maybe I am boring, or toxic, I don't know. I screwed up big time recently and am trying to make up for it. I have no friends, irl or online. I've accepted the fact that that's how it's meant to be.

 

[So-lowgid]

I can't really relate. My problem isn't that I have a boring personality - it's that my personality is too extreme. I got banned from the chatroom here. I get so emotional, and I express myself how I truly feel - and people don't like me. People don't like it when I express my true self, I have to hide behind a mask to make people like me.

Doesn't everyone have a mask or masks? Even normies/neurotypicals. I've probs got about 10 different ones or one for each different person or set of ppl. I think I'd get on better in life if I just had one or two and they weren't wildly different. I must confuse people a hell of a lot leaving them thinking nothing about me is genuine. It's hard man. I feel the 'real' me is too weak, to caring, too loving. Things many people In this shitty life hone in on if shown and take advantage/abuse me for it. So I never or very rarely show anyone the real me..

I totally relate. I'm so awkward around people, both irl and online. I feel like I have a hard time relating to others. Everybody leaves me in the end, I'm not exactly sure why. Maybe I am boring, or toxic, I don't know. I screwed up big time recently and am trying to make up for it. I have no friends, irl or online. I've accepted the fact that that's how it's meant to be.

I'm on a online friend hunt...

I can relate. I'm too well trained to be well-behaved and not bother people, therefore I cannot be 'fun'. I don't understand anything other than being useful. I do laugh and smile a lot, because that is part of being useful, but every time I am ashamed of my face. It's wonky on both sides in different ways, sort of like a clown-monster. My head of hair is disgusting, and my skin should be flayed and burnt.

Beauty is more than physical appearance - regardless I bet your 'wonky' smile is beautiful. I'm ugly in my eyes but it doesn't mean that it's true to others. Keep smiling

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

Me too. That's why I have few friends. But that doesn't matter anymore.

 

[Fedrea]

I'm so god damn depressed I just can't smile and even if I do I hate smiling because I have a crooked lip because the muscles on one side are weak. I hate being sensitive. I can't enjoy being in the presence of other men because I can't take a joke. I can't hold a conversation online or real life. I have no life left in me I'm just a robot that fails to complete its tasks.

I'm not sure how to improve as it's like it's out of my control. I feel as if I'm stuck in this position. I get it why I have no friends. It's not them it's me not being ''normal'' like the other humans.

I don't know what the purpose of this post is, I guess to see if anyone else can relate?

It's ok to just be a bit different from other people.

It may be depression or low self esteem telling you you have a boring personality when you actually don't

 

[agentgeez]

The idea of a boring person is so sad to me. No matter who you talk to, your worth as a person is decided based on how entertaining you are in some fashion. That's what social interaction is, and it can't even be called selfish, because you can't expect someone to spend time with someone they don't like. It's partly why I hate social interaction even though I desire it so much; I'm just constantly jumping through hoops to be interesting or entertaining because if I don't offer anything, I'm done for. I don't think I would even be satisfied if someone else was satisfied with my boring persona, because I'd feel like I was being dragged along as dead weight; the best I could hope for was someone who would theoretically be satisfied with me if I was being boring, but makes me be entertaining effortlessly because of how well we get along. The whole idea of boredom is sad to me, honestly. As someone who is very sentimental, the idea of just getting tired of something and wanting to move on is a grim reminder of how transient things are because of the expectation of novelty.

 

[Bauhaus]

Dude I totally understand. Benzo-addict here. Like you, I can't find a doctor to prescribe it. I have horrible anxiety, depression, and psychosis (I hear voices). Oddly enough, when I take a dose of a benzo, it cures my anxiety, AND my depression and psychosis. It makes me feel completely normal, like a real person. The problem is, I can't control myself. I end up taking way too much. If I have a whole bottle of xanax, I'll end up taking the whole bottle in 3 days.

If I had somebody to hold the benzos for me, and give me my doses, so I wouldn't have them and take way too much, I could exist as a completely normal person. But it's not a perfect world.

I just love benzos so so so so so much. I imagine death as like being on a huge dose of benzos, and lasting forever. Benzos <3

Can really relate to this. Downers are my choice of drugs too. When I'm anxious and sleep deprived I also feel icecold, from the moment I get out of bed. To give you the idea: even when it's 30°C in the summer I feel cold. Last year I had to pay my gas provider 786 Euro (932 $) upon the annual settlement becos my heater was constantly on.
And then I discovered my first opioid (kratom) and I felt like a totally different person: gone was the anxiety and icecold feeling, I felt all warm and cosy inside.
I now take rc opioids a couple a times a week and feel more like a normal person.

 

[quiet.rabbit]

I am the same... I have no friends online or IRL now, but when I did they clearly tried to hide just how boring they actually found me. They saw no worth in me either. People (friends included) actually talked about me like I wasn't there right in front of them. People still forget I am in the room with them and whenever I have to talk to them they get startled. In the end my IRL friends just stopped talking to me, my online friends just outright told me to frick off and didn't invite me to a new chatroom they made... And I haven't ever had a casual conversation in years now. I refuse Everytime. I get pissed whenever I work with someone or buy something and the other person tries to hold a conversation with me. I just want to gouge my eyes out.

I won't satisfy anyone in any way.
I want to CTB to not feel this pain anymore.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

I feel the same way. Social awkwardness and a lack of life experience makes me pretty boring and weird to be around. I feel like a burden on anyone I try to talk to.