Have you ever been treated badly by someone but let it slide because "they had it worse" in life?

[tiredplant777]

I had this happen with a few former friends. Obviously I was pretty messed up myself to let all of that stuff slide. I am just wondering if anyone has gone through anything similar. In these situations there was a lot of pressure and excuses to justify the behaviour from those former friends, as well as from their friends. I also am curious to hear what people's opinions are around why some people choose to use their trauma and pain as an excuse. I justified them stealing, lying, being passive aggressive, gaslighting, a ling with other things.

 

[Water-Lily]

Oh yes. I definelty have. For me it was a by product of how my mom abused me. My mom consistently crossed by boundaries and abused me and it left me with no concept of consent and respect for my body and self. When you are abused as a child by the people around you, you don't know how to establish healthy boundaries later in life

I was abused, sexually assaulted, and damaged by people I considered friends and trusted. I was a more naive girl who just wanted to be loved. And so I was willing to put up with so much than to be alone. Looking back, I can see it's better to be by yourself than with toxic people

Today I don't have many friends. I have some good online friends I have known for over 10 years, a friend from highschool that I have known since I was in my teens, and some new people I met in college. Not very many, but they have been there and know a lot about me. I am fortunate to have them. I would love to make more friends as ai get older but that'll be a journey

Anyways hun, you are so not alone in this. It's good you recognize this too

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

I think that just like us, there are other people with traumas who are also going through complicated phases and sometimes end up taking it out on the people closest to them.

And sometimes we realize that this person is saying something or having a certain attitude without thinking just because the person is in deep shit. Like, it's not with intencion to hurt you or anyone else.

In such cases, I think that "you can close your eyes", not take it personally and forgive.

Other than that, if they are people who use their traumas as excuses for anything and everything you should stay away from those kinds of people.

 

[Tortured_empath]

Yeah