Have people in your life dismissed your pain and suffering?

[natali4]

When I was spiraling I tried calling up some friends and explaining what's going on with me. They told me that I should be stronger than this and basically dismissed my pain. I am not very good at expressing myself and maybe it was my fault, maybe I just failed at expressing what I was really feeling. But whether it was my fault or not, I no longer want to tell anyone in my real life what I'm going through. When people trivialize my pain it makes me feel worse. I was angry for a long time (still get angry sometimes) but I realized that they are not intentional doing this to me. They are what we like to call normies, and there's just no way they can ever understand what makes a person want to ctb. I like this community because even with all the social anxiety and PTSD, I can't believe I feel comfortable (somewhat) venting and expressing myself here.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

All the time but to be fair, my suffering is well-deserved and often self-inflicted even though I desperately want it to end.

 

[katara]

I'm not good at expressing myself either. I have tried in the past though, it just wasn't receipted very well. I think it's harder to express yourself when you know the person doesn't get it, and never truly will.

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

No one has the right to tell us how we should feel or minimize our feelings. We are all different and what for some is a significant thing for others is everything.

 

[allesistgut]

my parents dismissed my problems especially at a young age. i can't remember exactly how old i was, but i think i was probably 13-14 and i wanted to see a psychologist and finally managed to ask my parents, which wasn't easy for me to do, and they got upset with me a told me i couldn't.

i also told them i thought i could be bipolar and my father basically told me that there was no way and did i think i was that special.

when i was deep in my eating disorder they would also make fun of my eating habits, they weren't aware of my ed but still…

sorry not sure if i went a bit off topic here, my thoughts kind of go all over the place.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Oh oh oh! I know this one.
My mom....
She saw my cuts one day and asked what's that. I have the obvious answer of cat. She scoffed at me then walked away.
Some fucking mother you are!!! If I saw that on my daughter (or son) I'd be pulling them in for a hug, letting them know I understand and that they could talk to me if they ever needed to. NOT scoffing then walking away.

I'm not sure if this next one counts as it wasn't directly dismissing me.
I ended up asking her for a therapist after awhile. Stating that I was suicidal and need help. She got out some paperwork from her time in therapy and gave them to me. Saying she would get me a therapist. But I never heard another word. Literally left for dead. I even optionally gave her a rope a had because I wanted to hang myself with it AND SHE STILL DIDN'T GET ME HELP! Like dude.... Wtf

Oh and then there were my friends at school....
I was on the bus and my ex got on and sat with me. I didn't think anything about it, we were still friends. But then he forcefully kissed me. Me on the inside and his hand on my leg. I had to use my hands to make sure his wouldn't go up so I couldn't push him off me and I was trapped in the corner so I couldn't leave. I tried to tell my friends but none of them listened.
Idk if this incident is why but it's probably at least a portion of the reason for why when another friend threatened to rape me I didn't say anything.... In fact I did worse then not say anything. I completely forgot it had happened for a few weeks until someone (fairly confident it was him) called my then bf saying I give great bjs, I was a virgin.... I'm just lucky I ended up remembering before something worse happened.... If you call lucky living with severe ptsd from it

Yeah.... I've been dismissed a few times in my life.

 

[Symbiote]

I've been dismissed by family, loved ones, friends, and medical professionals. I don't talk about my emotions or my life in general any more. Imagine telling your therapist and their reply was, "That's because you CHOSE to be sad, why can't you choose to be happy?" or your loved ones, "I don't need this negativity in my life, keep that shit far away from me."

Understood, crystal fucking clear.

 

[FuneralCry]

I just keep everything to myself personally, there would be no point to telling others. I see it as best to do that. Some people really can be so insensitive and invalidating and of course they would never be able to understand as they are not living our lives. Everyone has different limits as to what they can cope with after all.

 

[natali4]

I'm not good at expressing myself either. I have tried in the past though, it just wasn't receipted very well. I think it's harder to express yourself when you know the person doesn't get it, and never truly will.

This!

my parents dismissed my problems especially at a young age. i can't remember exactly how old i was, but i think i was probably 13-14 and i wanted to see a psychologist and finally managed to ask my parents, which wasn't easy for me to do, and they got upset with me a told me i couldn't.

i also told them i thought i could be bipolar and my father basically told me that there was no way and did i think i was that special.

when i was deep in my eating disorder they would also make fun of my eating habits, they weren't aware of my ed but still…

sorry not sure if i went a bit off topic here, my thoughts kind of go all over the place.

I'm sorry you went through that. I was dismissed by my parents too. Actually I never knew that my feelings mattered. I was like a robot kid trying to follow my parents orders. Oh well, we are all here now.

Oh oh oh! I know this one.
My mom....
She saw my cuts one day and asked what's that. I have the obvious answer of cat. She scoffed at me then walked away.
Some fucking mother you are!!! If I saw that on my daughter (or son) I'd be pulling them in for a hug, letting them know I understand and that they could talk to me if they ever needed to. NOT scoffing then walking away.

I'm not sure if this next one counts as it wasn't directly dismissing me.
I ended up asking her for a therapist after awhile. Stating that I was suicidal and need help. She got out some paperwork from her time in therapy and gave them to me. Saying she would get me a therapist. But I never heard another word. Literally left for dead. I even optionally gave her a rope a had because I wanted to hang myself with it AND SHE STILL DIDN'T GET ME HELP! Like dude.... Wtf

Oh and then there were my friends at school....
I was on the bus and my ex got on and sat with me. I didn't think anything about it, we were still friends. But then he forcefully kissed me. Me on the inside and his hand on my leg. I had to use my hands to make sure his wouldn't go up so I couldn't push him off me and I was trapped in the corner so I couldn't leave. I tried to tell my friends but none of them listened.
Idk if this incident is why but it's probably at least a portion of the reason for why when another friend threatened to rape me I didn't say anything.... In fact I did worse then not say anything. I completely forgot it had happened for a few weeks until someone (fairly confident it was him) called my then bf saying I give great bjs, I was a virgin.... I'm just lucky I ended up remembering before something worse happened.... If you call lucky living with severe ptsd from it

Yeah.... I've been dismissed a few times in my life.

I'm sorry this happened to you. I think a lot of us are fucked because of our parents, and its not fair. We didn't ask for this. And then of course there are other people, "friends", who should be supporting and uplifting us but make our pain and situation worse.
I was sexually harassed by a professor a few years ago. I was upset, humiliated and in shock. My so called friends left me alone when I needed them the most and cut me off because I was always "depressed and upset". I think sexual harassment didn't hurt me as much as the response I got from my "friends".

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

Yes. I have an invisible illness. I've encountered nothing but doubt and dismissal from others. People simply can't seem to absorb what I tell them, or else forget what I said five minutes later. The lack of acknowledgment is the worst part.