Help Has anyone here "ruined their life" because of what they did when they were depressed

[Gunnersup]

Truth be told, I feel mentally fine right now. But for the past year I was very, very depressed and managed to do absolutely zero of my college work. So now I am paying the price for my prior actions and it sucks. I have to deal with my school guidance counselors and proffesors to fix my school situation.

Has this happened to anyone else? I feel mentally better then ever but my situation in school is destroyed due to my prior depression. Like, if my grades would go up all of a sudden I would be a happy human. But I'm stuck trying to fix my past actions

 

[WornOutLife]

Yes, depression made me get fatter,become a NEET, and ruined my health but now I'm working again at least.

 

[JigsawFeelin]

yeah, BPD actions though. Shouldn't have ruined my last two relationships, nor alienated my friends.

The only positive is that I no longer have any ties to my home city. I can move. I have no family, friends or (currently) job. I can try again somewhere new.

 

[death137]

Yes I did but my mental illness forced me to do so. I've depression but social anxiety is mainly to be blamed. My life has been completely ruined.

 

[Beachedwhale]

Yes. Due to social anxiety and depression I ruined the past decade. I ruined the chance to give myself happiness even though it was right there for the taking. Golden opportunities. That's what hurts the most. It is constantly haunting me every second.

 

[Gunnersup]

Yes I did but my mental illness forced me to do so. I've depression but social anxiety is mainly to be blamed. My life has been completely ruined.

Yes. Due to social anxiety and depression I ruined the past decade. I ruined the chance to give myself happiness even though it was right there for the taking. Golden opportunities. That's what hurts the most. It is constantly haunting me every second.

Are both of you still depressed or are you mentally stable now?

 

[Rockman]

No. I got seriously depressed cause life was ruined. I finished my degree with depression. But guess what. It doesnt matter. Just waste time, money, and experiences. Wasted years of life only to tear the diploma at the end. I'm surprised people are stuck in this madness.

 

[death137]

Are both of you still depressed or are you mentally stable now?

I'm still depressed

 

[Gunnersup]

No. I got seriously depressed cause life was ruined. I finished my degree with depression. But guess what. It doesnt matter. Just waste time, money, and experiences. Wasted years of life only to tear the diploma at the end. I'm surprised people are stuck in this madness.

So your saying that you regret going to college?

 

[Beachedwhale]

Are both of you still depressed or are you mentally stable now?

I think I've had low level depression for years. I don't really know. I've had sleep issues and no energy but I don't know why. It started when I got burnt out in high school. Only in the past couple of months has it really spiralled into major depression because I finally reviewed my life. But I don't even know if it's just that. I have other weird symptoms due to an antidepressant which is what brought this on. Before the antidepressant I did start to become lethargic and depressed but the antidepressant gave other symptoms like that fatigue you get when you start to get sick...Crippling fatigue. Sexual dysfunction. I only took one pill and it fucked me up.

 

[Canttakeitanymore]

Many many friendships

 

[Gunnersup]

I think I've had low level depression for years. I don't really know. I've had sleep issues and no energy but I don't know why. It started when I got burnt out in high school. Only in the past couple of months has it really spiralled into major depression because I finally reviewed my life. But I don't even know if it's just that. I have other weird symptoms due to an antidepressant which is what brought this on. Before the antidepressant I did start to become lethargic and depressed but the antidepressant gave other symptoms like that fatigue you get when you start to get sick...Crippling fatigue. Sexual dysfunction.

Alot of times low energy + sleep issues can be due to sleep apnea, you might want to see if you have that. I know that I have it so I'm getting surgery for it in a year

 

[Beachedwhale]

Alot of times low energy + sleep issues can be due to sleep apnea, you might want to see if you have that. I know that I have it so I'm getting surgery for it in a year

Yeah I have the home test kit. Did you do that or the overnight lab?

 

[Gunnersup]

Many many friendships

Same thing here. Altgough I'm slowly building back up the relationships

 

[strangeceleste]

Sending hugs. I'm the same and I don't know what to do. After my attempt obviously uni have been really supportive, but I keep having extension after extension to try to complete assignments I just couldn't get myself to do, even though I was so academically successful prior to last year. I hope you have the support you need to be able to be successful. You are more than your grades, but I know the sense of failure that comes with not being able to achieve things you are capable of normally. Good luck

 

[Gunnersup]

Yeah I have the home test kit. Did you do that or the overnight lab?

I did an overnight lab, it was severe apnea. I'm getting a double jaw surgery which has the added benefit of improving my looks which is going to be nice

Sending hugs. I'm the same and I don't know what to do. After my attempt obviously uni have been really supportive, but I keep having extension after extension to try to complete assignments I just couldn't get myself to do, even though I was so academically successful prior to last year. I hope you have the support you need to be able to be successful. You are more than your grades, but I know the sense of failure that comes with not being able to achieve things you are capable of normally. Good luck

Great to hear. How did your Uni react to the low performance? Were they supportive and did they offer help?

 

[Tkmiz_Tsukumizu]

Blowing all of my money, burning bridges with a lot of employers, letting go of my appearence and getting arrested for drunk driving, I was trying to sleep in my car and put my keys under the car outside since I was under the influence and police still tried charging me, though it was thankfully thrown out due to being my first offence and the situation. My mother committing suicide recently and multiple stressors.
Slowly trying to rebuild my life, but when I become depressed I spiral and self sabotage most times.

 

[Beachedwhale]

I did an overnight lab, it was severe apnea. I'm getting a double jaw surgery which has the added benefit of improving my looks which is going to be nice

Great to hear. How did your Uni react to the low performance? Were they supportive and did they offer help?

A part of me is hoping that I don't have it because that would mean I just deteriorated for and wasted an entire decade for no bloody reason. I even thought of doing a sleep test many years ago but never got round to it. I might still ctb anyway because my life is already ruined.

 

[strangeceleste]

Great to hear. How did your Uni react to the low performance? Were they supportive and did they offer help?

They didn't really understand what was going on when I couldn't submit things on time, but kept telling me to 'get help' for what appeared to be anxiety and I kept saying there was nothing wrong even though I was very actively suicidal. There's help for people who want help, but you need to feel deserving of it and I wanted to die, largely for other reasons which were exacerbated by my lack of academic success. I have a second chance now but I'm fucking it up again because I can't seem to do anything. It's a truly vicious cycle. I seem to be ruining my life in every regard, and I don't know how to stop being so self destructive

 

[Celerity]

Honestly can't really tell. I make bad decisions no matter what. Doesn't make much of a difference whether I'm depressed or not. More substance abuse for sure when depressed though.

 

[Beachedwhale]

No. I got seriously depressed cause life was ruined. I finished my degree with depression. But guess what. It doesnt matter. Just waste time, money, and experiences. Wasted years of life only to tear the diploma at the end. I'm surprised people are stuck in this madness.

So you regret your degree?

 

[Gunnersup]

They didn't really understand what was going on when I couldn't submit things on time, but kept telling me to 'get help' for what appeared to be anxiety and I kept saying there was nothing wrong even though I was very actively suicidal. There's help for people who want help, but you need to feel deserving of it and I wanted to die, largely for other reasons which were exacerbated by my lack of academic success. I have a second chance now but I'm fucking it up again because I can't seem to do anything. It's a truly vicious cycle. I seem to be ruining my life in every regard, and I don't know how to stop being so self destructive

My academic failures trigger my depression, and the depression causes me to do even worse in school. Like I'll just lie in bed in my dorm instead of going to class self-loathing about my grades. This causes my grades to lower even more and the cycle continues

 

[DonTellMeToStayAlive]

Truth be told, I feel mentally fine right now. But for the past year I was very, very depressed and managed to do absolutely zero of my college work. So now I am paying the price for my prior actions and it sucks. I have to deal with my school guidance counselors and proffesors to fix my school situation.

Has this happened to anyone else? I feel mentally better then ever but my situation in school is destroyed due to my prior depression. Like, if my grades would go up all of a sudden I would be a happy human. But I'm stuck trying to fix my past actions

same honestly, same

 

[Josef2000]

For me I didjt make any effort because I was going to kill myself, that was my excuse. Neglected health, teeth, alienated myself, ended relationships, didn't study, fucked up my credit score, gained weight.

Many attempts later I'm here putting back the pieces

 

[DemonicAngel]

Yes..I pushed away my true love. Now I feel it's too late to meet someone get married and have a family

I have zero real friends besides my big brother.

Again I ruined my chance to do something with my life educationally speaking. I have my HS diploma and went to community college right after, was doing well stayed on the dean's list. But I had a breakdown and my meds weren't working. They were using me as a psychotropic experiment. I had stopped that college and just kept applying and dropping out so I could blow the money that they give you for academic costs after your tution is paid. I did this at about 6 schools and of course since I dropped out I owe each one the money. I suppose I doesn't matter I just want someone to publish my stuff and you don't need a degree for that you just need to be good.

 

[Trisolaris]

Yes, when I was depressed I made the decision to go back on psych meds and it fucked me up irreversibly.

 

[Gunnersup]

Yes..I pushed away my true love. Now I feel it's too late to meet someone get married and have a family

I have zero real friends besides my big brother.

Again I ruined my chance to do something with my life educationally speaking. I have my HS diploma and went to community college right after, was doing well stayed on the dean's list. But I had a breakdown and my meds weren't working. They were using me as a psychotropic experiment. I had stopped that college and just kept applying and dropping out so I could blow the money that they give you for academic costs after your tution is paid. I did this at about 6 schools and of course since I dropped out I owe each one the money. I suppose I doesn't matter I just want someone to publish my stuff and you don't need a degree for that you just need to be good.

Holy shit that must be alot of debt. How has the student loans worked out? Do you still owe for them?

Yes, when I was depressed I made the decision to go back on psych meds and it fucked me up irreversibly.

I'm getting the idea that meds aren't a good idea... You don't recommend I try them, right? I've never been on meds before

 

[lofticries]

I've been depressed all my life. There's probably a lot of people I pushed away and lot of opportunities i've missed because of this stupid illness.

 

[DemonicAngel]

Holy shit that must be alot of debt. How has the student loans worked out? Do you still owe for them?

I'm getting the idea that meds aren't a good idea... You don't recommend I try them, right? I've never been on meds before

It wasn't my student loans per say. I had pell grants that covered MOST of my tuition. If there's a remaining amount left after tuition that was awarded to you, it's refunded to you with stuff like gas costs and supplies in mind BUT you can use it on anything you want. However if you drop out you have to pay that back, not the whole tuition just what was refunded.

As for my student loans I'm on disability with it stated I will likely never work so my loans got excused.

As for meds the ones I'm on now I like but my life situation is fucked and it won't change so no meds in the world can fix that. The problem with psychotropic meds is you often have to play around or experiment with different meds or med combos until you get it right. A lot of people get tired of being experimented on and give up. There is a new genealogical test, where they see your brain chemistry. The see what chemicals are too high or low and it tells them what medicine would work and what percentage each one would work. I think some of the fancy private insurances cover but other than that it's costly. But hey I was only 9 when they started on me and in my mid twenties I started to feel like I was on the right ones but I had to make them keep me on those instead of more experiments.

 

[Carrotcake]

Depression has ruined every aspect of my life. Health, education, work, friends, family, hobbies, appearance, etc. etc.

I often wonder if trying to recover is even worth it. Even if I come out of it, I will find myself in this life that I don't want to live.