have you ever thought your problems may be caused by the state?

[badtzmaru]

either high hopes on someone, high standards or expectations of perfect future, love, family or friends, job, experiences, everything.

have you ever felt like things are not the way they supposed to be because the state created views that are simply impossible to accomplish?
maybe not the state itself, but maybe movie industry, marketing industry, social media accomodashion, mass culture or over comsuption?

are one of these things slightly related to your problems?

 

[Scythe]

Not me personally, as I am disconnected as fuck and generally don't give a shit what the standard is. But I know this is a big problem in Asia, most of them have a bullshit standard you have to abide by in school. People spend so much money on education there and they care about grades way too much. There's a lot of encouraged competition with peers, too. The working class are all subject to some kind of bullshit grindset or just pushed super hard, but if they resist they get fired.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I wouldn't blame it entirely on the state. I became mal-adjusted early on from lots of close family bereavement and then, growing up with a (likely) narcissist.

Beyond that though and probably a major reason for me wanting to CTB now is partly related to popular state ideas. I actually believed the whole mantra at school that: if you just work hard- you'll do well. I put SO much of myself into my work. I did try to follow my dreams. I just don't know how sensible that was really. I probably should have focussed on doing something more useful/ needed in society- so that finding work wouldn't be so difficult.

I suppose I also tried a lot of the things that society seems to make you believe will make you happy. I tried a decent, middle management job- it brought me nothing but stress. I tried following my creative dreams being freelance- that brings me stressed too. I focussed on my health, weight loss and appearance at one point- I tried to embrace femininity- it wasn't me. I tried making my living environment nice. I don't know- none of it really was enough.

I find it especially weird going into town now. I avoided it for years during covid. But it just feels weird- like- we just work and work and spend and spend. I just find it hard to see that any of it is worthwhile now.