Has anyone told you to die?

[copioushopelessness]

I've been told to thousands of times for the past 8 years by someone I gave too many chances to. They have also talked ill of the dead, my parents. His own cousins. He told his cousin to kill himself then he did.
Among MANY other shitty things that was said to me. I should've stopped talking to him the first time but each time I tried to defend myself or give him chances to redeem himself it would go back to the same shit. I didn't realize that even though I've always had a tough life it wasn't so bad until I met him. In fact I had a lot going for me. Or at least "potential" everyone kept telling me to live up to my potential..Sure I had trauma and severe health problems but besides that it was mostly peaceful. I wish I could go back at least a decade and do so many things differently. A path that wouldnt of led me to being insecure enough to meet someone like him. He sabotaged my whole life in many ways. Isolated me. Humiliated me. Made me act out of character to the point of destroying my own life. I lost what should've been my best years. I lost my mind. My health declined further..
"You're all alone, your parents are dead, you're going to die alone." I wish my ctb wouldnt give some people the sick satisfaction of being right. People were wrong about me until I let them turn me into something I didn't want to be.

 

[ScaredCutter]

online ive been told to die, but its all bark no bite there unless they wanna go big and bold and stalk my socials. only the worse of them all will have the balls to tell somebody to die and to be even more extreme about their way of "convincing" u to do it. people poke where it hurts most, ur vunerability. theyll even carry it over to other family, whether its urs or their own, even a friend of urs.

i remember a case of a young girl who killed herself because of bullying and they kept on bullying her despite being dead already. i still remember the story and where i heard it. people are just ruthless beings who dont care until they are placed into the situation. its all fun and games to them, if they face no consequences, whos gonna stop them? i wish people were sent to prison for pushing people to suicide for their own satisfaction.

 

[trulyautistic]

yes ive been tolled to kill myself from my parents and people in school when i went ive been robbed mocked recorded put online beat bullied multiple times in my life and ive never done anything to deserve that all i ever wanted was to be treated like a human.

 

[copioushopelessness]

online ive been told to die, but its all bark no bite there unless they wanna go big and bold and stalk my socials. only the worse of them all will have the balls to tell somebody to die and to be even more extreme about their way of "convincing" u to do it. people poke where it hurts most, ur vunerability. theyll even carry it over to other family, whether its urs or their own, even a friend of urs.

i remember a case of a young girl who killed herself because of bullying and they kept on bullying her despite being dead already. i still remember the story and where i heard it. people are just ruthless beings who dont care until they are placed into the situation. its all fun and games to them, if they face no consequences, whos gonna stop them? i wish people were sent to prison for pushing people to suicide for their own satisfaction.

Some people are sent to prison for it. The majority aren't.
I guess instead of getting upset and saying my own choice words I should've gathered evidence, at least for a restraining order, at least so the few who think about me sometimes know I was pushed to it. Unfortunately life has given me many bad circumstances, poor health, poverty, no support system, so I feel as though I have to do this anyway but I just don't want a few people to get sick satisfaction out of it. Especially him. Also my ex who I have children with drove me to this, he said he will be "sad but relieved" when I die. He didnt say it thousands of times like the other person did but he did plenty. One is a more silent violent abusive type and the other is verbal and manipulative. My own father told me to OD, although I know he didn't want me to actually act on it as he took guns away from me.. he's gone now..
So two people who took many years from me. I'm only here because I don't want to hurt my children, but I've been too sick to care for them like I used to and my fucked up ex has them.. my body is failing anyway and I'm not sure that even if I died naturally now would it be any less traumatic for them? I don't care much about anyone else anymore they didnt care about me. I used to have too much empathy for the wrong people.
There's also some people who may gossip about my untimely death. Or even worse they choose to feel bad when it's too late. Feeling sorry for them damn selves. Most won't care much at all, probably won't even be surprised. I don't want it seen as a selfish decision, if anything I shouldve given up being a burden before everyone gave up on me. I'm alone. Have been for a long time.
I wish I had had the strength to not allow certain things, but I've been abused and bullied my whole life. I opened up to some people and they used it as ammo. I'm as good as dead already. I fear I don't have much time left. I guess who cares what people think or say when I'm gone. I just don't want to hurt anyone but I don't see many reasons to hold on anymore. Or even have the means to take care of myself anymore. Ive been spending what savings I had on take-out because I cant even get to the grocery store and my love of cooking is a thing of the past.

yes ive been tolled to kill myself from my parents and people in school when i went ive been robbed mocked recorded put online beat bullied multiple times in my life and ive never done anything to deserve that all i ever wanted was to be treated like a human.

I'm so sorry! You deserve so much more.

 

[eyenumbing]

my own mother told me to kill myself when i was 16. even after i went to a psychward, my parents never took my mental health seriously and made jokes about sending me back whenever i seemed depressed.

 

[Spite]

Yes but only a couple of times - my father told me I should kill myself, as well as a few people from when I was in school.

 

[copioushopelessness]

my own mother told me to kill myself when i was 16. even after i went to a psychward, my parents never took my mental health seriously and made jokes about sending me back whenever i seemed depressed.

I can relate. My mother told me I was a mistake all the time. My father could get quite abusive as well. Anytime they abused me to the point of me reacting they would have me sent away either to wards or boarding schools and claim I was abusive to them.. for finally standing up for myself. Then the medications that ruined my life. My whole family shit on me. Yes and the jokes.. everyone cracking jokes like it wasn't veiled abuse. I have a twisted sense of humor because I was taught that but there's only so much being the brunt of the joke one can take.

my own mother told me to kill myself when i was 16. even after i went to a psychward, my parents never took my mental health seriously and made jokes about sending me back whenever i seemed depressed.

I can relate. My mother told me I was a mistake all the time. My father could get quite abusive as well. Anytime they abused me to the point of me reacting they would have me sent away either to wards or boarding schools and claim I was abusive to them.. for finally standing up for myself. Then the medications that ruined my life. My whole family shit on me. Yes and the jokes.. everyone cracking jokes like it wasn't veiled abuse. I have a twisted sense of humor because I was taught that but there's only so much being the brunt of the joke

Yes but only a couple of times - my father told me I should kill myself, as well as a few people from when I was in school.

I'm sorry. People really are cruel.

 

[vascomorrow]

I've been told to thousands of times for the past 8 years by someone I gave too many chances to. They have also talked ill of the dead, my parents. His own cousins. He told his cousin to kill himself then he did.
Among MANY other shitty things that was said to me. I should've stopped talking to him the first time but each time I tried to defend myself or give him chances to redeem himself it would go back to the same shit. I didn't realize that even though I've always had a tough life it wasn't so bad until I met him. In fact I had a lot going for me. Or at least "potential" everyone kept telling me to live up to my potential..Sure I had trauma and severe health problems but besides that it was mostly peaceful. I wish I could go back at least a decade and do so many things differently. A path that wouldnt of led me to being insecure enough to meet someone like him. He sabotaged my whole life in many ways. Isolated me. Humiliated me. Made me act out of character to the point of destroying my own life. I lost what should've been my best years. I lost my mind. My health declined further..
"You're all alone, your parents are dead, you're going to die alone." I wish my ctb wouldnt give some people the sick satisfaction of being right. People were wrong about me until I let them turn me into something I didn't want to be.

Ive been told to die, a girlfriend even pulled a knife on me, i had to grab her wrist and defend myself.
I think the best revenge would be to succeed and kick ass in life. Some people are just pieces of shit.

Goodluck. Hugs

 

[whiskeyblanket]

In high school, I was told by dozens of people on a daily basis that I should kill myself. Of those people, several also told me that if I didn't kill myself, they would do it for me. Some of them brought weapons to school and stalked me outside of school. The teacher who had power to stop it was more interested in flirting with and sexually harassing me (I'm a teacher now so I understand boundaries and such for teachers and students, and it was so much worse than I realized at the time). The idea of suicide in middle school for me was a last resort to end suffering; in high school, it became a means of control (I'm going to die by their hands or mine, and I don't want to give them the satisfaction). I like to think that my survival at age 36 is more a matter of their incompetence than mine, even though I've made several attempts to ctb. It's the only thing that keeps me going.

 

[bakenohana]

I haven't had much social interaction outside of the internet for many years and the internet is a cesspool of people telling you to die so i would say yes. a lot of my friends tell me to just kill myself already since I've been talking about it for so long which I don't really take to heart since I've been desensitized to people telling me i should die for a long time

 

[copioushopelessness]

Ive been told to die, a girlfriend even pulled a knife on me, i had to grab her wrist and defend myself.
I think the best revenge would be to succeed and kick ass in life. Some people are just pieces of shit.

Goodluck. Hugs

I'm sorry you've been through that.
Yeah, I wish I had the strength, health, and resources to pull that off. I should've taken the opportunity earlier in life. Thank you. Let's hope for a miracle.
I hope you kickass in life, remember the underdogs like me when you do!

 

[vascomorrow]

I'm sorry you've been through that.
Yeah, I wish I had the strength, health, and resources to pull that off. I should've taken the opportunity earlier in life. Thank you. Let's hope for a miracle.
I hope you kickass in life, remember the underdogs like me when you do!

You sound very sweet and pleasant.

I feel like ive lost everything in life. No family, my woman ctb, no assets, no friends, nobody I really talk to, little money. I basically just go to work go home then get drunk every night.

I keep thinking about finding a way to move to southeast Asia and just trying to live off the land. And its such a far fetched dream, could even argue its stupid really. But thats the thing im trying to cling on to anyways. Saving money and trying to escape this life im in right now.

 

[DonLockwood]

I got told to kill myself multiple times growing up in school. I think I was the only kids in the school that was on the spectrum. Natrually that singled me out and I had few friends. Most were outright hostile to me and few were indifferent. Teachers didn't do much either to stop it. 'Normie Sadism' I think is the term thats often thrown around online applies here.

 

[GyreOfAsh]

Yeah but it was mostly always playful. I'm sure some randoms online meant it but I never cared what they thought.