has anyone slept rough?

[LittleJem]

I know it's stupid. I am just feeling so homeless and unwanted and while I could get a hotel which I can't really afford for a few days, maybe if I buy a tent, then I can sleep rough for a bit. Then if I decide to CTB I can do it in the tent. I really don't know where to go or who to talk to - I've called the Samaritans twice already today. I"m feeling so low and lonely I don't know how to make a decision.

 

[Kramer]

I'm not homeless but I've been sleeping rough. I'm terrified of having to die just to be free of this miserable life. As of yesterday it's gotten a little easier since I realize the only alternative is neverending Groundhog Day.

 

[LittleJem]

I'm not homeless but I've been sleeping rough. I'm terrified of having to die just to be free of this miserable life. As of yesterday it's gotten a little easier since I realize the only alternative is neverending Groundhog Day.

It's a dark choice for sure.

I'm not scared of death, I'm just so exhausted. I can't even seem to get a suicide buddy! So will need to organise all of that also alone. As time goes on, anything that was stopping me from dying disappears.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

since I realize the only alternative is neverending Groundhog Day.

I have mentioned this movie so many times on this forum, every day is the same I just wake up and repeat it´s the same day all over again nothing ever changes which is why I started to drink often now it´s been 4 days since I last drank alcohol but considering doing it today because well every day is the same but when drunk I just feel a little more excited about watching movies (usually Disney movies or comedy movies) like going from 0% to 5% excitement but it´s still better than 0%

 

[Kramer]

It's a dark choice for sure.

I'm not scared of death, I'm just so exhausted. I can't even seem to get a suicide buddy! So will need to organise all of that also alone. As time goes on, anything that was stopping me from dying disappears.

Even if I had a buddy, I wouldn't trust them. I'd assume they'd try and fuck it all up.

I have mentioned this movie so many times on this forum, every day is the same I just wake up and repeat it´s the same day all over again nothing ever changes which is why I started to drink often now it´s been 4 days since I last drank alcohol but considering doing it today because well every day is the same but when drunk I just feel a little more excited about watching movies (usually Disney movies or comedy movies) like going from 0% to 5% excitement but it´s still better than 0%

I can understand why many adults are alcoholics. What I don't understand is why they try and quit. Being sober would be hell.

 

[Meditation guide]

every day is the same I just wake up and repeat it´s the same day all over again nothing ever changes

Every day is exactly the same for me. In pain. Suffering. Five years of this now.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

Even if I had a buddy, I wouldn't trust them. I'd assume they'd try and fuck it all up.

I can understand why many adults are alcoholics. What I don't understand is why they try and quit. Being sober would be hell.

Because I hate alcohol, even at age 16 I knew alcohol was poison for my body so I chose to smoke weed and with weed there is no hangover it was so nice but now I just get anxiety if I try to smoke weed otherwise I´d do that instead.

And I have to quit since I am tapering off benzos and I have to be drug free before they will take me in to an outpatient clinic for anxiety and obsessive thoughts to try and treat my throat problem.

Also I don´t get any euphoria from alcohol anymore so it´s not as exciting as when I started drinking and I need 5-6 beers to feel drunk so it´s a drag to have to drink so many before feeling it and the stomach only holds 1 liter so I can drink 3 quickly and then wait 30+ minutes and drink some more so annoying and I don´t like hard liquor even when mixed with soda, I don´t get how people can take shots I tried a sip half a year ago from the bottle of a liquor bottle that was 40% and I almost puked alcohol is so disgusting.

Every day is exactly the same for me. In pain. Suffering. Five years of this now.

I had depression since I was late 13/early 14 but still lived life and had a fun an exciting life in my teenage years as you probably have seen me saying a million times but the last 6 years has been nothing but suffering.

 

[Meditation guide]

I'd assume they'd try and fuck it all up.

That is a given.