Discussion Have Your Problems Worsened And Can You Imagine Them Being Worse ??

[Optimu$]

I'm wondering firstly if your problems have worsened or not over the last few years but also if you can appreciate or imagine what 'worse' looks/feels like? So if things have worsened then we're they worse than your expectations or do you just refuse to believe that your problems could be any worse.

I honestly think that most of us couldn't understand or appreciate a lot of other peoples problems on here (and they have their own hidden Nuances and details) but where we do all relate is our desire to end it (even though not all of us are willing or able to).
My problems that brought me here have probably worsened 10s of times since i first started lurking on this site last year and I guess I just wonder if people have a threshold in their mind that once crossed means that they'll actively look for a attempt methods.

I fucking hate my life now and what it has become, I definitely don't feel special on here in regards to what problems I have and unfortunately I recognise that if or when I do Kms I'll be alone and only I can do it.

 

[FuneralCry]

Existing makes me want to die and it'll only improve once I finally cease existing. My wish to die is a result of becoming aware of how truly undesirable existence is, I'd always prefer the true peace of non-existence over pointless and meaningless suffering, for me suicide is all that feels rational to escape from the futile and torturous burden of existing as a human.

Existence itself is the true problem, to have the ability to exist causes nothing but pain and as time goes on I just get more tired of suffering and I don't want to suffer in any way, there's no point and value to being trapped in this hellish existence just waiting to die anyway. A reason why suicide is all that makes sense to me is that there's literally no limit as to unbearable existing can get, it's so horrible how we were so cruelly forced here by selfish pronatalists when nobody could have been harmed by never existing at all, if one never exists there are no problems which is why procreation is the most terrible tragedy.

 

[Hotsackage]

U get use to being destroyed

 

[Forever Sleep]

Ironically, my circumstances are as good as they get at the moment. For me, the major trigger for intense ideation is when my creative job fails and I'm facing wage slavery again. I suppose my creative job is always failing (financially) and, is always at risk of drying up all together. (Freelance work.) But yeah, for now, things are as good as they get. Had I been in this situation say 5 years ago, I would feel so motivated and grateful... But I'm not. I'm reluctant and lethargic, resentful and tired.

I'm finding it hard to get myself to work at all and I'm even slower than I used to be. And, I can't be. It's going to start causing me problems soon if I don't get my shit together.

I guess that just further supports my feeling that CTB is the right decision for me though. If you work hard to get what you want and it still isn't enough, that has to tell you something! Basically though, my life has always been about coping mechanisms and I feel the most suicidal when they fail- unsurprisingly.

I'm sorry you're in such a bad place. But yes- I can absolutely see my situation getting much worse. The major thing holding me here is my Dad. After he goes, I ideally would like to go soon after to avoid the grief and seeing a (suspected) narcissitic family member at the funeral. If I'm too cowardly to go then though, there's absolutely things I don't want to go through in life. Completely failing in my creative job, ailing health and old age. I hope I'll spare myself all that.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

I'm at the mercy of family support due to chronic fatigue, permanent lightheadedness and brainfog. I would say it's worsened slightly over the years. It'll be near impossible for me to survive when my father ages out. I work part time for Uber but there's no way I can do anywhere close to 40 hours a week when I'll need to. All I can do is operate part time for now, invest spare cash, and hope to God I can somehow squeak by in the future.

It's basically like I know I'm doomed so I'm just passing the time and fucking around online because it's about all I can do. When my back's well and truly against the wall, I imagine it'll be game over and ctb will be an inevitability as I can't qualify for disability (too young/not sick enough apparently). But I may surprise myself when forced. We'll have to see.

 

[RedDoor]

You see, if you were to ask someone that I'd know they'd probably tell you im doing well in my life. The thing is though i couldn't care less. WHY? Because nothing i do matters. Accomplishments mean NOTHING. Self improvement NOTHING. helping others NOTHING. Nothing matters to me. I just become miserable nonetheless. "So why am i still alive?" Is a question that doesn't make sense to me as i feel dead inside

 

[Vicolo cieco]

My problems can only get worse with time.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

My problems are getting worse because I'm growing up and I'm forced to take on more responsibilities as well as work. My problems are also getting worse because, with each passing day, the total amount of suffering I've spent on this planet is increasing

 

[Praestat_Mori]

In my case my problems remained the same while in the same time I became less suicidal over the last couple of months. Though still, if my problems get worse, suicidal ideation will skyrocket and an attempt becomes likely.

 

[divinemistress36]

Problems will just get worse with age

 

[Yuki_03]

therapy, getting old, useless advice, pressure; all within a year. obviously ive going up and down, but now i am more down than before.

 

[fleetingnight]

I've come to find that no matter how bad it gets, it can always get worse somehow

 

[DefinitelyReady]

I'm at the mercy of family support due to chronic fatigue, permanent lightheadedness and brainfog. I would say it's worsened slightly over the years. It'll be near impossible for me to survive when my father ages out. I work part time for Uber but there's no way I can do anywhere close to 40 hours a week when I'll need to. All I can do is operate part time for now, invest spare cash, and hope to God I can somehow squeak by in the future.

It's basically like I know I'm doomed so I'm just passing the time and fucking around online because it's about all I can do. When my back's well and truly against the wall, I imagine it'll be game over and ctb will be an inevitability as I can't qualify for disability (too young/not sick enough apparently). But I may surprise myself when forced. We'll have to see.

How old are you if you don't mind?
Do you have blood pressure issues or heart disease?
Diabetes?
Thyroid?
What comes to mind with your symptoms

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

How old are you if you don't mind?
Do you have blood pressure issues or heart disease?
Diabetes?
Thyroid?
What comes to mind with your symptoms

Well I have Hashimoto's and gut inflammation but beyond that there's nothing serious going on. So even though I feel totally wiped out 24/7 and my brain feels like scrambled egg, there's no help available, medically or financially. I just have to muddle through somehow. Thanks for responding though.

 

[DefinitelyReady]

You see, if you were to ask someone that I'd know they'd probably tell you im doing well in my life. The thing is though i couldn't care less. WHY? Because nothing i do matters. Accomplishments mean NOTHING. Self improvement NOTHING. helping others NOTHING. Nothing matters to me. I just become miserable nonetheless. "So why am i still alive?" Is a question that doesn't make sense to me as i feel dead inside

Did you ever not feel like this?

 

[Cinnamorolls]

Over a lifetime, things have gotten increasingly worse (in increasingly horrifying ways) but over the last few years specifically, everything has been the same. Frustratingly so. It's like the movie Groundhog Day, just reliving the same day over and over endlessly. This last year in particular doesn't even feel like it happened? If that makes sense? Maybe my level of dissociation has just gone up.

It absolutely could be worse. I have a job and my own apartment, so "worse" would be losing my ability to work and then I would be homeless, because I don't have anyone to lean on or any kind of support system. I know having a job and not living with parents is probably viewed as a big privilege around here, but it's not like I have any alternative...

 

[lamargue]

its only very recently that i've felt true despair. before i wanted to wait for a suitable time to die, maybe in my late 30s. now i can't help but hope that i won't make it until the end of the year

 

[BardBarrie]

*Everything* can get worse.
I personally do not believe in the concept of "Rock Bottom".