Hating the expectation of makeup

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

Does anyone else hate the cultural expectation that anyone who is feminine must wear makeup, that makeup is the standard??

To be honest, it makes me even more suicidal. I am allergic to many different cosmetic products and without fail, makeup always makes my eyes water and my breakouts worse. Due to the sensory issues stemming from autism, "beauty" products feel like sandpaper on my skin.

Now, lots of people get upset if you tell them that you think makeup is harmful. Objectively, it is bad for your skin, but I find that the beauty standards perpetuated by its existence and acceptance in society and culture are far more pernicious.

As an art form, I respect makeup. I understand that in films or theatre, it is advantageous for the actors to wear it. However, I hate how it is pretty much a societal obligation to frequently put that goop on your face if you are unlucky enough to be a young woman in the modern world.

Most of the images we see in media are shopped and airbrushed anyways. They aren't real people, they're tampered with and doctored up to make you think that you can look like the digitized humanoids in the pictures. Kids will grow up not knowing what real people look like if all they are exposed to is unrealistic and often grotquesely impossible depictions of the human anatomy.

I very rarely wear makeup because it will make me look like I've had a random cry baby event when it starts running down my face. Still, people act like I am insane for not wearing it or spending loads of money on the junk, and other women especially judge me for it. I am looked down upon all the time for refusing to burn my skin with these products, and I'm sick of it.

Especially, I am sick of the way people twist your words to make it look like you think no one should be allowed to wear makeup, when you say that it shouldn't be a pressured expectation that is shoved on you ever since you were old enough to buy artificial fruit scented buy one get one free pound shop lip gloss.

Yesterday my boyfriend told me that I am a judgemental person for not liking makeup, and that somehow I am hateful towards other women and taking away their agency by calling out unrealistic beauty standards when I see them. He also said that I am insecure and have an inferiority complex due to my appearence, and that it's unflattering.

Why do people seem to conflate not holding people to ridiculous standards with, "we should ban makeup forever no one is allowed it is a satanic lovecraftiain sisyphean plague upon humanity?"

What do you all think about this?

 

[WornOutLife]

I so agree with you!
I think girls without make up are so beautiful and natural.

I remember my ex gf was really happy because I never asked her to be more "feminine" and wear make-up. Her ex did and she hated that.

If you feel like wearing it, no problem! But if you don't, it's also okay!

For example, I like suits but I don't feel like wearing one everyday and when I don't, some people judgme and don't "respect me". How can clothes or make-up define us so much?

I don't know if this makes any sense. I just hate the system lol

 

[Mentalmick]

 

[signifying nothing]

Does anyone else hate the cultural expectation that anyone who is feminine must wear makeup, that makeup is the standard??

To be honest, it makes me even more suicidal. I am allergic to many different cosmetic products and without fail, makeup always makes my eyes water and my breakouts worse. Due to the sensory issues stemming from autism, "beauty" products feel like sandpaper on my skin.

Now, lots of people get upset if you tell them that you think makeup is harmful. Objectively, it is bad for your skin, but I find that the beauty standards perpetuated by its existence and acceptance in society and culture are far more pernicious.

As an art form, I respect makeup. I understand that in films or theatre, it is advantageous for the actors to wear it. However, I hate how it is pretty much a societal obligation to frequently put that goop on your face if you are unlucky enough to be a young woman in the modern world.

Most of the images we see in media are shopped and airbrushed anyways. They aren't real people, they're tampered with and doctored up to make you think that you can look like the digitized humanoids in the pictures. Kids will grow up not knowing what real people look like if all they are exposed to is unrealistic and often grotquesely impossible depictions of the human anatomy.

I very rarely wear makeup because it will make me look like I've had a random cry baby event when it starts running down my face. Still, people act like I am insane for not wearing it or spending loads of money on the junk, and other women especially judge me for it. I am looked down upon all the time for refusing to burn my skin with these products, and I'm sick of it.

Especially, I am sick of the way people twist your words to make it look like you think no one should be allowed to wear makeup, when you say that it shouldn't be a pressured expectation that is shoved on you ever since you were old enough to buy artificial fruit scented buy one get one free pound shop lip gloss.

Yesterday my boyfriend told me that I am a judgemental person for not liking makeup, and that somehow I am hateful towards other women and taking away their agency by calling out unrealistic beauty standards when I see them. He also said that I am insecure and have an inferiority complex due to my appearence, and that it's unflattering.

Why do people seem to conflate not holding people to ridiculous standards with, "we should ban makeup forever no one is allowed it is a satanic lovecraftiain sisyphean plague upon humanity?"

What do you all think about this?

How about you ask your boyfriend to wear some?

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Ironically a lot of folks in the incel crowd would agree with you but maybe for a different reason; they tend to hate the very idea of makeup on women since to them it's essentially cheating. Of course a lot of them also expect women to look like they would with some makeup on without the actual makeup itself so make of that what you will. I guess if you really wanted to make your boyfriend mad you could leave him for some random incel who in turn would have to prove he actually likes girls without makeup.

 

[stygal]

I rarely ever wear makeup (especially not around the eyes since they are super sensitive and water right away).
But by doing that I kinda set the expectations "low" from the beginning and everyone only knows me without it and is then quite surprised whenever I actually decide to wear it once.
No female person should be "expected" to have to put on any, that's just stupid. Fuck society and their unrealistic beauty standards.

 

[Amumu]

I couldn't care less if a girl wore make-up or not, what the hell.

Physical beauty isn't caused by make-up, it doesn't change anything for people who are naturally good-looking

I offered a girl make-up once but I think it's just an accessory which can make people feel good.

 

[Lucien]

Yesterday my boyfriend told me that I am a judgemental person for not liking makeup, and that somehow I am hateful towards other women and taking away their agency by calling out unrealistic beauty standards when I see them. He also said that I am insecure and have an inferiority complex due to my appearence, and that it's unflattering.

Haha. I hope he was just thinking out loud. There are ways to express passive aggression without resorting to "you crave kinky sex" tier Freudian psychoanalysis.

 

[Carrotcake]

I agree that make up perpetuates unrealistic beauty standards. Now in the age of facetune it's even worse. We are expected to look like this idealized version of ourselves, a version that does not exist. Which only sets you up for failure.

 

[GrumpyFrog]

That's not just makeup, that's how society works. Something always has to be the standard and everything else is weird, bad and/or wrong. That's why when you say you don't want makeup to be the standard it's interpreted as you wanting absense of makeup to be the standard and presence of makeup to be bad. Whether we like it or not, the world is never going to be equally accepting and friendly to everyone, someone will always be the odd one out and probably everyone is the odd one out in some context. The only solution I can see is to care about societal expectations as little as possible.

 

[DarkWolf]

I hate the expectation of it. My mother was always trying to get me to be more feminine. She put make up on me a couple of times and it was awful it just felt so irritating, I don't know how anyone puts up with it. No one bothers me about it now I'm older and I look quite male, sort of, with my hair cut and clothes.

Make up should be a choice regardless of anyone's gender. I don't get why society as a whole gets so hung up on these things.