Venting Has anyone else wasted their life by being terminally online?

[DesperateOne]

I got the internet when I was 12 and it completely crushed my education, social life, sleep and overall mental health. At first it was fun and novel, but then that quickly turned into an unhealthy obsession. By just staring at the screen and brainlessly scrolling for 8-12 hours per day way into the night allowed to me to dissociate from real life and its problems. It completely replaced my social life. I just bonded more with online streamers instead of with family and other IRL humans..

Because of this, I missed out on all core elementary school and high school experiences that would enable me to become a functional social adult. Now I'm 24, living a NEET lifestyle with literally nothing to show for it. My brain and identity development is still stuck in elementary school where this addiction started.

I just want to go back and live out my life in the real world, grab all the amazing experiences that were offered to me and actually make something out of myself. I could've actually been present during encounters with people in real life, but instead I either always zoned out thinking about the internet or was just completely fried from the binging that happened the previous day. Overall this unmonitored addiction took everything away from me, including my childhood...

Did anyone have or has had severe problems like this with screens as well?

 

[SoulWhisperer]

I'm relatively young and about to be left in the total darkness, at first I used games for fun, but then over the time it became just an escape tool to cope with reality. It's no mystery I feel more comfortable here, and my irl social capacities are missing due to endured trauma and a series of events. I wouldn't blame it on myself entirely because my environment was/is fucked but as of now I'm broken and too weak to be alone in a real world. The internet is fun and all, but however I must take accountability for my actions, voluntarily or not. On a side note, I hope you'll be able to turn your life for the better eventually and succeed in what your goals are; unfortunately I can't do much more than send you wishes...

 

[archiveofpain]

For me the internet is kind of a double edge sword, I'm aware that it messed me up beyond belief but at the same time it is and was one of the things that kept me sane and where I felt heard, I don't usually connect with people irl so my brain craves the social aspect of it and that makes me feel less lonely. Though I suppose the fact I'm addicted to it is due to my own dissatisfaction and lack of interest in life, mundane life bores me and I have to occupy my mind with excitement and instant gratification that otherwise I don't have because I don't want to be alive and keep living in the first place

 

[Davey36000]

Kinda, for 13 years (NEET/Hiki), but it was my only comfort. Wouldn't have done anything else anyway.

 

[sannoji]

yeah, i get this. it's very much some good some bad for me. on the one hand, there's no way i would have survived long enough to leave home without it, the effect it had helped me block out the worst of the abuse so i can thank it for that, and i've made some lovely friends who i've actually ended up meeting irl, but it's like any other addiction to me. it got me through something horrible but i now can't turn off the addiction and feel like i'm wasting my life now that i'm free.

 

[middlelord]

Looking back at it, it really sucks how much "life" i missed because of the internet/tech addiction.

I introduced to video pc video game since 3 y.o. by my dad (he used to sell and repair pc) and introduced to the internet at 11 y.o.

As a kid i never went to kindergarten, cause i was busy gaming. Thus, in my hypothesis, causes me to never really grasps the fundamentals of friendship and social skills.

As i grew older to my early teenage years, i never really "need" friends, cause i was never really bored. Video Games are fun, touching grass with other kids is tiring and boring.

As i turned to my highschool years, i was already very familiar with the internet, especially YouTube. And thus the delusion began. Every time i got asked to do an activity, or join an Organisation, I'd always refused thinking that hey maybe in the next few weeks I'd be too busy making videos for YouTube. While in reality, i was busy watching videos rather than making videos (only made 1 or 2 shitty videos). By the end of highschool my resume is pretty much blank, not many friends while my delusion still ran amok.

After that, i luckily was still accepted to a Uni. I did good the first semester, joined an org, making friend, trying almost every opportunity to be an active outstanding student. Surprisingly, i was managing my internet addiction.
But then Covid Hit, addiction wins. Just did the bare minimum of classes to graduate.

23, Near blank resume, no friends to call, no romance, no job. Guess I'm a NEET now.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

Millions. Otherwise, there wouldn't be a need for this:

Tobacco-like warning label for social media sought by US surgeon general who asks Congress to act

In an opinion piece in the The New York Times, Dr. Vivek Murthy said that social media is a contributing factor in the mental health crisis among young people.

apnews.com

 

[lizzywizzy09]

Yes. I wish I had the computer taken from me. Parents enable this sort of shit too often.

 

[SketchTurner]

I've been on it daily since 2002, it's kind of unverifiable how much it has damaged me. I am addicted to it and my brain pulls me back to it, the longest I've been away is a month or two at a time. I wouldn't be surprised if my reward system was broken by it, I do keep returning to it. All day every day on 4chan, digg, Reddit, online chat rooms, for many years. Some productive stuff too, learning, programming.

But on the other hand 2000s were more "normal" that I still did things in the real world, and I preferred the internet. Other people weren't internet addicts so it was easier to do things with people. I had friends online until I was about 15 and didn't much IRL.

The idea that if I hadn't had the internet I would not have this place to escape to in a screen, and I would be open to the world, open to experiences, open to things, as my default mode - it's a tempting idea that's how things would play out. I don't know if it's true. I am much more limiting in my internet now and don't engage with it to the level, focusing on experience, being, living, and being present - and not much has changed.

I will say 24 is young and people will excuse you for not having things sorted out, you can go out and experience the world and be present, I know it first hand you can do so and push boundaries from being an online addict. You can find things which replace it and make you forget about it. If it will solve your issues I can only shrug.
I remember the David Foster Wallace interview where he says he doesn't own a tv, not because he's above it but because he gets lost in it for hours and can't turn away. It's not a new problem I guess, and others do deal with it, although he did kill himself in the end lol.

 

[UnluckyBastard]

I never had anything going for me to begin with. I've had a few good laughs, which is enough for me.

 

[Gangrel]

Yeah but you know at least i have SOME social life because of the internet so it's not that bad, i could be a shut in doing double nothing if it wasnt for it.

 

[M4rii]

for me I withdrew when I was 12 because I was bullied. I was always on the Internet after school until late in the evening, and sometimes got up at night just to go online.
I also sometimes took sick leave just to be on the Internet. Unfortunately, my parents never really tried to take my PC away from me

At some point, when I got a job and then went to a clinic, things went downhill, I was unemployed and was only on the PC all the time, and I still am today. For 8 years now, I've only been sitting in front of the PC and doing nothing else.

It has ruined my whole life, I had neither a real childhood nor a real youth