Have you noticed differences in the competence and empathy comparing different therapists?

[noname223]

I have met A LOT of therapists. I was in many clinics and had many psychotherapy sessions. I try to be nuanced more than all of them are horrible. I listed many mistakes they made. For example when giving me a wrong diagnosis, not recognizing manic symptoms, not warning me about such symptoms, not digging deeper about my life and suicidal thoughts.

I already made a very long thread about such mistakes and layed them out. I am no expert but I think retrospectively some mistakes are very obvious. They are only humans and everyone has flaws. However some of their mistakes had or could have had devastating consequences.
My personal conclusion is. It is worth to spend energy and time to find a therapist that cares and you need to have a good chemistry with him/her.

I think there were difference between them.
There was a psychologist who could very well see through my pathologies and he really had empathy. Probably a little bit too much when handling my tragic case. I think his wish to help even led to a mistake. He wanted me to be successful but to that time I rather should have been protected from stress.

However I really have to say I met a lot of catastrophes as therapists. People who really barely had empathy, not much competence and no real interest to deal with my case on a profound level.

I think the sad thing about therapists is: The ones who really care suffer way more. The ones who don't give a fuck have an easy life and can deal with horrible fates way better.

The majority of psychiatrists I had were very numb and cold. That is probably a side effect when you deal with suffering people on a daily basis. The suicide rate of them is high compared to other jobs so probably not all of them can cope with that easily.

It often surprised me how much therapists forget. My current psychiatrist is by far the best I ever had. Though I explained her almost my whole suicidality and what my plans are. She was shocked when I told it to her. This was months ago and I did not open up about it after that. I have the feeling she almost forgot everything of it. Which is kind of scary. And she is clearly one of the better ones I had. I only met 3 psychiatrists who were not cold as fuck. But holy shit when I looked some of the others in the eyes I had the feeling even if I blowed off my head in front of them they would not have been affected by it.

Moreover another conclusion of mine. Finding a good psychiatrist is more difficult than to find an empathetic psychologist. I had the feeling the psychologists had a deeper connection with me than the psychiatrists. I assume because I talked with them way more and also in-depth.

Which were your experiences?

 

[Wannagonow]

Appreciate your sharing. I was given all my "official" diagnosis almost 30 years ago. Lots of different experiences within the psychiatric medical field since then.

I've never seen a psychologist. Never realized that until you mentioned them. Hate to sound negative, but I've never worked with a psychiatrist I liked. All that I've seen have met with me for 10-12 minutes. There is no talk except "how are you doing with your meds". There is never any patient- doctor relationship.

I agree with you in that therapists are kind of the focal point of treatment within the team. Many, many years ago my therapists were really good. Caring, compassionate, active listeners and had a vested interest in my well being. I don't see that in recent years.


Alot of the therapists today are young and lack that tool of experience (so far). There's little active listening. No personal investment.

Everything is high tech nowadays. ( I know it's also me being too "old school"). Now everything is "telehealth ". You never meet them in person. (I know- covid). I just don't feel as connected.

The last thing I'll say is this- I know out there somewhere are good therapists. I'm willing to put the effort in to finding them. The obstacles are finding out they aren't taking new patients and others who don't accept your insurance.

Thanks for the topic!

 

[Lostandlooking]

I've also had lots of different experiences with therapists. Each therapist seems to have their own set of ideas. Whatever I bring to a session seems less relevant. Some focus on problems in childhood, some focus on the autism thing, some focus on trauma. Some say I'm too avoidant and have low confidence. Some just shrug at everything and say: why would you let that affect you. There's been one person who really helped me, but she wasn't a therapist. More of a social worker. Not exactly that either, but I'd rather not be specific because of privacy reasons. But things happened that made me fall back into a very deep hole.

All psychiatrists I've ever seen seemed distant, uncaring or even borderline sociopathic.

I don't want to say all therapists are bad. If I'd have found a good one early on, things might have been different. The one I'm seeing now isn't so bad. I've been seeing her for about a year now. And a small amount of trust is forming. Mostly she doesn't really interfere or give advice. That's a good thing for me. She thinks autism and upbringing are my main problems. The trauma I endured at school and at work feel much much bigger to me than any of that. But that's not often something therapists tend to focus on. (In my experience) Even though that's mostly what I talk about.

Please get a therapist if you think it might help. (To everyone in general) Your experience might be very different from mine. It might not be the perfect solution. But it's always worth a shot imo.

 

[Unending]

Like you said, they are human after all. Each therapist I've met with has had certain things that I like more or less about them but it's never really a perfect fit for me. I think the bigger issue in my case is that a lot of my issues revolve around trauma and pain caused by other humans so it can kind of feel like I'm reaching out to the source of all my problems to try and get better.

 

[in hell out soon]

i keep getting therapists with no experience with my conditions, so naturally none of them fucking work.
(namely autism, but kept getting trainees that clearly had no understanding about anxiety or depression either.)