Venting Has anyone else wasted their life by being terminally online?

[DesperateOne]

I got the internet when I was 12 and it completely crushed my education, social life, sleep and overall mental health. At first it was fun and novel, but then that quickly turned into an unhealthy obsession. By just staring at the screen and brainlessly scrolling for 8-12 hours per day way into the night allowed to me to dissociate from real life and its problems. It completely replaced my social life. I just bonded more with online streamers instead of with family and other IRL humans..

Because of this, I missed out on all core elementary school and high school experiences that would enable me to become a functional social adult. Now I'm 24, living a NEET lifestyle with literally nothing to show for it. My brain and identity development is still stuck in elementary school where this addiction started.

I just want to go back and live out my life in the real world, grab all the amazing experiences that were offered to me and actually make something out of myself. I could've actually been present during encounters with people in real life, but instead I either always zoned out thinking about the internet or was just completely fried from the binging that happened the previous day. Overall this unmonitored addiction took everything away from me, including my childhood...

Did anyone have or has had severe problems like this with screens as well?

 

[SoulWhisperer]

I'm relatively young and about to be left in the total darkness, at first I used games for fun, but then over the time it became just an escape tool to cope with reality. It's no mystery I feel more comfortable here, and my irl social capacities are missing due to endured trauma and a series of events. I wouldn't blame it on myself entirely because my environment was/is fucked but as of now I'm broken and too weak to be alone in a real world. The internet is fun and all, but however I must take accountability for my actions, voluntarily or not. On a side note, I hope you'll be able to turn your life for the better eventually and succeed in what your goals are; unfortunately I can't do much more than send you wishes...

 

[archiveofpain]

For me the internet is kind of a double edge sword, I'm aware that it messed me up beyond belief but at the same time it is and was one of the things that kept me sane and where I felt heard, I don't usually connect with people irl so my brain craves the social aspect of it and that makes me feel less lonely. Though I suppose the fact I'm addicted to it is due to my own dissatisfaction and lack of interest in life, mundane life bores me and I have to occupy my mind with excitement and instant gratification that otherwise I don't have because I don't want to be alive and keep living in the first place

 

[Davey36000]

Kinda, for 13 years (NEET/Hiki), but it was my only comfort. Wouldn't have done anything else anyway.

 

[sannoji]

yeah, i get this. it's very much some good some bad for me. on the one hand, there's no way i would have survived long enough to leave home without it, the effect it had helped me block out the worst of the abuse so i can thank it for that, and i've made some lovely friends who i've actually ended up meeting irl, but it's like any other addiction to me. it got me through something horrible but i now can't turn off the addiction and feel like i'm wasting my life now that i'm free.

 

[middlelord]

Looking back at it, it really sucks how much "life" i missed because of the internet/tech addiction.

I introduced to video pc video game since 3 y.o. by my dad (he used to sell and repair pc) and introduced to the internet at 11 y.o.

As a kid i never went to kindergarten, cause i was busy gaming. Thus, in my hypothesis, causes me to never really grasps the fundamentals of friendship and social skills.

As i grew older to my early teenage years, i never really "need" friends, cause i was never really bored. Video Games are fun, touching grass with other kids is tiring and boring.

As i turned to my highschool years, i was already very familiar with the internet, especially YouTube. And thus the delusion began. Every time i got asked to do an activity, or join an Organisation, I'd always refused thinking that hey maybe in the next few weeks I'd be too busy making videos for YouTube. While in reality, i was busy watching videos rather than making videos (only made 1 or 2 shitty videos). By the end of highschool my resume is pretty much blank, not many friends while my delusion still ran amok.

After that, i luckily was still accepted to a Uni. I did good the first semester, joined an org, making friend, trying almost every opportunity to be an active outstanding student. Surprisingly, i was managing my internet addiction.
But then Covid Hit, addiction wins. Just did the bare minimum of classes to graduate.

23, Near blank resume, no friends to call, no romance, no job. Guess I'm a NEET now.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

Millions. Otherwise, there wouldn't be a need for this:

Tobacco-like warning label for social media sought by US surgeon general who asks Congress to act

In an opinion piece in the The New York Times, Dr. Vivek Murthy said that social media is a contributing factor in the mental health crisis among young people.

apnews.com

 

[lizzywizzy09]

Yes. I wish I had the computer taken from me. Parents enable this sort of shit too often.

 

[SketchTurner]

I've been on it daily since 2002, it's kind of unverifiable how much it has damaged me. I am addicted to it and my brain pulls me back to it, the longest I've been away is a month or two at a time. I wouldn't be surprised if my reward system was broken by it, I do keep returning to it. All day every day on 4chan, digg, Reddit, online chat rooms, for many years. Some productive stuff too, learning, programming.

But on the other hand 2000s were more "normal" that I still did things in the real world, and I preferred the internet. Other people weren't internet addicts so it was easier to do things with people. I had friends online until I was about 15 and didn't much IRL.

The idea that if I hadn't had the internet I would not have this place to escape to in a screen, and I would be open to the world, open to experiences, open to things, as my default mode - it's a tempting idea that's how things would play out. I don't know if it's true. I am much more limiting in my internet now and don't engage with it to the level, focusing on experience, being, living, and being present - and not much has changed.

I will say 24 is young and people will excuse you for not having things sorted out, you can go out and experience the world and be present, I know it first hand you can do so and push boundaries from being an online addict. You can find things which replace it and make you forget about it. If it will solve your issues I can only shrug.
I remember the David Foster Wallace interview where he says he doesn't own a tv, not because he's above it but because he gets lost in it for hours and can't turn away. It's not a new problem I guess, and others do deal with it, although he did kill himself in the end lol.

 

[UnluckyBastard]

I never had anything going for me to begin with. I've had a few good laughs, which is enough for me.

 

[Gangrel]

Yeah but you know at least i have SOME social life because of the internet so it's not that bad, i could be a shut in doing double nothing if it wasnt for it.

 

[M4rii]

for me I withdrew when I was 12 because I was bullied. I was always on the Internet after school until late in the evening, and sometimes got up at night just to go online.
I also sometimes took sick leave just to be on the Internet. Unfortunately, my parents never really tried to take my PC away from me

At some point, when I got a job and then went to a clinic, things went downhill, I was unemployed and was only on the PC all the time, and I still am today. For 8 years now, I've only been sitting in front of the PC and doing nothing else.

It has ruined my whole life, I had neither a real childhood nor a real youth

 

[DesperateOne]

for me I withdrew when I was 12 because I was bullied. I was always on the Internet after school until late in the evening, and sometimes got up at night just to go online.
I also sometimes took sick leave just to be on the Internet. Unfortunately, my parents never really tried to take my PC away from me

At some point, when I got a job and then went to a clinic, things went downhill, I was unemployed and was only on the PC all the time, and I still am today. For 8 years now, I've only been sitting in front of the PC and doing nothing else.

It has ruined my whole life, I had neither a real childhood nor a real youth

Looking back at it, it really sucks how much "life" i missed because of the internet/tech addiction.

I introduced to video pc video game since 3 y.o. by my dad (he used to sell and repair pc) and introduced to the internet at 11 y.o.

As a kid i never went to kindergarten, cause i was busy gaming. Thus, in my hypothesis, causes me to never really grasps the fundamentals of friendship and social skills.

As i grew older to my early teenage years, i never really "need" friends, cause i was never really bored. Video Games are fun, touching grass with other kids is tiring and boring.

As i turned to my highschool years, i was already very familiar with the internet, especially YouTube. And thus the delusion began. Every time i got asked to do an activity, or join an Organisation, I'd always refused thinking that hey maybe in the next few weeks I'd be too busy making videos for YouTube. While in reality, i was busy watching videos rather than making videos (only made 1 or 2 shitty videos). By the end of highschool my resume is pretty much blank, not many friends while my delusion still ran amok.

After that, i luckily was still accepted to a Uni. I did good the first semester, joined an org, making friend, trying almost every opportunity to be an active outstanding student. Surprisingly, i was managing my internet addiction.
But then Covid Hit, addiction wins. Just did the bare minimum of classes to graduate.

23, Near blank resume, no friends to call, no romance, no job. Guess I'm a NEET now.

Literally same. I'm glad there are some people in a similar boat on here...

Yeah but you know at least i have SOME social life because of the internet so it's not that bad, i could be a shut in doing double nothing if it wasnt for it.

I wish... I wish I actually got the courage when I was young to talk to people online and make friends. That way I would've at least had something right now instead of pure isolation for years.

Millions. Otherwise, there wouldn't be a need for this:

Tobacco-like warning label for social media sought by US surgeon general who asks Congress to act

In an opinion piece in the The New York Times, Dr. Vivek Murthy said that social media is a contributing factor in the mental health crisis among young people.

apnews.com

Social media should be completely banned by the government for kids who are less than 15/18 years old. Long term, it literally gives you nothing, but destroy your mental health. I remember when Facebook was blowing up in elementary school... The amount of damage it did to me and some of my peers is insane. I remember literally begging for likes like a crack addict. I also got severe sleep, body and self conscious issues due to it. At fucking 12 years old...

I feel internet is fine to some degree and even gaming. It's actually fun and you can learn a bunch of things like problem solving skills and general knowledge about the world, its social media that is the real devil. If people can't buy cigarettes before turning 18 or drink before 21 then they probably shouldn't have access to social media as well...

 

[pyx]

yeah. i used to sink in countless hours into videogames and online communities, effectively ruining my academic performance in highschool and setting me up for a path of regret and turmoil. also, i discovered pornography very early on, which probably contributed negatively to my ameliorated reward centers and perception of sex in general.

 

[vinlander]

Definitely.
Spent some good years on early internet anime forums, 4chan and even the soyjak.party.
The fact that i'm reading your post at 4 am in a school day just adds up.

 

[cowboypants]

For the good part of my life i have been on screens in one way or the other. Online forums are a recent thing for me like less than 5 years.

I'm socially awkward and I kinda gave up 7 years back and been like a NEET since.

I did try to get out of it a few times but would fall out after a few months

 

[deathtakeme]

I've been online my entire life at the expense of friendships and my academic performance. It got worse after I failed out of college and gave up afterwards to be completely reliant on online personas and mindless entertainment. I think it's peter pan syndrome I'm so deep in I don't see an out that's healthy.

 

[sugarb]

Someone looking over the bullet points of my life would probably say yes, but I've zero regrets for at least 90% of the time I've spent online.

I have legitimately fond memories of doing adventure roleplays with strangers, writing bestiary entries for said roleplays on random forums, debating things, writing, playing online games, reading books and Wikipedia articles, watching good movies, etc. It's a part of my life, I enjoyed it, and I wouldn't trade it for the stuff I chose it over.

Social media should be completely banned by the government for kids who are less than 15/18 years old. Long term, it literally gives you nothing, but destroy your mental health. I remember when Facebook was blowing up in elementary school... The amount of damage it did to me and some of my peers is insane. I remember literally begging for likes like a crack addict. I also got severe sleep, body and self conscious issues due to it. At fucking 12 years old...

I feel internet is fine to some degree and even gaming. It's actually fun and you can learn a bunch of things like problem solving skills and general knowledge about the world, its social media that is the real devil. If people can't buy cigarettes before turning 18 or drink before 21 then they probably shouldn't have access to social media as well...

You might be right. I had restricted internet access and no social media or messaging apps beyond forums (no Twitter/facebook/reddit/4chan/pinterest/tumblr/etc) until I was like early 18. As of today I have Discord, lurk on reddit, and avoid downloading any kind of socials due to mistrusting them. They rot brains lol

 

[FlufflesAway]

Yes. The internet is a tool of warfare and social control. It's a net negative to a humane society. It's psychologically 'damaging' to have grown up using the internet extensively. Though they make toy guns, guns are not toys. Likewise, though there's much to see/hear on the internet that may be classified as 'positive' it is not its purpose.

 

[Pachuri]

The way I see it if the internet didn't exist I'd still just be losing myself in books all day every day. The medium has changed but the reasons to escape reality haven't.
Social media really is something that should be kept away from children though (adults too honestly...).

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

In a few years I won't be surprised if a major study comes out showing that consistent internet use causes delays in social development.

Like a lot of others on this thread, I got into the internet via gaming when I was super young, not even at the age where one would start primary school yet. It was the early 2000s and not many people had PCs in my area yet, but my aunt and uncle did and I quickly become engrossed with flash games and MMOs intended for a younger audience.

Over time, this addiction of mine got worse. There were really no opportunities where I grew up due to a lack of resources and being extremely isolated from the rest of the world. You're in the same cohort in school from age 4 until high school graduation, so if you don't make friends as a very young child you've essentially missed the boat because you'll be surrounded by the same people year after year. Everyone knows each other in the area too. I was bullied since a very young age and had 0 friends until I was a teenager and had to go to another school a long ways away because I got beaten by two other girls at school.

Pretty much every other child except me did some sort of sports activity, but because I was autistic, dyspraxic, and had other issues I was never allowed to play. Sports was a competitive affair. During school hours I would sit completely alone and read books, no one would sit with me or play with me. My family refused to move away or make any sort of sacrifice that would allow me to get any support for autism, so it was no surprise that as soon as I got access to non-dial up internet I was spending all my free time on it.

Now, as an adult, everything has lost it's allure and novelty, and the internet as a whole is way more commercialized. Yet, I have very fond memories of using anime forums in the late 2000s, playing on avatar games like Gaia online, watching early youtube videos, using chatrooms, roleplay threads, and discovering Japanese websites like Nico Nico that exposed me to a lot of new music and other cultures. Now, a lot of the things I enjoyed while surfing the web have completely disappeared and been replaced with dull social media.

The internet also exposed me to a variety of new information, perspectives and beliefs that I would have never encountered in the real world. Especially as it was and still is incredibly taboo where I was raised to be LGBT, and the internet was the first place I'd ever been told that there was nothing wrong about my attraction to other women. The downside of that excessive internet usage meant that my irl socialization skills completely fell off a cliff, and I had no clue what people in the real world talked about or were interested in. When I was a teenager I was a full blown NEET for a couple of years, and that period was extremely miserable because I wanted nothing more than to go outside and experience the world, but had no freedom to as I was still a child at that point.

Here I am, over 20 years later since I first used a PC, and still using the internet as a crutch because I have nothing of value in the real world. It's not even fun anymore, I just have no energy or anything going for me so it passes the time. I worked really hard to develop my social skills, go outside, meet lots of people, and overcome my bad childhood but in the end it was all for nothing as everyone priorities their families and childhood connections. I can go days at a time without talking to another human, and not by choice. I have to watch youtube videos at night time to feel less scared and alone being by myself due to PTSD. It's so bleak.

 

[kelp_301]

~ sorry bout the bad english. if you don't understand sumthing that I said, please feel free to ask me to rephrase it. I will be happy to do that!

That's me! Though I did end up attending college and right now I'm enrolled in uni and have a fairly gud part time job. I got that job from my experience from working with computers from early age (not from my education), I work as a 3d artist btw. I think there are two sides to this. If you have gathered sum knowledge from all those years, you can get sumthing out of it. I was an introvert (still am) and so working from home as a freelancer was the best outcome from me. And I couldn't be here if I wasn't spending god knows how many hours on the computer. I'm still addictive to it tho, like sum days I would just binge watch youtube for hours and it is a problem that I need to overcome. Do you have by any chance ADHD? cus I have it and I think that is the main reason I end up binge watching and procrastinating instead of doing sumthing gud for myself.

I think if you can do sumthing about it like maybe learn sum skills like art, programming or sumthing else, it will end up be gud for you.

 

[cymbaline23]

Pretty much. I'm 22, and I've spent most of my life in my room. I was sheltered, homeschooled, and kind of neglected I think, so the internet and online games have always been my escape. Also, I didn't really learn anything being homeschooled because no one taught me, so the internet helped me educate myself like A LOT. The internet is definitely a double-edged sword though, I've seen a lot of traumatizing things, but I also probably would've gone insane without some form of connection. I used to have a lot of online friends, but I don't really talk to anyone online anymore. People are cruel, and I've gotten so exhausted trying to make friends and be a normal person, which really sucks because I feel so lonely, but I don't even know how to make friends or talk to people anymore

 

[sugarb]

The way I see it if the internet didn't exist I'd still just be losing myself in books all day every day. The medium has changed but the reasons to escape reality haven't.
Social media really is something that should be kept away from children though (adults too honestly...).

Come to think of it before I had internet access I spent a similar amount of time alone reading books lol

 

[WhatPowerIs]

Someone looking over the bullet points of my life would probably say yes, but I've zero regrets for at least 90% of the time I've spent online.

Me too. It's better than anything else I could have done. Only thing I ruined is my eyesight, but it's okay.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

You mean like commiserating with others for months, even years, in an online suicide forum?

 

[tbroken]

I got the internet when I was 12 and it completely crushed my education, social life, sleep and overall mental health. At first it was fun and novel, but then that quickly turned into an unhealthy obsession. By just staring at the screen and brainlessly scrolling for 8-12 hours per day way into the night allowed to me to dissociate from real life and its problems. It completely replaced my social life. I just bonded more with online streamers instead of with family and other IRL humans..

Because of this, I missed out on all core elementary school and high school experiences that would enable me to become a functional social adult. Now I'm 24, living a NEET lifestyle with literally nothing to show for it. My brain and identity development is still stuck in elementary school where this addiction started.

I just want to go back and live out my life in the real world, grab all the amazing experiences that were offered to me and actually make something out of myself. I could've actually been present during encounters with people in real life, but instead I either always zoned out thinking about the internet or was just completely fried from the binging that happened the previous day. Overall this unmonitored addiction took everything away from me, including my childhood...

Did anyone have or has had severe problems like this with screens as well?

Present but i got also health issues, and it was a complete mess.

 

[promapicide]

Yep. And one thing I've realized after my dad's passing is that he was addicted to it too. I just learned about "iPad moms" today, but nothing about being raised by them, so I'm wondering if anyone else went through that? I adore my parents, but I wonder how being alone/online so much has affected who I am today.