Discussion Has anyone experienced major trauma which they believe has driven them to want to CTB - but the rest of society doesn't see it as a major trauma?

[needsomeoptions]

I wonder if anyone else has a story which they believe is THE THING which is causing them to give up on life? I've been in therapy (therapist doesn't know my plans to CTB) - but she has suggested to me it's not THE THING which is causing the harm, it's the fact no-one I share THE THING with seems to care / want to do anything about it. She says each time I've shared THE THING with someone who's belittled or minimised the trauma it's caused further trauma.

Does anyone else have a similar experience?

I'm a bit shy to share MY THING incase you think it's stupid or not enough to want to CTB.

 

[black and white]

WE can't hierarchize trauma as we can't say that people react the same. Some people had a "normal life" but parents divorce have been a trauma for them and created insecurity or whatever. Some may never experienced trauma in their life and yet being depressed, suicidal and suffering a lot.
On the other hand some people could have experienced hard trauma and succeeded to live their life, even make it a force for themselves to accomplish much more things....

So it's not important how the society consider your traumas, how seriously or not.there is no competition to know who has the right to suffer or not, at what level etc.

We are all highly subjective and feel, handle and react to things differently.

 

[needsomeoptions]

Thank you for commenting. I think what you're saying is that there is no trauma hierarchy? I agree. But I also think it's perhaps more possible to heal from trauma when there's an acknowledgement from society that the suffering is valid, and perhaps to even take action? Especially in cases where there have been miscarriages of justice. And for some reason society does place certain miscarriages of justice higher on the "trauma hierarchy" - even our legal system alone acknowledges that.

 

[Deathismyfriend]

We humans feel things diffrently but I get what you are talking about because I have that something that keeps me depressed even after it happend 9 years ago and i just think about it every single fucking day and it makes me wanna die beacuse i believe that if i die the pain sadness and nostalgia will be over.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

In time, I hope you'll feel more comfortable about opening up regarding your trauma, people on the forum are usually quite supportive and I don't think most people here would invalidate you or perceive what you've been through as lesser. Especially if that event has made you contemplate ctb, I believe that's proof that what happened has had a serious effect on you and should be treated with the consideration it deserves by others.

To answer your question, yes, I've also been through what I consider major trauma but society does not view it as severely as I do. When I was a young child I believe I was molested by a doctor, and this event had a snowball effect when it came to ruining my life.

My memories are extremely hazy, but I remember the direct aftermath and feelings of being violated. My family members would hit me because I was afraid of doctors and I would be held down and forced to endure things I didn't want to. I developed an aversion (and a disgusting, weird fetish) towards medical environments when I was incredibly young. I started acting out sexually way before puberty and developed a fear of penetration. If there was a medical show on TV showing some exam or procedure my fight or flight response would kick in.

The older I got, the worse this fear and PTSD became. I would avoid anything relating to doctors like the black plague. No one understood what I was going through. By the time I was diagnosed with PTSD at age 19 it was already too late for me. I was raped by a friend of my ex boyfriend and even though I had visible injuries many people did not believe me because I refused to go to the hospital for a "rape exam."

Because of my fear, people around me would accuse me of lying or exaggerating any issues I had, as their default response for everything was to go to doctors, doctors are good trustworthy people, and I'm mentally ill and stupid. When I forced myself to go to doctors, they treated me horribly and the panic spiralled from there. In my lifetime, I can name only a handful of medical staff who actually acknowledged or believed that I have PTSD. Most people do not want to believe that medical staff can and will cause harm.

I have tried just about every drug under the sun including psychedelics and the carousel of psychiatric prescriptions. I've done years of therapy and tried to force myself to do exposure. Because I'm a woman, it's always treated as if my consent does not matter and I need to subject myself to all and any medical procedures and probing, even if my body and mind physically can't handle it. There is pretty much 0 awareness of medical PTSD.

I've been accused many times of not wanting to get better, or put in the work, but the reality is modern therapy and psychiatry is absolutely useless in a case like mine. I often feel like a 5 year old still frozen in time, unable to say no or escape. Other people rarely have compassion for me outside of this website. Hands down enduring this trauma is a major contributor in why I need to kill myself. I've now had PTSD for 20 years.

Also, I agree with you completely that dealing with problems is harder when there is no external validation and acknowledgement of them. A huge issue I've encountered throughout my life is that cases like mine are never documented or researched. 99.9% of therapists and psychiatrists have never heard of a situation like mine and end up dumbfounded. It's like being on a deserted island all alone.

 

[black and white]

Thank you for commenting. I think what you're saying is that there is no trauma hierarchy? I agree. But I also think it's perhaps more possible to heal from trauma when there's an acknowledgement from society that the suffering is valid, and perhaps to even take action? Especially in cases where there have been miscarriages of justice. And for some reason society does place certain miscarriages of justice higher on the "trauma hierarchy" - even our legal system alone acknowledges that.

Maybe the récognition of the society may help, sometimes, for some people.

All i'm saying is we can't generalize, every situation is different. As you first post is not very explicit, it's difficult to answer more precisely. I feel like you're suffering from a certain event, but you are frustrated because the society doesnt consider it as a trauma, or not seriously enough..??? Honnestly no matter the society, it's an insane World driven by Bad intents like profits instead of caring for the people etc.
So you shouldn't bother much about the considération of this society. Here values tend to be inverted. Nobody Care about our trauma or suffering, nobody will help... Dont wait that much from this World. You can only count on yourself, that's sad but true...

 

[Hotsackage]

Marijuana, all I can say is lol

 

[feelinggloomy]

For me I was traumatized by my son's mental illness and subsequent CTB. The whole thing traumatized me. People feel for you coz you lost a child but very few people understand how traumatizing it was. I'm suicidal now and that's part of the reason …. It's a trauma reaction for me. But it's also more … I don't want to live without my son.

 

[thenamingofcats]

Yes. Society doesn't consider most things to be traumatic including being beaten in childhood, raped, etc. It's considered to be a normal experience or right of passage.

 

[needsomeoptions]

We humans feel things diffrently but I get what you are talking about because I have that something that keeps me depressed even after it happend 9 years ago and i just think about it every single fucking day and it makes me wanna die beacuse i believe that if i die the pain sadness and nostalgia will be over.

Yes I am the same. 3 years ago for me - but I can see how that will turn into 9. The pain is so great. Im sorry for your trauma

In time, I hope you'll feel more comfortable about opening up regarding your trauma, people on the forum are usually quite supportive and I don't think most people here would invalidate you or perceive what you've been through as lesser. Especially if that event has made you contemplate ctb, I believe that's proof that what happened has had a serious effect on you and should be treated with the consideration it deserves by others.

To answer your question, yes, I've also been through what I consider major trauma but society does not view it as severely as I do. When I was a young child I believe I was molested by a doctor, and this event had a snowball effect when it came to ruining my life.

My memories are extremely hazy, but I remember the direct aftermath and feelings of being violated. My family members would hit me because I was afraid of doctors and I would be held down and forced to endure things I didn't want to. I developed an aversion (and a disgusting, weird fetish) towards medical environments when I was incredibly young. I started acting out sexually way before puberty and developed a fear of penetration. If there was a medical show on TV showing some exam or procedure my fight or flight response would kick in.

The older I got, the worse this fear and PTSD became. I would avoid anything relating to doctors like the black plague. No one understood what I was going through. By the time I was diagnosed with PTSD at age 19 it was already too late for me. I was raped by a friend of my ex boyfriend and even though I had visible injuries many people did not believe me because I refused to go to the hospital for a "rape exam."

Because of my fear, people around me would accuse me of lying or exaggerating any issues I had, as their default response for everything was to go to doctors, doctors are good trustworthy people, and I'm mentally ill and stupid. When I forced myself to go to doctors, they treated me horribly and the panic spiralled from there. In my lifetime, I can name only a handful of medical staff who actually acknowledged or believed that I have PTSD. Most people do not want to believe that medical staff can and will cause harm.

I have tried just about every drug under the sun including psychedelics and the carousel of psychiatric prescriptions. I've done years of therapy and tried to force myself to do exposure. Because I'm a woman, it's always treated as if my consent does not matter and I need to subject myself to all and any medical procedures and probing, even if my body and mind physically can't handle it. There is pretty much 0 awareness of medical PTSD.

I've been accused many times of not wanting to get better, or put in the work, but the reality is modern therapy and psychiatry is absolutely useless in a case like mine. I often feel like a 5 year old still frozen in time, unable to say no or escape. Other people rarely have compassion for me outside of this website. Hands down enduring this trauma is a major contributor in why I need to kill myself. I've now had PTSD for 20 years.

Also, I agree with you completely that dealing with problems is harder when there is no external validation and acknowledgement of them. A huge issue I've encountered throughout my life is that cases like mine are never documented or researched. 99.9% of therapists and psychiatrists have never heard of a situation like mine and end up dumbfounded. It's like being on a deserted island all alone.

Thank you for your thoughtful response. I suppose there is some self-shaming happening also.

Im saddened to hear your story. In my eyes it is utterly wrong a doctor harmed you, and I can only imagine how much further hurt was caused by your families reaction to your valid fear response. It's not right the term PTSD exists (and I expect was created by the medical profession) for there to be such denial that Medical PTSD exists.

Your decision to not get a medical exam after an assault given your history is completely valid. I am so sorry that some people didn't believe you. I do understand how deep the pain of denial of miscarriages of justice runs.

My trauma did not happen in a medical environment - but in a spiritual community. So also a space which is perceived to be "good and caring" so I can understand a little of how confusing that is x

Maybe the récognition of the society may help, sometimes, for some people.

All i'm saying is we can't generalize, every situation is different. As you first post is not very explicit, it's difficult to answer more precisely. I feel like you're suffering from a certain event, but you are frustrated because the society doesnt consider it as a trauma, or not seriously enough..??? Honnestly no matter the society, it's an insane World driven by Bad intents like profits instead of caring for the people etc.
So you shouldn't bother much about the considération of this society. Here values tend to be inverted. Nobody Care about our trauma or suffering, nobody will help... Dont wait that much from this World. You can only count on yourself, that's sad but true...

Exactly as you say, I'm suffering from an event. The people who could stand up for me and say "what happened was wrong" are instead telling me it's my fault I'm hurting so much / can't make peace with what happened/ can't forgive and move on/need medical intervention etc.

You hit the nail on the head when you mentioned bad intents like profits. It's broken my heart to realise this. And is one of the reasons I think humankind doesn't exist in the idealistic way I always thought it did.

Yes. Society doesn't consider most things to be traumatic including being beaten in childhood, raped, etc. It's considered to be a normal experience or right of passage.

it shouldn't be like that

For me I was traumatized by my son's mental illness and subsequent CTB. The whole thing traumatized me. People feel for you coz you lost a child but very few people understand how traumatizing it was. I'm suicidal now and that's part of the reason …. It's a trauma reaction for me. But it's also more … I don't want to live without my son.

I'm sorry.

 

[sserafim]

As far as I can remember, I've never wanted to be human and have always desired to be a cat instead. I'd say the trauma for me was being born as a human and being forced to live in this absurd world and in this predatory and exploitative society. Humanity exists in chains, in a state of modern day slavery. Why couldn't I have been a housecat or a snow leopard? That way, I could be truly free (from other people and society). Being human is the source and cause of all of my troubles. The worst thing is that there was really no need for me to be human. Who'd want to be human anyway? I don't understand why anyone would *choose* to be human. I 100% would be happier as a snow leopard or some other feline

 

[RosebyAnyName]

I feel this pretty much exactly. I don't feel comfortable sharing the details but the extremely short answer is: I was deeply traumatized by something that another child did to me when I was a child, but because it's "normal / expected" for children that age to do what they did to me, nobody's ever though I deserved to feel traumatized by it and they always respond weird when I try to explain it to them. "That's just how boys are," "why are you upset?" etc.

Even my therapist's first reaction was, and this is nearly an exact quotation: "what he (the other child) did was normal, and your reaction was abnormal." I think she tried to backpedal when I told her that was a terrible thing to say, that it's "not what she meant"... but I already know that's what everyone else thinks anyways so it's not like it's even possible for people to take my feelings seriously. It was the first time I ever seriously considered CtB as an option, and I was only 6 or 7 years old.

 

[needsomeoptions]

I feel this pretty much exactly. I don't feel comfortable sharing the details but the extremely short answer is: I was deeply traumatized by something that another child did to me when I was a child, but because it's "normal / expected" for children that age to do what they did to me, nobody's ever though I deserved to feel traumatized by it and they always respond weird when I try to explain it to them. "That's just how boys are," "why are you upset?" etc.

Even my therapist's first reaction was, and this is nearly an exact quotation: "what he (the other child) did was normal, and your reaction was abnormal." I think she tried to backpedal when I told her that was a terrible thing to say, that it's "not what she meant"... but I already know that's what everyone else thinks anyways so it's not like it's even possible for people to take my feelings seriously. It was the first time I ever seriously considered CtB as an option, and I was only 6 or 7 years old.

Wow that your therapist said your reaction was abnormal. It's just messed up. When something traumatises you to want to CTB it's wrong. I kind of feel like it's those sort of reactions that cause the greater harm and make it impossible to heal.

 

[Ash]

Yeah. There are some things that people recognise because it's something they're scared of too and other things they're not so familiar with or haven't considered or whatever so don't rank it as highly (hence the perceived hierarchy). But we all experience different things differently, and at different stages in our lives, too. So it gets messy and complicated. I'm going through something at the moment that I can't seem to get anyone to recognise and it's almost as upsetting as the original events. More so, in some ways, as it's current and they're past. FML and all that.

 

[Lostandlooking]

I experienced this as well, it's sad to see so many people experienced this. There shouldn't be a trauma hierarchy, but in reality your trauma will be judged according to societal standards.

I vividly remember talking to my doctor about what I was going through and being very suicidal. And they told me it was not something to get suicidal about. It's rough. And I don't really want to share, not even here.

 

[TheLastBoyOnEarth]

Chronic pain though time has made me give up on life. Some people seem understanding of the trauma of chronic pain but some people don't as it's hard for them to imagine, being something they've never experienced.

 

[divinemistress36]

I had a stroke 7 years ago from an assault and people act like I should be over it

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I was traumatized as a child by my dad yelling at and beating me any time I had grades less than an A but that's just a typical Asian experience and I'm Asian so I really shouldn't complain I guess. I've talked with other Asians and some of them had it way worse with both of their parents being equally willing to abuse them yet they still turned out way better than me so I guess I'm just overly sensitive.

The other main traumas I've had are also ridiculously minor and I should have moved on already but I'm just too stupid and inept to do so. My other main sources of trauma were getting rejected by every woman I've ever been interested in. That's only been four women in my long thirty year life because it takes me too many years to move on and no one will help me besides telling me to move on and that getting rejected shouldn't be traumatic enough to be causing me to act the way I do and yet it is somehow for me. I wish I wasn't so incompetent and I could overcome it like any normal person could but I just can't handle how useless I am. Many people who I've told that this is why I want to CTB find my motivation ridiculous but they just don't understand how aggravating it is to be 30 and have never had any romantic experience while wanting it.

Something that also happened to me that I find less traumatizing because I don't think about it much is that one of my male best friends tried to touch me inappropriately. I cut him off not because of this but because I started getting busy and it was only much later that I realized how uncomfortable he made me. Then I started putting the pieces together that he must have been frustrated that I wasn't gay and that's why he wanted to be my friend. Why must I only be cursed to be liked by people I can't like back and to only like people who don't like me back?

 

[Pluto]

This is the story of my life. I had a 'Dark Triad' Nfather who was a mastermind of emotional abuse, yet everything appeared perfectly normal to outsiders. My older sisters were raised from a young age that it's 'OK' to torment their brother. I was bullied endlessly in school because I knew nothing else. I didn't finish high school because I couldn't cope.

Nfather then found a psychologist who reported that I was incapable of functioning normally due to abnormalities from birth, thus denying any abuse had occurred. The wider family stopped speaking to me.

Life since then has consisted of working awful jobs because I'm uneducated, and being unable to have relationships because the experience with my sisters left me with pathological fears of the opposite gender. Somehow I've always attracted sadistic people who take advantage of me because I lack socially intelligence, lack boundaries yet have always been desperately lonely.

It took over 20 years to finally trust a psychologist again, and then I got my current C-PTSD diagnosis. To this day it's really hard to talk about what happened because no particular incident sounds all that bad. Just the aggregate of thousands of 'mini-traumas'. The stress has taken a physical toll now.

As an aside, I have a good amount of knowledge about spiritual communities so might be able to help there. It's a topic in itself, but is also a potential breeding ground for Dark Triads. They're a lot of fun to deal with.

 

[DolerDolerDoler]

would definitely be circumcision. especially as an american. it's something youll struggle to find anyone to open up about since it's so commonly practiced.

in my case masturbation and erections can be uncomfortable to painful and the appearance of the scars and discoloration and cracks disgusts me

 

[cloud99]

Life.

 

[nightlygem]

I don't really fall into this category because most people can agree that this is a valid reason to be suicidal from this trauma. Finding my dad's dead body. He hung himself in our garage; full suspension.
What drags me down is that everyone in my family says "you're not the only one who suffers because of his death." And "we're all still dealing with his loss", which makes me feel like they are pushing my trauma aside.
The truth is, I never left my father's side. I was his baby, his ride or die, his wingman, his gem. Finding his body wasn't just me finding a random dead body. It wasn't just "oh, my dad died". I saw my whole world crumble right in front of me. my future completely gone ..
This event destroyed me, and it continues to haunt me every day. I lost not only my dad, but my best friend. I long to be with him one day.

 

[Ligottian]

Many "small" traumas build up over time to become as a large one. That's me, anyway.

 

[sancta-simplicitas]

I'd argue that most major traumas are ones that society fails to recognize as traumatic - especially non-physical instances of violence such as emotional abuse, neglect, bullying and betrayal. The American Psychiatry Association are very clear on which events "counts" as traumatic in the diagnostic criteria for PTSD and those seems to have been cemented in the general mind as the only things that are allowed to be traumatizing.

As for me, I've been traumatized by emotional incest, then followed a misdiagnosis of autism that had me believe I was socially impaired and abnormal beyond fixing through my entire childhood and most of my adulthood. Then followed an instance of assault by a classmate which had the whole school - even my friends - side with the girl who assaulted me. She later got a court sentence and my former best friend was one of those who testified against me. Then came emotional abuse and death threats (primary and secondary, the first threathened to kill herself all the time, the second threathened to kill me) by two girlfriends and when I went to the mental health services, I got traumatized further from medical neglect and emotional abuse. Partly because they refused to treat my PTSD snd even went as far as blaming it on my supposed "autism".

Lastly, I was in a two year long trauma bond with a psychologist with poor boundaries and one hell of a Messiah complex. She even went as far as hypnotizing me without my informed consent and it broke me. That's why I'm here. People who haven't been abused by a therapist are often extremely quick to minimize it, even jumping to the therapists defense. "There's always going to be a few bad eggs. Therapists are good people", "My therapist would never do this.", "Are you sure you aren't imagining things?", "This is probably transference.", "Have you seen another therapist? You should see another therapist". I've made connection with other people who've been through what I have and they all - me included - describe it as similar to one thing: rape. It feels like rape. It's that much of an intrusion in your soul. Yet, there is no help to get. There are no support groups, no legal help, no therapists who specializes in therapy abuse. Hell, most of them seem to get vastly uncomfortable with the topic.

 

[black and white]

I had a stroke 7 years ago from an assault and people act like I should be over it

Empty minds, empty hearts. They don't feel much so it's normal for them to "move forward" as they can go from a love relation to another so easily, Can forget people so easily, are not sensitive to all poverty and sufferings they are exposed everyday etc. So much example that shows it. Things slip on them... Good baby slaves...

No one has the right to tell you anything about what happened to you and the way you react. Poor judgement about what they don't know.

 

[divinemistress36]

Empty minds, empty hearts. They don't feel much so it's normal for them to "move forward" as they can go from a love relation to another so easily, Can forget people so easily, are not sensitive to all poverty and sufferings they are exposed everyday etc. So much example that shows it. Things slip on them... Good baby slaves...

No one has the right to tell you anything about what happened to you and the way you react. Poor judgement about what they don't know.

Baby slaves

 

[black and white]

Baby slaves

Krrrkrrrkrrrrkrrr yeah lol.... Better to laugh than to cry, right.... But honnestly everyday looking at them, i want to beat my head on the wall....

 

[defunkt]

I've been OBSESSED with hurting myself ever since I could remember.

So many things including dysfunctional family, and severe incidents regarding a disability that made me be in pain and frequent doctors and one of them, who by the way my mom continued to take me to him even though my teens.

And he also continued to molest me every single time.

But I just became very sexual and what everyone called slutty and I had like the worst kind of fetishes (including medical) after that, like even super young I had these urges even when I didn't know what to do with them.

And then all the times I tried to CTB.

Once by stealing my grandmas pills and several other dumb ways.

But the worst two were probably when I cut myself so bad my mom had to take me to the SAME RAT TURD DOCTOR because he was what is known as family doctor in the Asian country I reside in. And he right after treatment and giving me tranquilizers and anti anxiety because I felt like my brain was weird. I didn't know back then it was anxiety yet.

This literally happened a second time when I took some different substances together, like coke and heroin overdose whatever it was that caused it and she took me back to him because he was the only one who would keep it to himself.

So yes. I think that's what started the whole spiral.

After that it was just getting molested and raped as a minor and all of that good shit. lol

MY BRAIN IS FRIED RIGHT NOW
but I read every one of your posts and every single one is so relatable and I'll probably talk more about it later, but I guess I needed to say this because a lot of times doctors can be the worst kind of villains . I've been forced to visit them consistently as a kid because of the disability. And I found maybe three who actually gave a shit about me and were informed about the illness and actually helped.

I once tried to tell my mom I got raped and she acted like she didn't even hear me.

 

[needsomeoptions]

I'd argue that most major traumas are ones that society fails to recognize as traumatic - especially non-physical instances of violence such as emotional abuse, neglect, bullying and betrayal. The American Psychiatry Association are very clear on which events "counts" as traumatic in the diagnostic criteria for PTSD and those seems to have been cemented in the general mind as the only things that are allowed to be traumatizing.

As for me, I've been traumatized by emotional incest, then followed a misdiagnosis of autism that had me believe I was socially impaired and abnormal beyond fixing through my entire childhood and most of my adulthood. Then followed an instance of assault by a classmate which had the whole school - even my friends - side with the girl who assaulted me. She later got a court sentence and my former best friend was one of those who testified against me. Then came emotional abuse and death threats (primary and secondary, the first threathened to kill herself all the time, the second threathened to kill me) by two girlfriends and when I went to the mental health services, I got traumatized further from medical neglect and emotional abuse. Partly because they refused to treat my PTSD snd even went as far as blaming it on my supposed "autism".

Lastly, I was in a two year long trauma bond with a psychologist with poor boundaries and one hell of a Messiah complex. She even went as far as hypnotizing me without my informed consent and it broke me. That's why I'm here. People who haven't been abused by a therapist are often extremely quick to minimize it, even jumping to the therapists defense. "There's always going to be a few bad eggs. Therapists are good people", "My therapist would never do this.", "Are you sure you aren't imagining things?", "This is probably transference.", "Have you seen another therapist? You should see another therapist". I've made connection with other people who've been through what I have and they all - me included - describe it as similar to one thing: rape. It feels like rape. It's that much of an intrusion in your soul. Yet, there is no help to get. There are no support groups, no legal help, no therapists who specializes in therapy abuse. Hell, most of them seem to get vastly uncomfortable with the topic.

This resonates so much. The damage from a trauma bond is a gross violation of trust. I also describe my experience as rape. I totally get what you mean when so many are uncomfortable with the topic - they think you are the one in the wrong. It couldn't have possibly be one of their contemporaries.

This is the story of my life. I had a 'Dark Triad' Nfather who was a mastermind of emotional abuse, yet everything appeared perfectly normal to outsiders. My older sisters were raised from a young age that it's 'OK' to torment their brother. I was bullied endlessly in school because I knew nothing else. I didn't finish high school because I couldn't cope.

Nfather then found a psychologist who reported that I was incapable of functioning normally due to abnormalities from birth, thus denying any abuse had occurred. The wider family stopped speaking to me.

Life since then has consisted of working awful jobs because I'm uneducated, and being unable to have relationships because the experience with my sisters left me with pathological fears of the opposite gender. Somehow I've always attracted sadistic people who take advantage of me because I lack socially intelligence, lack boundaries yet have always been desperately lonely.

It took over 20 years to finally trust a psychologist again, and then I got my current C-PTSD diagnosis. To this day it's really hard to talk about what happened because no particular incident sounds all that bad. Just the aggregate of thousands of 'mini-traumas'. The stress has taken a physical toll now.

As an aside, I have a good amount of knowledge about spiritual communities so might be able to help there. It's a topic in itself, but is also a potential breeding ground for Dark Triads. They're a lot of fun to deal with.

I had to look up what a Dark Triad was. Yes!! and I can imagine rife in spiritual communities - looking for vulnerable people and needing to be celebrated

 

[Nikitatos]

Therapists can be pretty stupid.

Life is complicated these days. 200 years, there was probably like three reasons anyone would want to CTB. Now, there's there's hundreds of reasons.

Tell your therapist that you're in a deep state life destruction program and that they're using advanced technology to make sure your life remains in a state of agony. Try telling that to friends and family. Your world gets pretty small in a hurry.

I have a friend who has a PHD in Psychology. She says that some things you never get over. You want to believe there's something you can do, but you can't.