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noname223

Angelic
Aug 18, 2020
4,710
When I met that quantum scientist in this clinic I clearly punched above my weight. I got him on one thinking fallacy and I did not reveal to him that I am aware of inter-subjectivity. But the sole fact he thought I would not know about that showed that he considered me pretty pathetic intellectually.

Due to my autistic quirks and being severely bullied for being stupid at school I have developed this obsession about being seen as smart. I feel like a fucking fraud. I am an impostor with the impostor syndrome.

I try to educate myself but I think it is useless. I am like slug preparing for a marathon. And I am doomed to strive for intelligence and education till the end of my life. It is pretty empty, shallow and pathetic. I think I am pretty deep, eloquent and thoughtful but nothing more. In the end I am a faker. I would like to isolate myself from scrutiny in certain instances. The people in my self-help group have fallen for it and many of them consider me really smart. I think because I am quite self-aware. But in seminars I am just not good enough. I want to be exceptional but I am simply not. And it is obvious for anyone with eyes. Okay I am good at deceiving some but not the ones who matter.

Has anyone stories about such situations?

Edit: I feel like an equivalent to chatGPT I sound really smart but actually I don't know shit.
 
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lamargue

lamargue

algernon
Jun 5, 2024
272
When I met that quantum scientist in this clinic I clearly punched above my weight. I got him on one thinking fallacy and I did not reveal to him that I am aware of inter-subjectivity. But the sole fact he thought I would not know about that showed that he considered me pretty pathetic intellectually.

Due to my autistic quirks and being severely bullied for being stupid at school I have developed this obsession about being seen as smart. I feel like a fucking fraud. I am an impostor with the impostor syndrome.

I try to educate myself but I think it is useless. I am like slug preparing for a marathon. And I am doomed to strive for intelligence and education till the end of my life. It is pretty empty, shallow and pathetic. I think I am pretty deep, eloquent and thoughtful but nothing more. In the end I am a faker. I would like to isolate myself from scrutiny in certain instances. The people in my self-help group have fallen for it and many of them consider me really smart. I think because I am quite self-aware. But in seminars I am just not good enough. I want to be exceptional but I am simply not. And it is obvious for anyone with eyes. Okay I am good at deceiving some but not the ones who matter.

Has anyone stories about such situations?
i feel the exact same way. i developed empty eloquence after striving to improve my education after highschool by any means necessary. i was also bullied for being deemed unintelligent, which in fact i was. i know nothing

one of my friend's knows a guy who is very intelligent. he was very curious intellectually and seemed to have a very thorough understanding of mathematics, physics, chemistry, biology, computer science, etc. i remember when i was with a friend of mine who was trying to explain the correct procedure for getting rid of alcohol in your body. he was explaining it in a very convoluted way which i could not understand. the guy i mentioned not only understood his convoluted explanation perfectly, but showed his thought process in a very articulate manner. it was like you understood that he reformulated the problem in his mind very quickly in the spur of the moment, and was thus able to extricate meaning from what seemed to me word salad. no matter how hard i try to articulate my thoughts in a clear manner, there is a limit to how quickly our thought processes can operate. he was naturally a very good problem solver with a wide array of interests.
i tried discussing philosophy with him one night when we were drunk. i was clearly punching above my weight. he had very rational arguments that used a lot of his knowledge of computer science to make a very compelling case. in the end i don't think i conveyed myself very well, and probably misunderstood his argument, even if initially i thought it to be wrong. but aside from that i haven't had many interactions from more intelligent people, as i don't attend university myself. it would be nice to have a point of reference for where i stand intellectually, but the fact is that i'd probably end up being considered inadequate by many people there.
 
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Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
20,300
Almost everybody I've ever interacted with is smarter than me so I don't see this as such a special occasion when it happens.
 
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