Ryan.s
Experienced
- Nov 29, 2019
- 224
I have tried partial suspension hanging more than a dozen times (literally) (have never been able to get myself to pass out), I cannot do full suspension as I way 240 pounds and cannot find anywhere to hold my weight in my apartment, cant jump because building access is limited, not sure about suicide by train as I really don't want to traumatize anyone and not to mention ctb by train has got to hurt. Don't get me started on SN (can't do the method/cannot get antiemdics) I live in Thailand (located in Asia) and am American. I cannot get a firearm as a foreigner. The only option I see is a gun range suicide. Here in Thailand, the biggest round ranges carry is 45 ACP. (they do carry 12 guage, but the instructor stands right beside you if you are a foreigner and I would'nt be able to put the shotgun to my head and pull the trigger in time) I would have to use the 45. I really don't trust that the caliber is big enough (cannot risk missing the brain stem). Even if 45. is big enough, I would be a horrible person to blow my brains out beside the instructor. There is literally no other way to ctb that is statistically highly lethal.