Venting has medication made me unlikeable?

[toro]

idk, looking for advice i think?

for context, im 18 years old, female (maybe), and formerly an agoraphobic with chronic anxiety which lead to me dropping out of college.

im struggling to make friends, weirdly enough, i had way more luck with friends and social life in general before i was medicated and 'stable', now that i regularly take meds and have a routine (job, sleep schedule) it feels like everyone has just abandoned me entirely and i dont know what i have done wrong? i was fucking insufferable before i was medicated, constantly spiralling and twitchy/paranoid, so i dont know why once i got my shit together, all the people in my life that werent tied to me by blood have left?

actually, once i started medication and recovery in general all my friends got really agitated with me, one of them in particular (my bestfriend) at the time seeming to be specifically pissed about the meds, they constantly mocked me for taking them and would suggest skipping out constantly despite knowing what they were for (we are IRLs and partially grew up together, so they knew my history fair enough). anyway, this all eventually culminates to the two of us drifting apart after i asked them about the constant insults/suggestions to stop taking my medication even when i wasnt around to defend myself/when they allowed and encouraged people i didnt even know to think/say the same things about/to me. i thought we had ended things on amicable terms considering we still spoke semi regularly with them initiating the conversations a lot of the time, until i see them post on twitter just straight up saying they wish id man up and kill myself already LMFAO. i just closed the app and pretended i didnt see anything because at that point my acct was basically abandoned anyways, so i assume they thought i had just uninstalled it.

i honestly couldve moved past the whole wishing id kill myself thing, at best it was just a sort of fucked up one sided joke, but then i got a message from one of the people they would get to tell me to skip out on meds and its just. my home address and threats/like.. schizo-posting stuff?? saying that they knew where i was and that they were coming and that they were already in my house. i am VERY careful about how i handle my location online, i use a VPN constantly and the only reason my IRL knew my address was because we were IRLs who grew up together, plus the person that sent me the threats quoted pretty explicitly something i had said in a private conversation with my IRL, so it progressed beyond silly kys stuff on twitter to them giving out my private info and getting people to try and set off my anxiety which feels a lot more serious and upsetting to me (i think thats pretty fair for me to feel though, lol)

im just upset, i dont understand why once i began recovering, people started pulling away?? maybe ive changed too much and not noticed it, has anyone else noticed themselves/their friends change significantly once they begin treatment? sorry for the long thread, i have noone else to talk about this with, as im sure you can assume.

bleh, whatever, TLDR: i started meds and lost all my friends, anyone else feel similar?

 

[lionetta12]

idk, looking for advice i think?

for context, im 18 years old, female (maybe), and formerly an agoraphobic with chronic anxiety which lead to me dropping out of college.

im struggling to make friends, weirdly enough, i had way more luck with friends and social life in general before i was medicated and 'stable', now that i regularly take meds and have a routine (job, sleep schedule) it feels like everyone has just abandoned me entirely and i dont know what i have done wrong? i was fucking insufferable before i was medicated, constantly spiralling and twitchy/paranoid, so i dont know why once i got my shit together, all the people in my life that werent tied to me by blood have left?

actually, once i started medication and recovery in general all my friends got really agitated with me, one of them in particular (my bestfriend) at the time seeming to be specifically pissed about the meds, they constantly mocked me for taking them and would suggest skipping out constantly despite knowing what they were for (we are IRLs and partially grew up together, so they knew my history fair enough). anyway, this all eventually culminates to the two of us drifting apart after i asked them about the constant insults/suggestions to stop taking my medication even when i wasnt around to defend myself/when they allowed and encouraged people i didnt even know to think/say the same things about/to me. i thought we had ended things on amicable terms considering we still spoke semi regularly with them initiating the conversations a lot of the time, until i see them post on twitter just straight up saying they wish id man up and kill myself already LMFAO. i just closed the app and pretended i didnt see anything because at that point my acct was basically abandoned anyways, so i assume they thought i had just uninstalled it.

i honestly couldve moved past the whole wishing id kill myself thing, at best it was just a sort of fucked up one sided joke, but then i got a message from one of the people they would get to tell me to skip out on meds and its just. my home address and threats/like.. schizo-posting stuff?? saying that they knew where i was and that they were coming and that they were already in my house. i am VERY careful about how i handle my location online, i use a VPN constantly and the only reason my IRL knew my address was because we were IRLs who grew up together, plus the person that sent me the threats quoted pretty explicitly something i had said in a private conversation with my IRL, so it progressed beyond silly kys stuff on twitter to them giving out my private info and getting people to try and set off my anxiety which feels a lot more serious and upsetting to me (i think thats pretty fair for me to feel though, lol)

im just upset, i dont understand why once i began recovering, people started pulling away?? maybe ive changed too much and not noticed it, has anyone else noticed themselves/their friends change significantly once they begin treatment? sorry for the long thread, i have noone else to talk about this with, as im sure you can assume.

bleh, whatever, TLDR: i started meds and lost all my friends, anyone else feel similar?

Sounds like they are judgemental of meds in general based on what you've described, maybe they're anti meds? Another thing can be that some people like it when others are suffering or enjoy being around people who aren't doing well. These people don't sound like the best people to be around, sounds like they are toxic and need to get some help or that they should improve too, maybe they are jealous that you're improving when they aren't? I noticed that when I was the most successful I've been in life, the people who were with me romantically pulled away because they wanted someone weak to prey on, and I wasn't weak anymore so they weren't able to abuse me to the same extent as before, so they lost interest or got angry with me and actually tried to sabotage my life in many ways to make me weak and vulnerable again and ruin any progress I'd made, which was when I decided to cut them out of my life permanently.

 

[toro]

Sounds like they are judgemental of meds in general based on what you've described, maybe they're anti meds? Another thing can be that some people like it when others are suffering or enjoy being around people who aren't doing well. These people don't sound like the best people to be around, sounds like they are toxic and need to get some help or that they should improve too, maybe they are jealous that you're improving when they aren't? I noticed that when I was the most successful I've been in life, the people who were with me romantically pulled away because they wanted someone weak to prey on, and I wasn't weak anymore so they weren't able to abuse me to the same extent as before, so they lost interest or got angry with me and actually tried to sabotage my life in many ways to make me weak and vulnerable again and ruin any progress I'd made, which was when I decided to cut them out of my life permanently.

you might have a point, they got kinda pissy when they found out my doctor suggested medication, said that it would just make me worse etc so they may just be Anti Medication LMFAO. and yeah about the toxic stuff, i think so, they actively spread random rumours about me when we were still in HS together (and then extended it to doxxing me to random strangers) so looking back on it they really werent a great friend X_X the good times were so good i kinda ignored everything else so i could keep being happy with them. we did have a romantic relationship at one point which was. HM. LMFAO

thank you for your reply!! i feel a lot less alone knowing you went through something similar, though obviously it wasnt ideal for either of us, i wrote that post before sleeping last night so its kinda incoherent, thank u for listening to my ramble HAHAH

 

[d3c96524be95]

Might not be completely relatable to your case and @lionetta12's response will probably look more "on point" than mine, but back when I was in highschool (many years ago now ), doctors gave me anti-psychotics at some point which made me very dizzy, slow, inattentive, and somewhat soulless. I found out it was a lot harder to socialize and keep up with existing "friendships" in such circumstances.

It was also somewhat true with other medications I had (SSRIs, SNRIs, …) but at a lower level, and it was harder to tell whether that was a direct consequence of the medication or of the depressive symptoms. Probably both.

So yeah, I can definitely relate that some medication can change you in ways that make it harder to socialize, and that this is a consequence of the medication and not of the underlying pathology you have (which surely doesn't help either). I guess it highly depends from one person to another, from the kind of friendships you had, and from the type of medication you take.

I hope you're not too lonely though and that you're able to cope.

 

[toro]

Might not be completely relatable to your case and @lionetta12's response will probably look more "on point" than mine, but back when I was in highschool (many years ago now ), doctors gave me anti-psychotics at some point which made me very dizzy, slow, inattentive, and somewhat soulless. I found out it was a lot harder to socialize and keep up with existing "friendships" in such circumstances.

It was also somewhat true with other medications I had (SSRIs, SNRIs, …) but at a lower level, and it was harder to tell whether that was a direct consequence of the medication or of the depressive symptoms. Probably both.

So yeah, I can definitely relate that some medication can change you in ways that make it harder to socialize, and that this is a consequence of the medication and not of the underlying pathology you have (which surely doesn't help either). I guess it highly depends from one person to another, from the kind of friendships you had, and from the type of medication you take.

I hope you're not too lonely though and that you're able to cope.

yeah, the medication has probably changed me but speaking solely from a mental health standpoint its been entirely positive, social is a whole other thing LOL im not great at socialising anyways but maybe the meds have made it worse? theyre antidepressants, never heard of that as a symptom but may just be uncommon

im ok :) ty for the well wishes and reading through my dribble! i went down a real bad spiral after everything went down, but now that i have a job to keep me busy im mostly fine HAHA, spend my weekends taking my grandma shopping or generally pestering my family LOL, hope youre doing OK too!! we all have a community on here at the very least :)

 

[randy]

actually, once i started medication and recovery in general all my friends got really agitated with me, one of them in particular (my bestfriend) at the time seeming to be specifically pissed about the meds, they constantly mocked me for taking them

maybe they were afraid that for whatever reason, they'd lose you as a friend after starting the meds. maybe it made them feel insecure or unhappy with their own lives

 

[toro]

maybe they were afraid that for whatever reason, they'd lose you as a friend after starting the meds. maybe it made them feel insecure or unhappy with their own lives

you might have a point, we were super close because of how much we Got It (in terms of mental health), so it could be that once i began recovery and they didnt it we just started declining further and further. we initially had a suicide pact actually LMAO so it very much could have been kickstarted by 'what the hell is bonding us together now if Toro is recovering?', obviously im no longer looking to recover, but at the time i was pretty set on getting my shit together HAHA thanks for your input!!