Discussion have you ever thought that maybe life would be better for you if you were a "bad" person?

[ecmnesia]

just wondering.

many times i considered this myself, that if u suddenly stopped caring about others, disregarding each and every feeling/life that was not my own, things would be easier and i would not suffer that much. perhaps only till the point of selfishness, perhaps to the point of purposely harming other people.

any thoughts?

 

[PointlessStruggle]

Mine might be in some ways but worse in many others so its hard to tell. If I ever got into drugs it would have made me more socially skilled/powerful I think but would have also made my family relations/job prospects worse. As is I have an intense distaste for drugs and liquor and avoid them both entirely. I think I made the right choice in the end but I admit that I hate feeling like a freak and being seen as a prude because of it

 

[Ghost2211]

I wouldn't be capable.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Not really, I'm already a pretty awful person and karma is just doing the proper justice to me when I suffer. It sucks that I'm probably irredeemable though but that's what ctb is for.

 

[_Kaira_]

Somedays I wonder if I actually already am, and just a person who convinces herself she isn't.

 

[Cashewmilk]

Well, what you described: no empathy, no care or regard for others etc. Those things are actually not considered "bad" in our society. Those things are celebrated and revered. "Bad" is usually associated with things like drug use, crime, murder, rape, etc. With the exception of rape and serial murderers or psychopathic crime, many people who commit those acts are actually extremely empathetic and are truly suffering internally, they'll usually have empathy, like drug users and criminals. I have met more petty criminals with empathy for the innocent than normal law abiding folks.

For me, being "bad" like a drug user, prostitute, criminal, etc makes me feel better and less ashamed when horrible or just plain shitty things and shitty feelings happen. For me it's always been a coping mechanism even before I knew, since I was very young. I hate being fooled and feeling good about doing something good, or neutral or positive, only to have it all squashed when something terrible happens or someone makes me feel like shit, I always feel like an idiot for even thinking about it anything good or neutral.

 

[these_days9]

Somedays I wonder if I actually already am, and just a person who convinces herself she isn't.

Me too. I wonder if the only reason why I sometimes do nice things for other people is to try and overcompensate for how terrible I truly am inside.

 

[NightmareTour]

Weirdly, I was thinking about this last night. If I didn't care about others and what they think, I'd definitely have gotten ahead in some ways. Society pretty much expects you to step on others to get what you want. But at the same time, I would have just used what I gained to go even further off the rails. I don't know what I would have done, but I hands down guarantee there would have been a lot more drugs.

I mean, I'm probably not great as it is, I've done a lot of shitty things. But I've tried to do things that help or at least don't harm others, and that just ends in getting taken advantage of. I know I could have been a much more shitty and self destructive person given the opportunity, and I don't know how I feel about it.

 

[puppy9]

just wondering.

many times i considered this myself, that if u suddenly stopped caring about others, disregarding each and every feeling/life that was not my own, things would be easier and i would not suffer that much. perhaps only till the point of selfishness, perhaps to the point of purposely harming other people.

any thoughts?

If there is a brain modifications that can make me one, it means all anxiety gone, just as cold Agent 47; I'll do it because anxiety sucks and I'm ruined because of it.

I'm willing to sell my soul to the devil to get rid of my anxiety,,, that's how much anxiety ruined my life and still is.

 

[antigone_iris]

No, I don't think it would be better for me. It's just not who I am and I can't fool anyone.

 

[woxihuanni]

Sure, if I had been a controlling, manipulative, unstable, entitled, drama making, whoring cunt like the Abomination, he would conflate his fight or flight reflex at these things with 'love', like he does with her.

 

[Kat!]

I have two parts of me.
One I am a terrible, narcissistic idiot.
The other part of me is one that genuinely cares about other people.
I switched back and forth but most of my early years I spent being a resentful asshole to everyone I knew, it does show from time to time. It's awful, at least for me since I have two parts to my consciousness.

 

[TheEndisNear121200]

Somedays I wonder if I actually already am, and just a person who convinces herself she isn't.

This is exactly how I feel, maybe I am a bad person afterall. My siblings seem to think so anyway.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

Yes definitely but my username is TheGoodGuy so that pretty much sums it up that I am too nice/good and good people tend to not get the respect they deserve and get walked all over but this is just how I am, I don´t like confrontations very much, have never been in a fight or hurt anyone either physically nor mentally.

Of course all my physical problems and most of my mental ones would still be there but life would be easier if I was the bad guy but that is not the way my mind works I don´t like people suffering, again either physically nor mentally. I even watched an episode of Mr. Robot yesterday where the main character have to bully and employee a fat middle aged man by using his loneliness against him and even showed his Instagram of him being alone no pictures of friends or girlfriend just his cat and the look on his face just made me feel so bad for him despite knowing it was just TV Series.

 

[ecmnesia]

Somedays I wonder if I actually already am, and just a person who convinces herself she isn't.

same.

...



it's just that i feel awful when i am not emphatic or at the mere thought of being "bad".

but I can't help wondering, that maybe things would be easier if I disregarded other's people feelings. i wouldn't have to worry about them anymore, and as sad as it is, many current self-imposed restrictions i have would be gone.


while it is true that society values and reward those of us who are not empathetic. i do not agree that they explicitly do so. in my experience at least, they condemn this kind of behavior (that's why I associated it with being "bad").
many of us here have this second thought that we might actually be bad. as if we were just faking kindness and empathy.

at least in my experience, these seconds thoughts came from how I am treated at home. at the mere signal that i might be doing something for myself, instead of acting according to what is ideal for others (even when what they want is harmfull for my well being), i am accused of being a bad, selfish person.... could it be, that we second guess ourselves because someone in our life's are/were trying to manipulate us?

i pointed these behaviours as inherently bad. but are they really?

idk where I am getting at. sorry.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

Sure, it would be "easier". As you said, it would be harder to care about things, feel guilty. It would be easier to play the game and make it to the top. But is it worth it?

 

[Deleted member 94]

My programming doesn't allow that.

 

[ecmnesia]

Sure, it would be "easier". As you said, it would be harder to care about things, feel guilty. It would be easier to play the game and make it to the top. But is it worth it?

to be honest, i don't know.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

to be honest, i don't know.

I guess it really just depends on what you value in life. And it's okay to not really know. No shame :)

 

[Deleted member 94]

to be honest, i don't know.

Will you be able to live with yourself if you were to do evil things.

 

[ecmnesia]

Will you be able to live with yourself if you were to do evil things.

in the way that i currently am? absolutely not. i'm playing with the what if's, tho. what if I was different, what if i didnt care about doing evil deeds? would I be happier?

it's just a miserable way to justify this sadness i guess

 

[Nymph]

I mean I'm already a pretty shitty person and my life is not turning out very well

 

[ecmnesia]

I mean I'm already a pretty shitty person and my life is not turning out very well

fair enough.

 

[Nebby]

many times i considered this myself, that if u suddenly stopped caring about others, disregarding each and every feeling/life that was not my own, things would be easier and i would not suffer that much. perhaps only till the point of selfishness, perhaps to the point of purposely harming other people.

I remember feeling like this when I was younger. I used to be empathetic to a fault and expected the best from other people. I would always act in other people's best interest and expect them to do the same, but that rarely happened.

I've realized now that I've gotten older that expected other people to be constantly looking out for everyone else is unreasonable. You have to look out for yourself, because realistically few other people have the time or energy to consider your point of view.

The solution isn't to be "bad," it's to learn to respect yourself and act in your own best interest. If you can avoid hurting other people as much as possible, that's great.

 

[Cashewmilk]

This thread makes me think of another question that has been bugging me for a long time now, I've been wanting to ask this to a large audience, I was going to try reddit...but I don't know. It's about being honest. I will make a thread about it you can check it out in my post history.

 

[Deleted member 19276]

I actually have thought of that, yes.
That or being ignorant and stupid, like most out there in the wilds.
I'd rather be me what I am right now than something else though.

 

[akana]

yes but originally i never took action on such a thought

 

[Celerity]

Of course. Such people have it easy. Empathy can be very painful.

 

[hungry_ghost]

Not necessarily.

I already consider myself a "bad" person, but there are moments where I definitely should have been more vocal, assertive, even aggressive.

I shouldn't have allowed myself to be so shy, such a doormat, to let people think I'm inferior or stupid, when I am not.

 

[lofticries]

No. I generally don't like being around ppl so I'd find it weird af for me to search for ppl to fuck with.

There are a couple of ppl on my shit list I wouldn't mind seeing getting their just desserts though.